Pipeline Monologue Project

Part I

This unit was all about how the world is an equal place the attempts to make it better. We saw that the UN had plans to make the world an all around better place by 2015, but that it really wasn’t gone about the right way. A specific plan to make the world a more equal place was the plan for the Keystone Pipeline. This is a system through which crude oil is delivered from Alberta, Canada and Northern United States. There are many pros and cons that go along with this plan which is why it’s been debated for about five years. To list some of the pros theres, jobs being created by the pipeline, new found revenue from taxes, and not to mention less dependence on foreign oil. On the other hand, as a country, we really don’t have any money to spend on a pipeline. Plus, if something goes wrong with the pipe itself it can pollute countless drinking water sources. 



Part II

  • Cancer can be one of the effects of installing the pipeline
  • (Tar Sands Action) Gas prices will increase if Keystone Pipeline is put into affect 
  • (National Wildlife Federation) TransCanada’s Keystone XL would carry up to 830,000 barrels per day of tar sands oil
  • (National Wildlife Federation) The pipeline would cross six American states including Montana, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas.
  • (Natural Resources Defense Council) Has already created over 65 square miles of toxic waste
    ponds


Part III

Monologue #1 (A Cup-a Caw-fee and a Pipeline)

(Opens with Connie pouring her friend Stella a cup of coffee)


The people on the news said it would create jobs so uh therefor I think it is a very good plan


Whatayou mean ‘what do I care about jobs?’ Why shouldn’t I care?


No I’m not workin’ smart ass but ya know my grandchildren, my beautiful grandchil-- wait a minute look at this, hold on lemme get it outta my pocka-book Carla just sent me a new picture of kids look at that.


(Grabs photo and shows it to Stella) 


Yeaaaah thank you yes they are very adorable


(Puts photo away while saying)


Anyway yeah they're brilliant kids I'm tellin ya and I want them to have jobs cuz they're brilliant i'm tellin ya. 


They're 5 and 3, little Vinny’s 3 yeah. 


Well I mean in the future I want them to have jobs. When I am no longer here I would like them to have stability. 


What do ya mean it causes cancer howz it do that


Well if you don’t know how you gonna tell me it causes cancer, ya know thats serious business that cancer uh ya want more coffee?


You sure? I got plenty


Carla just brought me two bags of that uh fancy starbucks grind


I got those international creamer things 


White chawc-a-let (chocolate) macadamia


Well alright suit cha self now uh where did you hear all this bologna about cancer?


Yeah you just saw it on the news. Ya know you can’t always rely on the news people these days


Yeah I got my information from the news but I watch channel 3 you watch channel 10 that damn weatherman with the bow tie never gets anything right what’s his name thunderstorm Shwartz or somethin


Hurricane? Yeah Hurricane Shwartz whatever I’m tell ya this pipe is a good thing


(Bangs pointer finger on table while saying)


Whataya mean we don’t have the money? We got money this is the United States of America we got everything. Freedom, that cutie Justin uh what’s his name uh TIMBALAKE.


No you cannot tell me what goes on behind those walls cause no one knows but them for all we know we could be rollin’ in money! Ya sound like friggen liberal have a little faith in ya govament will ya jesus christ!


I’m not gettin’ worked up I’m sayin


Oh Christ it’s already four o'clock I gotta start the gravy


(Gets up and walks in the kitchen)


Oh you’re still on this friggen pipe thing?


No Stell-- Stella! They’re in office for a reason I’m tellin ya


Stella I’m sure they have picked a perfectly suitable person to make the damn thing


Oh here we go its not gonna break ya know you’re makin me sorry I even brought it up just let me make my gravy will ya

 

Ya know what you're making me even confused than when I was 10 minutes ago just eat cha danish I’m all discombobulated



Monologue #2 Designing Disaster

(Opens with Jason at his desk sighing and digging his fingers in his temples)


(Protest chants ringing outside the office building)


Holly! Hollyyy! Holly!


(Assistant runs in)


Is there any way you can get those people to go bother someone else!? It’s hard enough getting any work done with the big bosses and the damn Canadians breathing down my neck waiting for the perfect plan for the god damn pipeline!


No I apologize, I’m yelling at the wrong person.


Thank you. Can you maybe get me an extra extra large coffee with extra extra bourbon?


Yeah yeah I know


(mumbles to himself)


Jesus I was just kidding lighten up


(Starts talking to himself as Jennifer exits the room)


I got people pulling me from each end for years about this damn thing! It creates jobs but we have no money to begin with. It might cause water pollution but it brings in revenue.


(Chanting outside gets louder)


(Jumps out of his chair and shouts through glass window)


Oh will you people just give it a rest already! Jesus Christ I can’t even hear myself think!


(Turns back around to his desk) 


This job is gonna give me a full head of gray hair before my 35th birthday. Essentially I’m choosing between designing something that causes cancer or bailing on a project that can help the economy, feed my family, and further my career.


(Looks up)


What did I do to deserve this? This could be classifiable as torture. I have the mental and emotional stability of a hormonal pregnant woman.


If I’m actually as good of an architect as everyone thinks I am I should be able to design this thing so that it doesn’t break. Right? Of course I can. Yeah, all I have to do is stop thinking like a wuss. Come on Jay,man up and build this thing like its nobodys business. If I pull this off no one gets cancer, the economy has a chance to get back on its feet, but most importantly all the prestige that will come with being the hero of this whole situation. I can do this. Yeah, I can do this. Woo. alright. Jen! Call the big guys and tell em I’m in.



Monologue #3 The Bitter Brit

(Opens on an English man and his wife in the their home in Briton)

(Plops on chair in front of the television and is yelling to his wife in the kitchen about what he’s seeing on the news)


Oy! Darling have you seen this oil rig in Canada and America?


America made a big to-do about this pipeline from there to Canada for Oil. The country is 74x times England for Christ’s sake and all they do is complain. They’re the spoiled brat of the world.


I’m not bitter I’m just saying it causes cancer and they’re still thinking about building the bloody thing because it’ll make them more money.


Well it’s their own fault if they don’t have money 


Look all I’m saying is that if they had a couple Brits in office they’d whip that country back into shape in no time.


I mean hun come here look at this. This thing costs four billion Euros! That’s just ridiculous!


Well yeah it’s not ALL bad I mean they can put a tiny band-aid on their economy but if the damn thing kills everyone they wont care about the economy!


If there’s ever a time to be proud to be a Brit it’s now. They’ve been griping and groaning about this pipeline for 5 years.


Oh I need a nice British ale.


(Gets up and walks in the kitchen)

(When returning to living room grunts as he sits back in his chair and mumbles to himself)


Seventy four times bigger! Ungrateful berks.  


I’m not bitter. It just seems like it’s an obvious choice. Just don’t build the bloody thing. They can find some other way to get their money I mean do they have no care for their own citizens?


Alright Alright I know I’m sorry. I know I’m getting worked up. I know I’m changing the channel. Not my problem. I’ll just stay here in my tiny country.

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