My Other Half

English E

“My Other Half”

Personally, I have different languages for the various aspects of my life. In my life I tend to keep the way I act in school separate and opposite to the way I act at home. In school, when we’re working on a High School Office episode, I’m as active as I can be even to the point where it’s annoying. When we’re preparing for a confessional, Stephen (Mr. I’m the Director because I have camera) gets Sam ready for his line.

“Ok ready Sam?”

“Ugh Yeah” sighed Sam.

I interrupt with a giant “C’MON PEOPLE I’VE GOT PLACES TO BE!” In an attempt to get shooting done quicker. Stephen retaliates with his own remark.

“Well we would be able to get some shooting done if CERTAIN people weren’t yelling!” yells Stephen.

“WELL I’m only yelling because we waste so much time messing around!”

“Me and you yelling isn’t helping anything either so SHUT UP!”

“Ok you don’t have to a douchebag about it.”

“RYAN! I will KILL YOU!”

“O?”

Around my friends I become a much more open and upbeat individual. Expressing my opinion in the way of choosing without having to worry looking dumb. At home, I change completely. That open and upbeat person becomes so reserved and quiet. I don’t even “Hi” to anyone. I walk and usually see my mom just chilling watching TV.

“If you hungry I made something for you.”

“Ok.”

“OK.” Those are probably the most words I say to them for a while. At home, I usually don’t speak to my family unless I’m spoken to. For some reason, I just can’t be that open and expressive at home. The way I interact with friends is way too (for lack of a better word) weird for my family. When they speak, I can’t even be asked to say something back. In a sense I leave that version of me back at school.

In the words of James Baldwin, “Language, incontestably, reveals the speaker.” To James Baldwin, he saw that when black people spoke in “Black English” it showed that they different from the other white people. It showed that they’ve lived differently from being slaves, in which they knew a few Standard English words but had to piece the rest together for themselves. When I think about my personas, both in and out of school, I understand what he’s talking about. When I’m at school I’m surrounded by a vast majority of people that I can outright trust. Sometimes I can see my friends as more of my family than my real family. To me, we speak the same language, Trust. If I have a problem, I always go to a friend first before anything or anyone else. To my family, they might as well be speaking gibberish since I can’t be my true self around them. When I think about it again it’s like being in Spanish class, I usually don’t say much because I have a fear of being wrong or looking stupid. I don’t want to say the wrong thing to family and just look stupid in the end.

So in conclusion, I would guess as of now my main language among my friends and I is Trust. Like James Baldwin said, my language does reveals a lot about me. It reveals that I do indeed code-switch from school and home. Yet, my code-switch is pretty dynamic. I feel as though I’m two different people living in the same body, and to be honest I like it this way. When I’m around my family we can’t relate with anything at all, but on the other hand when I’m around friends I can be at peace with how I really am.