My Unique Insecurity

‘’ What’s your name ‘’ ? The teacher said ‘’My name is Fatoumata”. This is how it all began in 6th grade. My name was difficult for many people because it was a name that nobody was used to. It was the first day of school I was so excited. I had my navy blue skirt with my attached ribbon , a navy blue shirt and my gold glittery flats. My hair was braided nicely with colorful beads. I was finally in middle school. I get in the car and my dad drives me to school. We stop by dunkin donuts and got breakfast. I gave him a big kiss and I’m off on my way to school. I walk down the steps and go down to the cafeteria. Everyone was there with their parents smiling giving kisses and hugs out to their parents. I was cheesing so hard because I was finally a 6th grader. The breakfast line was so long it was like a herd of cows. I waited in line and finally I got my warm hot pocket. I put my lunch number pin in and went to go find a seat. Every table was crowded. I devoured that hot pocket in seconds , that was the only school food I liked. 2 girls came my way. They were staring at if I were beyonce. They looked and looked and finally said something. I was relieved.

‘’ What’s your name ‘’? ‘’ My name is Fatoumata’’ ‘’ Could you say it again ? ‘’ Fatoumata” ‘’ Fatomatao”? I hated my name so bad. ‘’ What’s so wrong with my name ? ‘’ It’s just a name that sounds weird. ‘’ ‘’ How is it weird ‘’ . I was so upset but I didn’t want to ruin my day with a silly joke like that. I walked up the steps and waited outside my homeroom. The teacher came out the classroom and said ‘’Good Morning students’’ “ Good morning Ms.Shannon we all said. We all walked in the classroom and we all sat down in our little blue chairs with our name on it. Ms. Shannon introduced herself and we played a few games. The name game was next and I was very nervous. I hated the name game it was the worst game that was ever invented. When you’re young you’re mean so much to you but it was the opposite for me. Whenever I say my name people always question , Where are you from ? Where are your family from? Do you speak a different language? These questions get on my nerves so much. I hated to say my name out aloud because the classroom would be so quiet and all the attention would be on me. We would have people in the corner laughing, people sending text messages , people whispering. How could I ever love my name ? I was next I was shaking I wasn’t ready to say my name I was too embarrassed. I was next it was my turn , I got up and the whole class was looking at me. My name is Fat -ou mata. “Your name is really pretty’’. I was so surprised. ‘’ What did you say? ] ‘’ I like your name do you like your name ? ‘’ No I hate my name so bad. ( Bell rings) . ‘’ We will get to the rest of the names tomorrow have a great day’’. I was still in shocked that somebody actually liked my name. ‘’ Hey Fatoumata ‘’ “How is my name so easy for you to say”? ( giggles) “My name is Shakiya by the way and it’s really pretty for a pretty girl like you”. ‘’ Why don’t you like your name? “I wish I could have a name that wasn’t known so I could have been unique just like you.

I wished my mom had gave me a name that was so easy to pronounce or a name that was known. All my life I had to repeat my name about 300 times in a day I hated it so bad. Everybody use to tell me I love your name I just didn’t see anything to like. It was a bunch of letters that people could never get. When I was in middle school people randomly gave me nicknames. Nicknames that cutted my name out of it. I was okay with it in the beginning but then I realize that it wasn’t my name and it wasn’t who I am. I started to realize that I loved my name after a while. I was very insecure about my name because I let people criticism get to me but now it represent who I am and I would never want to change my name ever again. I finally accepted myself and my name it took quite some time. My name was a real challenge to others because it was name that nobody was use to. There’s no a lot of Fatoumata in our world and i’m very happy to be one of them. In my family history i’m the only Fatoumata in the family.

‘’ Fatmaata could you come sit down’’. ( Class laughing) ‘’ Whats funny?’’ ‘’ The teacher pronounces your name way wrong and it was hilarious’’ ‘’ I don’t see anything hilarious it’s a couple of words that she can’t put together’’? ‘’ Ms. Shannon I might not be proud of my name but that’s not how you say it it’s Fatoumata’’ ‘’ Sweetie your name is a name that i’m not familiar with’’ ‘’ Well get familiar with it because I won’t respond to Fat Fat or Mata or Fatou it’s not my name my name is Fatoumata’’. ( Applause) I was shocked .I never cared what people called me only if it wasn’t Fatoumata. That’s when I knew I actually did like my name I just hated that it took people years and years to finally get my name correctly. My name is Fatoumata and i’m very proud to say that’s who I am. I won’t be able to change my name because of the amount. I’m starting to love my name and feeling comfortable with saying my name. Its who I am.