Reocurrence

I shuddered as the brisk november air flew up my skirt knocking me off balance, I yelped out, swinging my arms desperate to find something to steady myself. My heart raced, I looked down. Bad idea.

“Ida, can you please be the hell careful! and hurry up! Andrew pulling the car around.” Fey called up from the ground. I took a deep breath in, I can do this. Its only two stories, thats not bad. With one leg already out the window, I swung my left one out and balanced myself on the ledge. One jump, thats all it took, I’d jump from my ledge onto the tree and scale my way down. 

Wiping my sweaty palms onto the black skirt I wore, and pushing my red hair from off of my face, I stood up, putting all my weight into my toes, ready to leap. 

“hurry the fuck up Ida!!” Fey was never the most patient, as much as I wanted to get this over with I wasn’t about to risk my life. 

I closed my eyes and envisioned myself pushing off from the ledge and gracefully flying through the air. I imagined how the tips of my shoes would meet the branches and how smoothly i would climb down the side and land on the ground next to my friend. 

Opening my eyes, and praying one last time I pushed off, the tree came closer it was right in my grasp. My foot landed on the branch the way I envisioned, 

“good.. good, steady” I heard Fey calling from the ground. I was on the tree, I took my foot and attempted phase two. The climb down. I put only a little weight on the next branch to test its strength. It seem sturdy, I brought all my weight down, and cautiously started to bring my right leg to meet it. The branch started to give way, bending a little at the middle. My heart started racing, pounding against my rib cage. Sweat rolled down my brows, I lifted my right foot back up into its original postion. 

“Fey, I can’t do this!” I yelled down “the branch is going to break, I can feel it” I was on the verge of tears, this was a bad idea. It was silent below me, to terrified to look down I called for Fey again. 

“Ida, look down...” 

“No, Fey i will cry, just go get my dad or something. Theres a ladder in the garage” I could feel my right leg cramping because of the awkward position it was lifted in. 

“you are such a drama queen .. “ i heard Fey mumble, hearing her feet rustle against the dead leaves I figured she was making her way towards the garage. 

Something grabbed my shirt, and pulled me downwards, I stumbled, my heart dropped. a hand covered my mouth to muffle the scream that we all knew was coming. 

“Shhhhhh!!” Fey yelled, holding onto my shirt, “you were literally one leap from the ground dumbass” She helped me regain my balance. standing I shock I couldn’t do anything but laugh, looking from her to the tree and the branch I realized I was less than 7 feet up. My face felt hot, I could tell i was still sweating. I waited a moment to collect myself before asking Fey where Andrew was.

“last time i checked he said he was bringing the car around” she checked her phone. “ he’s parked on the corner” she said before locking her iphone and putting it back in her bra. 

We both made our way to the next block over, I couldn’t keep up with Fey’s fast pace stride, 

“keep up” she called. I jogged to catch up with her, heart still racing at the thought of what i just did. I’ve never been this defiant towards my parents, everything they told me to do I obeyed. As i slid into the plush leather seat of Andrews ford explorer, the reality of what I had done sunk in. I felt a rush of adrenaline course through my veins as he sped off down the dark quiet streets of my neighborhood. He turned the radio up a couple clicks as we made the final turn out of residental area and onto the main highway. This was the first time I’d snuck out and I never felt more alive, my mind started to wander at the thought of what would happen if i got caught. I quickly pushed it out of my head and decided to live in the moment and enjoy it now. I rolled down the windows so the sweat of me trying to leap from my second story window could dry. 

“We’re on our way!” Fey screamed out the window, Andrew hit 95 and sped down the open highway. The time on the digital clock read 12:45am, by the speed we were going we’d be there in a half an hour tops. 

“Yo this party is going to be crazy!!” I felt like I was in competition with the radio, over all the noise i felt like nobody could hear me.

“I hope its not corny. I did not just do all this for nothing..” I was relieved when Fey turned around from the front seat and responded. Her face lit with excitement, her brown her hung just below her chin was now blowing wildly in the wind. 

“I don’t think JasonTeary’s parties are ever corny, trust me.  these things are crazy” andrew called from the front seat as he switched into another lane. The entire car jerked as he recklessly switched. Andrew was never the most safe driver, I snugged deeper into my seat. 

“This. is. my. song” Fey reached for the knob and cranked the music all the way up. We all began nodding our heads in sync to the music. This was going to be a good night.

***

Andrew turned off the highway about 28 minutes later, we cruised down one of back roads for a good 10 minutes before he made a left onto a small cul-de-sac. There were faint sounds of music, I strained my ear so I could hear it, hjeart pounding with each second passing, the bass became louder and the words in the distance became more distinct. We cruised down the street, around the bend i craned my neck and strained my eyes to make out the figure in the distance. A large house sat the the very end of the cul-de-sac. Teenagers swarmed the lawn, the red cups that littered the lawn reflected the lights. Cars were parked on every side of the house including in th streets. Andrew couldn’t make his way completely down to the cul-de-sac.  was able to make out a couple of people I knew. I couldn’t fully believe that I was here. This was completely unlike me, but i was determined to enjoy every minute of it. As andrew parked the car I reapplied my lip gloss and fixed my hair. Checking my unarm pits for sweat stains I took out my perfume and sprayed myself 3 times. 

Emerging from the car, I pulled down my skirt and fixed my shirt so that my breasts sat upright. Fey came around the car and stood next to me, “how do i look?” she said fixing her hair, 

“cute, you guys ready?” i called back to Andrew who was already in the trunk of his car pulling out a package of beers. Nodding he pulled one off of the ring and began guzzling it down.

We walked towards the party, as we approched I started to recognize people that I knew, old friends from middle school, people from my current school and even people from my neighborhood. Half of them too drunk to stand, I wanted to be where they were. I watched yearning for a drink, walking up the steps, Fey was they first one at the door.

“Do we knock?” she asked. Knocking didn’t seem logical, the music was way to loud for anyone to hear.

“Maybe its unlocked” I suggested trying the knob, half surprised when I wasn’t locked. this was our first time at a frat house. Nobody knew what to do, Edfer has the craziest parties every year. When he graduated Fern High me and my friends made it a must to go to his next party. This was it, I crossed the thresh hold and immediately a wave of sweat, alcohol and vomit hit me ambushing my nose. I put my hand to my nose and began pushing my way through the crowd looking for a drink. Fey trailed behind me, 

“daaamnn” I heard her mutter under her breath. “this party is crazy.” We contiuned through the crowd of sweaty teenagers. Potheads in one corner rolling and smoking, alcoholics in another corner chugging and doing shots. You had people to drunk to function stumbling and falling everywhere, there was every different groups here yet they all seemed to blend together perfectly. 

Fey and I finally found the drinks, browsing the selection I settled for a cup of Vladimir Vodka mixed with fruit punch. Fey pondered over the selection, did two shots of vodka straight before grabbing a beer. 

“You drink beer?” I said, shouting over the music

“whaaat?” Fey screamed turning her ear to me. I shook my head dismissing the question i already knew the answer too. Fey didn’t drink beer, she was probably just doing it now to get a buzz on. 

I lingered around the drink table filling my cup as it grew low, a couple of people came over to talk to me but for the most part all I had was Fey. We lost Andrew at the door, these were more so his friends if anyones. Around my 5th cup of the same Vlad and Fruit Punch I decided to go dance. Throwing my red cup on the floor I got up, the alcohol hit me instantly almost knocking me back down. I stumbled back using the chair to regain my balance. Laughing at my own clumsiness I started walking towards the yard. Pushing my way through the crowd of intoxicated adolescents I made my way to the sliding double doors. 

The fresh air hit me almost as hard as the alcohol did, knocking me back into the screen door. I stumbled struggling to regain my balance, I felt a hand grab my waist, steadying me. 

“woah, i got you” a voice deep male voice said, I jumped pulling away from the hand and turing to see who it was. he looked alarmed at my sudden movement, 

“Are you okay?” he said moments later, he was a handsome fellow about 5’9 brown hair, piercing blue eyes, he had broad shoulders a muscular frame, and the deepest dimples. His beauty left me breathless, all i could do was nod my head, 

“you don’t look it.” he pressed on, I continued to shake my head, I was fine, “ I didn’t even drink... drink that much. I’m ... I - I am fine.” I began to feel a little lightheaded, shaking me head and rubbing my eyes I looked for a place to sit down.  The stranger moved towards me, putting his arms out as if to help me, I shooed him away. As much as I appreciated a little assistance there was something about him, something off that made me question if excepting his help was a good idea. 

Too tired and dizzy to say anything else I shut down and let him help me, my stomach was in knots, I felt dizzy again, it became harder to breath. He pulled my hair back from my face and leaned me over the railing. I instantly threw up, seeing all the liquor I had consumed inside the party. He rubbed my back and retrieved napkins. All the while I couldn’t help but think who was this guy, I had no clue. Once I had finished thowing up, he went into the house and got me a bottle of water. 

“Drink this” he said, I obeyed and began guzzling the water bottle down, not stopping until the contents were gone. 

“feeling better” he said after I had finished drinking the water, all I could do was nod I still felt a little weak. there was a bench on the far side of his yard, I started to make my way towards it, I was done for the night. The feeling of being drunk, and throwing up was one I never wanted to feel again. I now knew why I had never attended one of these parties before. I suddenly wished I had stayed home. I heard footsteps being me, I knew I was being followed, I turned being me to see blue eyes, I hadn’t bothered to ask for a name so thats the only thing I knew to identify him as.

“Why the hell are you following me” I called to blue eyes behind me, he laughed a little before responding, “thats the way to talk to someone who’s about to save your life.”

about to. Those two words rang in my head, what did he mean by about to. I was tempted to ask him, but decided he was just as drunk as I had been and let it go. I didn’t have time to entertain his stupidity. Ignoring his response I continued on towards the benches. 

“Mind if i join you?” he called once i got there, I sat on the one furthest from the house, the pounding of the bass made my head hurt. 

“I don’t care what you do,” there was no reason for me to be so mean to someone who held my hair as I threw up, yet a part of me didn't trust this stranger. There was something off about him.

“I don’t understand why this time you’re so mean Ida, normally our encounters are pleasant ones” blue eyes said as he took a seat next to time, I scooted over, I didn’t want him that close to me.

“When did I ever tell you my name,” I asked realizing he had just called me Ida. 

“This name you never told me, but i’ve been keeping up with you. I was surprised when Theodore agreed to let Lynette name you Ida, I know he wanted to name you Lisa so bad.” My heart began to race, I was more uncomfortable at the fact that he knew my parents first name than at the fact that he was so close. I didn’t know this kid, never seen him a day in my life, yet he knew what my parents wanted to name me. He knew personal information that I’m pretty sure nobody knew but me and my little sister. 

“How... how -” I couldn’t even get the words out.

“How did I know” blue eyes finished the sentence for me, moving in closer. “I don’t know if you caught this before, you’re a smart girl Ida, I kinda hoped you would. But I said Im about to save your life...” there was a hint of arrogance in blue eyes voice, like he knew he was some sort of super hero. Like he knew I was dependent on him. It made me angry. I wasn’t dependent on anybody, and at this moment he just sounded crazy. I started to get up I wasn’t about to sit here and listen to a drunk mans stories. 

“I noticed. I don’t think you noticed how crazy you sound right now. You don’t know me, you don’t know me at all.” I snapped turning my back to walk away.

“Ida i know everything about you, jeez you were so much nicer in your other lives. I’m just going t get to the point. I’ll Rip the bandaid off fast. We are stuck in a universe that loops. You have been living the same life for 569 years. You’ve been to this party 569 times, we’ve had this conversation 569 times, you’ve thrown up about.. 569 times. Oh and i’ve saved your life 569 time. there is about to be an explosion in that house caused by a dumbass trying to light a blunt on the stove and a whole bunch of open flammable liquor spilling everywhere. Everybody you know, including you little friend will die a sad a tragic death except for who.. -” blue eyes paused and looked at me. I could feel my airway closing, sweat trickled down my forehead. A million thoughts running through my head, I shook the small thought that suggested that he was right. I soon shook all thoughts from my head having to do with this topic. Turning my head and waving my hand I dismissed blue eyes. I had decided he was officially out of his mind.

“don’t believe me if you want to, but one thing you’re not going to do is walk in that house.” blue eyes voice turned cold, it sent a chill up my spine. I wanted to disobey, and go in the house. I didn’t want to listen to blue eyes. after all if he was telling the truth then I’d just “relive” this day over again. But something about his voice, something about  the way he said it made me want to obey him. “why me!” i snapped “out of everybody here, you pick me to save. I don’t understand. why not just let me die. Find somebody else to save” by the look on blue’s face I could tell he was hurt. He looked as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words to do so. I stared at him for a couple more minutes waiting for my explaining as to  why I am the damsel he choose to focus all his time and energy into. “hellooooo!” i called when I still got no response. blue continued to ignore me, his gaze distant, I had no clue what he was thinking, a part of me cared for him and wanted to listen to the warning he had given about not going into the house. Another part of me wanted to believe he was delusional. When i got ignored for the second time I decided to go into the house ignoring all warnings blue eyes was giving me. Turning my back on him i started across the wet grass, ignoring the shards that were getting caught in my sandals.

“We were supposed to be married” blue calls after me. I stop dead in my tracks. “we were supposed to be married, married with kids. three of them Josh, Jordan and Jamira.  We lived in a house just outside of new jersey ... you were a wedding planner and I use an accountant..... our life was perfect.” I was frozen in my steps, partially in shock and partially in disbelief. I looked back at blue waiting for more to the explanation, Something to convince me that he was telling the truth. A part of me wanted him to be telling he truth, I never envisioned myself even being alone for this long with a boy let alone marrying one. I couldn’t allow myself to grasp that idea that blue eyes could be telling the truth. 

“A few years back, our future changed.. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. But one morning I woke up and you weren’t there. our kids weren’t there. I’ve spent years jumping through time reliving this day. Reliving this day 569 times trying to convince you to make the right choice. Trying to convince you to not go into that goddamn house Ida... but every single time, you choose to ignore me. You think i’m bullshitting and honestly I’m not trying to give up on us. On the life we have but i’m getting close to it. So i’m standing here, begging you. Not to go into that house. For the sake of our marriage, our kids. Our future.” blue is damn near in tears, his face is red and he is out of breath. I feel for him, I don’t know what to say. I debate in my head if i should listen to him of not, if his words are true. If i stand out here long enough will the house infact blow up. I shake my head ...this isn’t real. I begin making my way towards the house. This time running, I sprinted away from the creepy boy with the blue eyes and headed for the house. Nothing he said was making any sense. None of that was possible, how does one travel through time and relive the same day over and over again.

“IDA!!!!” I heard blue eyes scream, ignoring him I pressed forward, the wind blowing through my hair. The sweat dripping off of my forehead. Stumbling something I struggled to regain my balance. I could hear blue eyes , cries from behind me he begged and pleaded for me to come back. I just wanted to find Fey and leave, we should’ve never come. A rumbling sound stopped me dead in my tracks, several screams came from the house people started filling out onto the porch in hysterics. I gazed up at the house, the kitchen erupted in flames. My heart immediately fell to the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t worried about the fact that blue eyes had been right, I was worried about my friend.

“FEY!!!” I cried for her, unable to move, I wanted to go in the house in search for her, but couldn’t get my legs to obey with what my brain was giving it orders to do. The windows busted out of the kitchen and more people ran out of the house. Some on fire, some badly burned, I could still hear blues cries in the distance. 

“IDAA!” he called, I looked back at the sound of my name. Blue waved his hands motioning me to come back to him. He was saying something but i couldn’t make out what. “A... Aw..AWAY” away? I didn’t understand what he was trying to say

“GET AWAY” I heard it, but it was too late, the house exploded, shards of hot class cut deep inside of me, I could feel the heat from the blast burning my skin, it soon became hard to breathe. I flew through the air, bloodcurdling screams left my mouth and joined the others in a perfect symphony. I hit the ground hard, cracking something in my back, I couldn’t move. I could still hear blue’s cries as closed my eyes and let myself go. 

***

I shuddered as the brisk november air flew up my skirt knocking me off balance, I yelped out, swinging my arms desperate to find something to steady myself. My heart raced, I looked down. Bad idea.

“Ida, can you please be the hell careful! and hurry up! Andrew pulling the car around.” Fey called up from the ground. I took a deep breath in . . .