School vs. Home




The past seventeen years of my life I have tried my hardest to not do things that make me unhappy or feel uncomfortable, and I manage to do a pretty great job at this. Most kids growing up have a list of rules to follow. Such as curfews, who they can and can’t hang out with, what time they have to go to bed, the music they can listen to, and the language they’re exposed to. My childhood on the other hand, lacked almost all of these things. And I commend my parents for this more than I  can begin to explain. Not once, have my parents ever pulled the infamous “I don’t want you hanging out with that girl, she’s a bad influence.” because for one, they trust me, and two, they trust my judgement of the people I surround myself with. How are you supposed to make the transition from being dependent on parents to becoming an individual when you have people constantly trying to control your actions. Telling you what’s wrong, and what’s right, what the proper career is, and what an improper career is. The answer is you can’t. Odds are you’ll  end up becoming a robotic, rehearsed, unhappy human being full of regrets. Luckily, my parents have dedicated their life to preventing this from happening to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a wild child that does whatever she pleases when she pleases. I do as I please when I please, but always with reason.


Ever since I can remember my friends have always adored my parents. “Oh my god your Mom is soooo chill.” “Yo your dad is the coolest dude ever.” My mother being a ditzy, plant loving, artist. And my father being a bearded, motorcycle riding, music junkie. Then there’s me, the perfect mixture of the two. I can think of a million and two times that my father and I have sat in our basement listening to records simply just talking about life, and out of all 1,000,002 times we’ve done this, not once has my father ever enforced that I do something that makes me unhappy. And during these conversations I don’t think I could count the amount of times he tells me to do whatever it is that makes me happy and to never do something solely based on the happiness of others, such as attending college directly after graduating. I know nowadays not going to college seems like an illogical, idiotic thing to do, but I know it’s the right choice for me.  


Considering all of these things, I think it’s pretty clear that I stick out like a sore thumb at SLA. 90 Percent of the students come from families of professors, lawyers, architects, etc, who not in all cases, but in many brainwashed them into being someone that they truly don’t want to be. At least that’s the impression I take from getting to know many different people here. Forcing them to take torturous extracurriculars, and all sorts of other things that the average teenager wouldn’t want to do. Then there’s me, neither of my parents attended college, yet they still managed to provide myself and two older sisters with a rather luxurious lifestyle. Helped me to focus more on creating and maintaining happiness rather than only focusing on my future college career which until absolutely necessary is irrelevant in my eyes. Thankfully, my parents are extremely supportive and understanding of my choices.  


Now the thing is, there’s two Anna’s. The home Anna, and the school Anna. When I’m home I’m far more relaxed over all. I openly can talk about things that actually interest me without being judged, such as not going to college directly after graduating high school and moving to Northern California to attend Oaksterdam University, so I can then pursue my future career in legally farming Organic Marijuana, and eventually live a self sustainable life. The school me, on the other hand, hid these things from my teachers and classmates majority of my high school career because I knew that people were going to look at me like an idiot and all of my teachers would think I was on drugs. And for the record my prediction was true. Almost everyone I tell this to that doesn’t know me personally, gives me an uneasy look and proceeds to say “Oh, wow.” and that’s usually where the conversation ends.

Being in an environment with people that are completely different than you can be really uncomfortable at times, and that’s a big reason as to why I never say much when I’m at school. There’s nobody I can truly relate to therefore if I talk about things that interest me or I believe in I’ll just get looked at weirdly. I’m horrible at keeping my thoughts and emotions in, so you can imagine how stressful it is for me to act like I’m somebody I’m not. If I feel a certain way about something I make it known, but when I’m at school I can’t do this, and it’s honestly the most frustrating thing. SLA has changed me in ways that I didn’t want to change. Staying true to myself is a big part of my life, and I just simply can’t do that here without feeling extremely uncomfortable.


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