Struggles in Life

Life, yes life, everyone at some point or even everyday goes through some obstacle that blocks their path. I had to go through several everyday.

You ask for my name? It's Hector, always Hector. Not some fancy name like Hector D. Johnson, it's just Hector. I constantly remind myself of who I am, my name, my birthday, and why I continue to not give up.

I have been through so many places and probably another is going to add itself to that list. I have been through 7 hospitals, 3 RTFs, Residential Treatment Faculties for those who do not know, 4 foster homes and it just keeps growing. I have only myself to rely on and nobody else. It's really been hard for me to trust anyone because either I never see that person again or they betray me. I just can't TRUST anyone. When I went to a new RTF, I immediately got into a fight and the “staff” who were “supposed” to break it up, did not. They just stood there and laughed and smiled like it was a comedy show. How could I trust adults, when I'm just entertainment for them?

They just put all these boys together and what did they expect? That it was going to be a Happy ever after? Hell no, it was just Chaos, there was fighting wherever you looked. I said that there are only boys and I never saw a girl in a RTF. I wonder where they kept them? I hope it was better than THIS.

When I was first thrown into a hospital, I thought, “Is this where I spend half my life in this room with bars on windows?” It felt like prison. It WAS prison. You couldn't even have shoe laces, belts or anything that can be used to kill yourself. I wasn't gonna do that.

The foster homes weren't much better. They were prisons too: house rules. The owners said, “You can't do this and You can't do that!”. There were classic rules like, “You need to eat your veggies first.” and “You need to eat everything on your plate before you can have more.”

You're probably wondering why I keep track of where I have been. It's the only way that I can trace my life back to my parent. Yes I left my parent at a very young age. That parent was my mother and I will never see her again because I cannot contact her. My mother has blonde hair and a wonderful smile and I will never see her smile again. My father told me, I'll see you again in three weeks and I never saw him again. I pushed him out of my mind because he betrayed me. All I can do is to continue to live and get through these difficulties and break through. I hope that one day I will see my mother again, healthy and happy. But I know one thing, that I won't see her anytime soon because I am moving again to another place.

*Residential Treatment Faculties