Q4 Benchmark "Origins: Part One"

Chapter 1

“Before I got here, I came from there. A planet far from this one. This planet is lush and green. Such beautiful flora and fauna. A species called “humans” dominate this planet. They have such interesting civilization with governments, economies, religions, and free will. This is far different from my home world. I come from the planet called Dracon. It has deserts, mountains, dangerous creatures… you would think it would be like Earth, but there’s one difference between this place and Dracon. Constant war. All over the planet, war was everywhere. It prevented us Draconians from having a proper civilization. All that ever happened was war. All that was ever discussed was ever. All we were ever taught was war. War was the end for us, and it would seal our fate.”

A battle has commenced in a great desert. Soldiers coming from the mountains, running and screaming onto the desert land. They threw their punches and kicks landed into each other’s faces, and each blow caused quite a boom. The ground rumbled, the mountains shook, and soldiers flew. It was quite the battle. In the end, after the dust cleared, there were soldiers walking off into the sunset, while hundreds lie on the desert floor, beaten and killed. 

“It was one of the deadliest battles in Draconian history. The soldiers of the Federation were badly defeated by the Uprising,” said Mr. Jahn as showed his students an old wall painting of the battle. Every student seemed interested in this fascinating history. Well, everyone except for Dar - Ol. Dar - Ol was an unusual Draconian. The reason for that is because he doesn’t talk about fights or war, he talks about peace on the planet. He says one day, he will save his race. Until that day comes, he has suffer being bullied by his classmates, and receive harsh criticism from his parents about growing up to be a warrior. His thoughts were interrupted as Mr. Jahn continued with his history lesson.

“This marked a crucial point in history for the Federation. They were down many men, and the Uprising could easily attack the capital. In which case, they did.” He stuck his hand out to show another old wall painting.

“The Uprising took the final battle to the capital, where it was a slaughterhouse. The Uprising took it to everyone, killing anyone who got in their way. The men, the women, and the children. It seemed like lost cause. The battle was over before it begun. It looked like the Federation would fall.” continued Mr. Jahn. At this point, Dar was almost completely out of it. He couldn’t pay attention to this lesson. He was about to leave until…

“When suddenly, a hero emerged from the destruction.” This surprisingly caught Dar’s attention.

“A hero,” asked a fellow classmate. 

“Yes, a hero. One with vast incredible power. He defended the capital and everyone within it. The generals of the Uprising were stunned. This one being trumped every soldier in the Uprising. Many reports said he could move like a blur, some said his strength topple even the strongest of us, some even said he jump from side of the city to the other with a single locomotion. Whoever this being was he was unstoppable.” This put Dar in a daydream so deep, he believe that taking the role of the hero.

“What happened in the end,” asked a fellow classmate.

“In the end, the generals themselves challenged this being to fight them. The generals were the best of the best. They were ones who could move fast, jump far, and have the most strength.”

“Was it enough,” asked a classmate in the back of the group.

“It wasn’t even close. Even the generals speed, power, and agility were trumped by this being. They had never seen anything like it. They forced the hero’s hand, and they surrendered. What seemed like a day that the Uprising would win turned into a victory for the Federation, and the government maintained itself from then until now.”

After the little daydream finished, Dar spoke up to ask a question.

“Mr. Jahn, what happened to the hero?”

“Well…” said Mr. Jahn with a long pause. “I don’t know. In fact, no one does. There has never been recorded information about the hero. The generals couldn’t see his face because he moved so fast, and he never came out in public.”

“Someone had to know,” said a classmate. “I mean, there had to have been one person that knew about him.”

“If there were, I’m sure they wouldn’t give away his identity. For all we know, the hero is probably dead,” finished Mr. Jahn.

This sunk Dar’s heart a bit. Some students noticed it, and decided to start making fun of him for it.

“Aww, Dar’s gonna cry now. His hero went croak.”

“That’s probably his granddad.”

“You want to be a hero, wimp? Grow up strong and big like us, not weak and pathetic.”

Luckily, Mr. Jahn heard their little whispers and called them out.

“Gon, Sram, Wel! When we get back to school, all three of you stay for extra training.” This breathed a sigh of relief for Dar. The three of them have picked on him since he came to the school. He’s wanted to take them so badly, but unfortunately, he knows he couldn’t. All three of them were about half a foot taller than him, and had about 20 to 30 pounds on him, and they were very good fighters. No doubt, Dar was actually a great fighter. Trainers have compliment his progress, especially Mr. Jahn, one of the most experienced fighters in the school. However, speed doesn’t always trump power, especially if three of them who have more power than him.

The day continued on in the museum, but all Dar could think about was being the hero, and using that power to save his people. Maybe, get some revenge while he was at it. They board the vessel to return to the school, and when they got back to school, everyone (with exception of Gon, Sram, and Wel) went on home. Dar could’t wait to tell his parents about his day, and the history lesson he learned.

Chapter 2

“… And this guy was a huge legend,” exclaimed Dar to his parents. He was saving the hype for his parents, but sad to say, that hype was wasted when his parents didn’t really show the enthusiasm that he expressed.

“Dar, that’s nice to hear,” said his mom, Kare, with no emotion while doing her chores. His dad, Don, still training in the holo room, didn’t even say one word when Dar was home. This was the basic routine for Dar. He would always come home from school, and see his parents (who were soldiers of the Federation) would be either training or doing chores around the foundation. They never spent too much time with Dar. They expected him to go school, learn to fight, come home and train with them, eventually turning him into a soldier for the Federation. 

“Honey, let’s stop with the silly stories, and show us what you learned today,” said Kare. This caught Dar by surprise. He thought his parents would think this was a big thing he learned, that his parents would be interested.

“It’s not a silly story! It’s amazing! This is something that should be considered an inspiration for soldiers,” exclaimed Dar in confident voice, only to have it short-lived by Don after coming out of the holo-room.

“Please, that old legend? That’s a myth. You said it yourself, that it was used as an inspiration. After the Federation took back the city, they believe that the Uprising started to hallucinate and imagined the so-called super soldier. There was no one in the Federation army that had enhanced abilities, and we would know. During training, we have the trainees under surveillance. It’s protocol,” explained Don.

“Maybe he had to break protocol…,” continued Dar before he interrupted by Don.

“That would be impossible. The holo-room has surveillance cameras, motion sensors, sonar, detection plates, you name it. The reason for that is so the fighter can see how he fights from every angle.” Dar was decimated. 

“Why would the museum lie about the legendary super Draconian,” he asked. “There has to be an explanation.” 

“Well, the only reason I think they would tell about the super Draconian is because of the overwhelming reports of seeing the being. So many from the Uprising and still plenty of reports from the Federation,” Don responded.

Dar’s confidence is at an all time low. He was so excited about the legend, only to be told that it was a myth. 

“Come on, Dar. It’s a myth. It can be true or it is false. Let’s just go training. Show me what fighting techniques you learned, not legends and stories,” said Don with reassurance. Dar walked with Don into the holo-room. He still pondered the myth. He decided to go on, figure out the legend by himself. He still thinks it’s true, and he wasn’t going to stop until he proved that.

Chapter 3

So Dar set out on his long journey to find out about the legendary myth. He went to his friends, and went to the collection halls were they store data of old historical events. Some of the really old and secretive data was kept in the old chamber room. Dar came to the main desk, and there was a young female collector there. She was on the computer processing the data throughout the collection halls. Dar thought she was kind of cute, even though she was way past his league. He knocks on the desk to get her attention, and succeeds. 

“Excuse me, hello. I was wondering if you could give us access to the old chamber.” The female smiled at him. For a moment, it looked like Dar would get a yes easily. However…

“Why would I do that? You’re like 10 years old. Only special people get privileges like that,” she said with such attitude. Dar felt offended. 

“Excuse me,” he responded. “But I’m actually 13, and what do you by ‘special’?” 

“Well ‘I’m actually 13’, but by special, I mean the staff, business, scientists, teachers, etc. You, young man, are those kind of people.” Dar was really aggravated. He hated how she kept referring to him as little. She was really cocky. So he decided to be cocky right back at her.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I really need to see the old data from the Uprising era. Now you could do that with no problem at all, or I could go your boss and complain that I’ve been given false data, which I’m pretty sure is not beneficial for you at all since you, you know, you run all the data in the halls.” He crossed his arms, and tap his foot on the ground. The collector wanted to say something back, but was actually afraid that Dar would go tell the manager. All collection halls were built the same way, so it was easy where to find the collectors and the manager. So she decided to carefully sneak Dar into the old chamber. 

“Thank you,” he said relieved. 

“You’re welcome,” she said sarcastically, and returned to her desk. Dar went through the data, looking into the old reports of the Uprising era. He needed to look for evidence of legend besides the big city battle. He looked throughout the data. He couldn’t see anything. He spent 4 hours in the chamber, and triple checked all the data. He didn’t find anything. This made him frustrated and sad. He walked out the old chamber, and started walking out the collection hall. He passed the collection desk, and the collector resist to comment.

“Couldn’t find what you wanted to find,” she said with a fake enthusiasm. 

“No. I didn’t. Ok? That a good answer for you? Should put that in your data,” he replied with anger. She jumped a bit from the reaction. He walked out the collection hall and into the night. 

He kept thinking to himself, “How could I’ve been that foolish?” He walked throughout the city towards his foundation when suddenly a black vehicle made a screeching halt in front of him. Two guys stepped out the car and attempt to grab him. Luckily, his training makes him a formidable opponent for these two. He started to do the “duck and knuck” strategy, one his Dad taught him. He would duck under opponents’ strikes and punch them in the pressure point located in the abdomen. It would knock his opponents down in two to three attempts. It seemed like an easy fight, until he realized something. He was a bit sluggish, and noticed why. He was tranquilized. The two lunkheads actually got to him because of the severe decrease in his speed. They knock clubbed him. He fell to ground with a hard thud. He lied there, vision blurry and hearing muffled. The last thing he saw were what seemed like a black militia suit. He heard talking, but he too far out of before he fell unconscious.


For this benchmark, I decided to base my story off of a fighter I made for capstone. I thought I would give people a little insight of what my character was before he became a fighter as I will portray him to be in the game. I tried to find a way to incorporate how I could be the role of the protagonist as I wrote my story. It didn't seem hard actually. It was pretty easy, to be honest. Most of the situations in the story are situations we've been in before. You, know, like that mythical legend. It was like how I believe Santa Claus was real for a while only to told that he wasn't real. I don't know what my audience to take from my story. It's only half of it, but a really good half. I think I just want them to be interested in how creative I can be with my writing. What did I gain from my work? The fact that I did a damn fine.