Ruben Burenstein Monologue project

Spare a million dollars?

By Ruben Burenstein

Cast of characters: 

Mugabe (president): Age 86. President of Zimbabwe. Very corrupt, takes millions of dollars from companies that are trying to help his country. 

Steve (banker): Has connections with the president, so he gives the idea that there should be high dollar bills. 

Harvey (rich):  Anger issues. Made a lot of money before loosing it all because of inflation. 

Susan (poor): Accepts that he is poor, Isn’t furious at the president for making money worth nothing, because now people have to live what he lived like. He is a little mad at the president because he is worth less though. 

Matt (doctor): Is tired of having to accept other objects for pay instead of money, just wants to have a normal job. 

Tom (shop owner): Makes the change to only accepting money not from Zimbabwe.

Banker for government- At beginning wants to create more money because food problems.

Act 1. Scene 1

STEVE

(Walking around, looking at things, stands with food in the background with people walking in the streets.) 

Wow why is no one here, there are always people in Tom’s. it’s not a weird time for people to shop, where is everyone. What are we out of at the house? hmm...We need some more apples, maybe some more carrots, some noodles, chicken, and potatoes. 

(Walks over to one spot)  

Excuse me, do you have any apples or carrots? Only apples...alright, ill take 4. What? the prices are still going up, is there anywhere else I could get them?. Are you sure?... Well I don’t have enough money for any of those. Why are the prices so high? A food shortage, alright I guess that I will have to go home and get more money. 

(Walks away)

 I wonder what we can do to help people out in this food shortage. I have enough money just because I am a highly paid banker, but what will the normal people do? 

(Looks upwards as if thinking) 

I know! since I have the power to get higher dollar bills made I should try to make bills that are easily available for everyone. Maybe if they have these bills they will be able to buy food and other necessities. I think that’s what I will do. This might cause inflation if we need to keep doing this... but nah it won’t because the food shortage will stop eventually. I think that I’ve got a good idea here, let me call the president and ask him. 

Act 1. Scene 2

HARVEY

(Pacing back outside of Tom’s store, cracking his fingers) 

All right, time to do this. I have a license to carry, maybe I can just buy one and get out. Okay here we go. 

(Enters store) 

Hey. Um yeah, do you have a 9mm pistol? Yes I do have a license here it is. I have about 2 chickens outside if you want those as payment. Yeah about 30 rounds also. Okay thank you. Have a nice day. 

(Exits store and starts walking slowly) 

Whoa that was easier than I expected. Now how am I going to do this.... It looks like he is going to be stuck in his house for a while. I don’t blame him, the whole country hates him. I think maybe I will scale the gate, and try to break into one of his windows in the back of his house. Should I try to hold him hostage and demand money? No, that won’t work because money is worthless now. I think I should just go in there and shoot him. After he ruined what I worked so hard for, and drove this country into one of the worst states it could be in. Someone ought to do this before he messes things up more. Is it even possible for him to do that? He steals from organizations trying to help us, he doesn’t care about us or anything else as long as he gets rich. If I wanted to become as rich as he is now I would do it without ruining the lives of thousands of people. If no one else is going to try to do this, I guess I’ll have to. It would make more sense that someone like me do this because I lost more money from all of the inflation. 

(Sits down) 

 All of that hard work, I started off small and made my way up to the top. Everything that I worked for is all worthless now. I used to have everything I wanted, a pool, a 100 inch TV, a nice car, 50 chickens, everything I wanted. Now I have to use those chickens for payment, it’s all they are good for. That all changed when the inflation picked up. Everything that I had was worth nothing. It makes me so frustrated just thinking about it!

Act 1. Scene 3

SUSAN

(Sitting down in a comfortable chair with a television in front of her.) 

He’s been coughing for a few days now, and feels as though he has a temperature. Maybe I should take him to the doctors. There isn’t any money lying around, but that doesn’t matter I can probably get a big sack of peanuts on the way there.  Even though I can take my kid to the doctor without paying money, it doesn’t feel right. We had just enough money to do this when money counted for something, it just doesn’t feel the same. With the absence of money there isn’t anything that people work for. I hope that the doctor will take the peanuts instead of some money from here, or want American dollars which I don’t have. I don’t want to go into work because I don’t want to get paid in worthless money, or anything else. The government needs to attempt to fix this problem instead of steal money and not care about what the people think. 

(Stands up)

 I think that I have to keep working for things other than money to keep this family afloat. Well I think that I can pick up some peanuts from someone on the street if I say that I will help them out with something later. I should leave and go take Charles  to the doctors. I’ll leave enough money on the table for whoever gets home to buy some food from Tom’s, they are the only place that has any food for not completely over priced prices. 

(Puts things on a table) 

300 million dollars should be enough for a meal, and a little more food. Alright, time to take Charles. 

(Walks out door)

Act 1. Scene 4

MATT

(Hospital beds in the background, standing with a clipboard.)  

Hey, Jim I went in to Tom’s today to buy some new medical supplies and they were so much... No way more than that, have you been to the store lately... It’s ridiculously expensive, they need to come out with a new dollar bill that is worth even more... Alright go take care of you’re patient, I’ve gotta write up what that kid earlier had... Yeah the one that paid in peanuts, I still can’t believe we are going to accept that as payment. Why would we want peanuts? I guess it could be more useful than other things, but why should we work for things that don’t help us. We need to make something of value in order to keep working, not just getting peanuts that might help with our job. What else will people try to pay with before we say that we can’t accept that… I think we only accepted the peanuts because that we can’t buy much with the money... The point is that we can buy things with the money if we have enough, so I don’t think we should keep taking other things. I think I might quit in a week or two if the money keeps getting worth less, because I don’t want to put all my time in to getting things that don’t help me personally. Oh sorry to keep you so long, go find your patient. 

Act 1. Scene 5

MUGABE

I should lay low for a while after what happened last Wednesday. That killer almost got to me, thank god my most trusted body guard saw him. I wonder why he was so mad, I think that I am running this country very well. Hello Catherine, yes I can take a call, okay, line one, alright. 

(Walks away a few steps and picks up phone) 

What? I already apologized for that. Yes, I know it was wrong but I don’t care. Some of that money should have been mine, so I took it. Look I’m not going to give it back so this conversation is over 

(Hangs up phone.) 

I can’t believe they blame only me for that, it was Steve’s fault also. Why doesn’t he get blamed for a lot of stuff, he is in the same situation as me. We both thought it was a good idea to make higher dollar bills, but why do they only blame me? I tried my best to help the inflation issue, but there wasn’t that much I can do. I don’t understand why the people are so mad at me. They shouldn’t rely on only me to fix the country. There was nothing else I could do for this country, I mean I guess that I could have not taken that money, but why wouldn’t I if the money I get paid is worthless. I could have not let the others print higher dollar bills, but that wouldn’t have helped, because then no one would be able to buy any food or supplies. Why do they blame me, I made the right choices for this country and myself, they should realize this instead of getting on my case all the time. Catherine, come in here please! Could you run down to Tom’s and get me some new food? Thanks, here’s a billion dollars, call me if there are any problems. 

Act 1. Scene 6

TOM

(Sitting down behind a check-out counter) 

Hello welcome to Tom’s,  What would you like?... Just those pants, okay... No we don’t accept Zimbabwean dollars. Why? Because we don’t want billions of dollars if nowhere accepts them. Yes new policy started last week, that will be 15 US dollars, nothing else... Well then I guess you’ll have to leave them here, come back when you have money worth anything. Have a nice day, hope to see you again. 

(Takes the pants that were placed on the counter) 

Who would have thought that a small product like these could be worth so much. 2.7 billion dollars, 2.7 worthless billion dollars. How did this all start out? Everything used to be priced normally, how did it change so much in so little time? At least we are making the switch to other types of money, it’s about time. It got so frustrating selling food, and other things with that shortage. 

(Touches the pants) 

 After that man came in trying to buy some apples a while ago but he couldn’t afford because they were too much; my eyes really opened. I am glad that we started selling clothes, when we switched to US dollars. It brings in more money but still one thing is on my mind. Why couldn’t we have switched earlier, everyone could see that the prices were way to high and that the government was just messing it up further. Ughhh what are we going to do with the pounds and pounds of almost worthless paper that we have now? Are they going to have something where we can exchange all of this worthless money for other types of money? That might solve the problem a little more, but not entirely. It will take a long time for everyone to stop accepting Zimbabwe money and switch to US dollars. I wish that we could have just avoided the inflation in the first place, it’s so frustrating having to switch to a completely different form of currency with no preparation.