Maybe One IS Enough...

Maybe One IS Enough. . .

Mom! I’m back! School was great today, and I really liked it! I got an A on my quiz today, I’m student of the month, and there’s a report card conference tomorrow. Huh? Oh no! You don’t have to go! I told them that you wouldn’t have any available times already, since. Y’know. You’re such a hard worker. *Laughs* Don’t feel bad! It’s not your fault. I’d love for you to be there so we could go talk to my teachers about my grades, and so they could tell you that I’m awesome. Yeah! And afterwards, you could drive me to GameStop, and tell me “not to go over 60 again, like the last time!” Then after that, we could go home and put a frame around my report card and put it on top of the fireplace, y’know? You could be proud of me and feel so ecstatic because I’m your son! 一

*Turns around* Hmm? Oh, yeah, I know. Visiting hours are over at 8. I heard you when I walked in. Don’t worry. I’m finishing up here anyway.

*Turns back* Y’know, we haven’t done anything together in a while. It’s been a really long time since. I mean, I’m 15 now. I’m not all laid back in a diaper, smearing my poop all over the walls and drooling on my stuffed animals while I sleep now. I’m past that. We’ve moved on! At least *pauses* At least, you have.

HEY! Do you want to go on another drive together when you’re back? No no, there won’t be another crash this time! *Laughs* I mean, there’s not gonna be another drunken asshole that will hit us and make your head smash against the windshield, am I right? I mean, can you imagine if that we’re to happen again? That CAN’T happen again, right!? That would just be SO unlucky of us! I mean maybe the drunk bastard would die this time? I mean, it would make the world a better place without people like HIM! *Pauses*  Oh. I-I’m sorry. I’m going off again, Ranting. Maybe we can *pause* skip the drive. Yeah. Save that for another time.

Did I tell you about dad? It’s gotten pretty quiet without him around. Where is he, you ask? I don’t know! All I remember is seeing him sleeping on the couch, so I brought him a blanket and tucked him im. After that? I took all the empty beer cases and used syringes out to the backyard. Just like he told me to. What!? You think he left? No! He wouldn’t do THAT! I’m his son! I mean, I’m his son! He wouldn’t leave me all alone. I mean, sure he has 5 others with 3 other women! He’s still human! He doesn’t think of me as a nuisance, right? I’m the best! He’s told me that multiple times! Oh shush! He wasn’t talking about the beer!

*Turns Around* Hmm? Yes, I said I heard you already! Hospitals can’t fucking close. Just give me a second!

*Turns back and breathes* It’s all becoming more and more worse now. Please mom, I need you here. I don’t want to face this alone. You weren’t supposed to do that! We both would’ve been hurt if you didn’t try and save me,  We both would’ve been fine. Honest! I don’t want to keep fighting this alone. Now that dad’s gone, everything is shit without someone with me. You have to come back. You have to!

Ending off my freshman year without someone here will be devastating. I don’t know if this is how every teenager feels at some point, but I want to die right now! Call it puberty or me beginning to understand the world, but it sucks! And I don’t want to be here without you, or SOMEONE for that matter, beside me. And you’re my only option.

*Turns Around* SHUT UP! I’M NOT DONE! GO AWAY! What if it were you? Hmm? No no! Go on! Answer me! *Pauses* Five more minutes my ass, just get the hell out!

*Turns Back in silence* I’ve become a shell. Everything that used to fill me up is gone. And now? What do I have to show for it? A bunch of empty beer cans and a bag full of used needles? What am I gonna do with that? They’re empty, just like me! How does that help me? How is that gonna fill me up? Every time, I would step on a needle while walking down the stairs. As it pierced my foot, I hoped that nothing got into my bloodstream to make me feel like the asshole that left me two years ago to fend for myself without any worry or compassion whatsoever! And you know what? I would fear that more that I would fear death itself! He’s nothing! He’s worthless! I refuse to call him my dad! All he is going to be known as is the insensitive addict that doesn’t know how to take care of a family without making mistakes, and doesn’t know his own definition of life! Instead? He lets the advertisements, bartenders, and drug dealers do that for him! He can’t make the right choices for himself. He has to make me clean up his trail because he wants to believe that he’s been walking down a path that’s clean and drug-free, rather than one that already determined his fate from the very beginning.  One that is filled with problems and no real way to solve them.

Mom, you have to listen to me. You have to try and stand up. Okay? I want to wake up tomorrow and see your precious face and radiant smile greet me with a “good morning”  from now on. We all don’t have this kind of chance. We can start over! As much as I hate to say it, we can get dad back and help him with his little “problem.” We can track down the person who did this to you and we can even help them too! We don’t have to suffer anymore if you just come back!