Lyitis

I have lyitis (Lie-i-tis), I always tell my teachers that but they never believe me. It’s true, I can’t stop what escapes from my mouth. I have sickness that makes it only possible for me to tell lies or be sarcastic. Like today my silly classmate asked did you know that water is H2O? What kind of question is that! “O my gosh are you serious, call the police we have just made a new discovery” I screamed in his face.

Later on I was sitting around minding my own business and another one of my silly classmates said did you know carrots are a vegetables. Shocker. These kids know nothing but that’s ok it means more fun for me. “Are you sure? I swear I thought they were fruits that grew in the ground.” Then the kid had the nerve to say carrots grow in the ground. (face palm and sighs) “No, no they don’t I just made it up on the spot.” I sneered. It just so happens my teacher was walking by while I was talking to the kid. She heard what I said and told me to stop it, then asked for my homework. I told her I didn’t have the homework, that it was really my pet donkey’s fault. He was hungry and needed a snack so I offered him my homework. I don’t even know why I said that, I knew she wasn’t going to believe it, I don’t even have a donkey. But it was impossible for me to stop the lie from coming out of my mouth. I wasn’t really trying either so maybe I didn’t want to stop. I really should stop though because when I ask a silly question then one of the kids will say something like I say to them. Or my mom will make up a lie like I do. Then I’ll be embarrassed, but it’s just too much fun to stop. Hehe

My teacher screams my name, by the look on her face she’s sick of my story. VIOLET that is enough. B-bbb-But it wasn’t me it was my imaginary friend Becky who told me to make up the story. (Talks to air) RIght Becky, right. She starts screaming again. I mean why is yelling. Who does she think she is...my teacher. (Looks up) Oh yeah she is. Th... principal offi… what is this lady saying. I tilt my head to the side, like seeing her in a different view  will help me understand what she is saying. Blah Blah Blah when will she ever stop talking. Now she’s pointing, is her face getting redder. O my gosh she looks like a baboon butt. (Chuckles) Haha. I think she thinks I’m laughing at her, she keeps asking are you laughing at me. Through my laughing I say “Of course, I’m not laughing with you.” GO TO THE PRINCIPAL OFFICE. Gosh why did she have to scream it. I mean I’ve done nothing wrong. NOW she say through gritted teeth. I’m leaving gosh.

(Walks in the office) Yes Principal Dunn it’s me again. It wasn’t my fault I promise. It was a tiger unicon that came in the room and started eating the students and I said it was a new discovery and the teacher got mad. She then started asking for my homework, and I told her the same thing that always happens with my homework. My fish ate it.  And I tried to fight him off but he was too strong. (Makes a fish face) He was like Bloop Bloop and I was like no no Mr. Bloop  I need that. But he didn’t sto- How rude! She interrupted my story. Every time I’m in here she asks the same thing. Why can’t you tell the truth, it won’t get you in trouble? But that’s not the truth why she lying to me, the truth will get me in trouble.

I mean if adults can do it why can’t I. But if I went up to her and said I didn’t do my homework she would give me that disappointed look. That feels even worse than lying and I get extremely bored so I come up with stories to make things more interesting. Spice up my life. After telling me I won’t get in trouble she asked what the truth was. I told I have sickness that makes it only possible for me to tell lies it’s called lyitis. She put her head down on the desk with a loud thump. What can I say, my stories are more fun. I never want to stop telling them EVER!