“Get her, get her! No you don’t touch her, you better not touch her!” I was screaming so loud, my ears were ringing. I was getting pushed back in forth. I hate it when I’m standing the middle of a crowd when a fight is going on. Even though most of the time I’m encouraging people to come and look at them because I was screaming loud enough for everybody to hear. Just because I don’t like people fighting will there’s nobody looking. It seems useless.
We were all standing in the schoolyard because it was our lunch. It was warm day I’ll say not hot enough to have sweaters on but not cold enough to have shorts on. The lunch was made up of the 8th, 7th, 6th graders. We all knew what was going to happen because we’ve been talking about it for months.
“You gon to fight her? my friend asked.
“If she gets in my face, yea!” My other friend responded.
“You better not start bitchin’ neither.” Said the first girl.
“Yea you better Waka Flocka Flame her.” I said. And all my friends started laughing. They laughed until tears came streaming down their faces. “Waka Flocka Flame” was the name of a move my “twin” and I made up. It was basically two punches and a body- slam.
That was me in the 8th grade. I used to be rough, I mean I’m still am but not like I was. When my friends from home and me get together we always reminisce about how we were. That was then, though. This is now.
“You wanna spy on people?” Ayoola asked.
“Yea come on!” I replied. As Ayoola and me ran through the hallways trying to find somebody to spy on, we heard people say ‘ Ya, need to stop. Ya too old to be acting like that’. We would just laughed about it. If you saw our faces you would have been cracking up. Ayoola had yanked her head back, laughing basically screaming. It sounded so bad. I was the leaned against the chipping painted wall, with one hand on my head, and the other on my leg. I was laughing so hard that you heard me gasp for air.
I have two sides to my personality. When I’m in front of my friends that live other my way, I’m this cold- hearted girl. You could die tomorrow and I’ll be like ‘Oh, I really don’t care.’ When I’m around my friends at this school I’m friendly like if you was to die I would console your family. I know it may seem weird but it’s true. I don’t fully understand why I act like that. I guess I’m still growing inside.
One place where I am friendlier is on facebook. I remember when I posted that I was “playing spy” with Ayoola. My friends from home saw it and was like ‘ WTF you mean you was playing spy. You need to cut that out.’ I knew had forgotten that they could see it.
The biggest factor is that I don’t want to have two sides to my personality. I want all of my friends to accept me for who I am. Which is being sometimes friendly and sometimes to cold- hearted. I mean I’m not always friendly, and I’m not always cold- hearted. I have days that sometimes I feel like being “weird” as people call it. Then I have some days when I feel like being mean. All I really want it is for them to accept me for who I am.
I’ve been trying to show them that I’m half and half. This process is going to be a hard one, but one day I’ll like to be able to who I’m really am. In the future I want people to think I’m cool and friendly but I can also be serious. If the people at this school were to come around my way, they would recognize me. If the people from around my way were to come to my school they won’t recognize me. Basically I’m just saying I don’t want to have to act a certain way for people to recognize me.