Monologue- " The Pain I hide inside"

Here he comes again. He is drunk and I’m scared. This happens every other night he will have a bad day at work come home and lose his mind in the bottle. Why did Mom have to leave us, ever since then the brown bottle is his best friend.

Mom left cause she found a new family, I guess I wasn’t good enough for her. She birthed me, she told me she loved me every night so why didn’t she stay. Her and Daddy never had problems; they  seemed in love. Now I’m stuck with a man that doesn’t understand what love is anymore. You broke him, you destroyed all his feelings. Did you every think that leaving us would have such an effect 

“ Come over here” My dad says in his drunk voice. “ What?” I say calmly.

I know what he wants, he wants me to do something for him. Probably wants me to make him something to eat, and if I say no he is going to beat me, if I don’t make his food right he is going to beat me. 

Maybe I should just run away and leave this place. I’m not loved here I’m not wanted. I'm just his servant. I'm his pillow he comes to me when he is too far down in the brown bottle and has anger he needs to get out. The anger about how his job gives him too many hours and not enough pay. How he will never find anyone that will love him as much as Mom did when they first got together. By why take your anger out on me, what did I ever do. You say that Mom and you never had problems till I was born. Maybe but I never wanted to bring problems, I wanted my parents to stay together forever. That is what their vows said. Mom promised to stay together with us forever. She said that we were the perfect family. I guess she lied she didn’t love me enough. I wasn’t enough to keep her happy.

Sometimes I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. Maybe then I will be able to escape this place that I call home.