Take With Food

(Sits at a table) I sit here again, like every night, pondering at this cold plate of food I could never eat. I wonder why I can never eat once I get home. I’m excited as its being made then when  its in front of me, its complete poison. I always thought it was her cooking, so I begin to make my own meals, and again, I just sit here, pondering at it as it gets cold, watching it as a crystal ball as I review my day. (Slides plate away)

I greet each person I see at school in the morning and always get a smile or  greeted back. I bring fellow students laughs and they are always excited to have me with them. In class I always understand the criteria and help other classmates that need assistance. At lunch I always have my favorite, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can eat it everyday and so I do. At the end of the day if I had a club I would go. Greeting everyone as I walk in. I contribute to whatever activities we are doing that day and always receive an applause for a job well done. When its time for me to go, I would receive goodbyes as I leave waving good bye to everyone.

When I get home, I would turn up my music and do my homework, soon my mom is home. She would ask me about my day. I always say fine. Then we have dinner. She would become impatient and head upstairs leaving me to my untouched plate. Then we are where we are now. (picks up a fork full of food, looks at it, drop it back on the plate)

So why am I so depressed? Why does my day always end like this? A complete change of mood. Why do I feel so lonely? (Lays head on desk, after 30 secs and lifts head up)

I sit here again like every night pondering at this cold plate of food I could never eat. I wonder why I can never eat once I get home. I just sit there pondering at it as it gets cold, watching it as a crystal ball as I review my day.

I greet each person I see at school without ever getting a response back or even notice of my existence. I make jokes in class but are never heard because I speak it softly and the person next to me then repeats the jokes louder and receives full credit for the laughs it brings. In class I can never understand the criteria and when I ask for help from other classmates, they act as though I do not exist. At lunch I always eat the same damn thing, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At the end of the day if I had a club I would go. Greeting everyone as I walk in and have no looks down my way. I contribute to whatever activities we are doing that day with no applause. When its time for me to go, I leave waving good bye to everyone with no one paying attention that there is now an empty seat or if it was or was not empty in the first place.

When I get home, I would turn up my music and just sit on my bed, by then my mom is home. We would talk about our days, I would tell her the same line and nothing else, “It was fine.”. Then we would have dinner. She then would become impatient and head upstairs leaving me to my untouched plate. Then we are where we are now. (Watch beeps) 7:30… (Pulls out a baggie with 3 pills) Take with food….. (Pops one pill)

My life isn't as perfect as I thought it was. Its not all daisies and sunshine. Just here, as a normal unseen kid. I’m alone. I’m on my own. Except- I’m not.

I sit here again like every night pondering at this cold plate of food I could never eat. I wonder why I can never eat once I get home. I just sit there pondering at it as it gets cold, watching it as a crystal ball as I review my day.

I greet each person I see at school without ever getting a response back or even notice of my existence. Except my two friends, they greet me and hug me. We talk about our previous night and the day to come. (Picks up a fork full of food and begins to eat) I make jokes in class but are never heard because I speak it softly and the person next to me then repeats the jokes louder and receives full credit for the laughs it brings. Yet I still manage to pass along inside joke to my two friends. (Eats more food) We laugh and keep the day going. In class I can never understand the criteria and when I ask for help from other classmates, they act as though I do not exist. So I move my stuff next to my friends and ask them and they can always find a way to explain the subject giving me an easier way to figure it out. (Keeps eating) At lunch I always eat the same damn thing, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, its the only way to get my special brown candies in, crushed in my peanut butter because they are too big to swallow. I keep a stash of candy in my bag, my mom puts it in my bag every morning and sets my watch for me before I leave. She mixes the special white ones she wants me to take with colorful ones that are ok to share. I hate them, the tastes like the doctor’s office but she says it's important to swallow them everyday at specific times. I share the unprescribed ones with my friends. At the end of the day if I had a club I would go. Greeting everyone as I walk in and have no looks down my way. I contribute to whatever activities we are doing that day with no applause. When its time for me to go, I leave waving good bye to everyone with no one paying attention that there is now an empty seat or if it was or was not empty in the first place, because of that I usually skip the clubs, and instead hangout with my friends. (Eats faster) The city becomes ours as we roam the streets, making jokes and laugh anxiously. Buying candy and sharing with each other. We share secrets and help each other with problems. When its time to go home, we move the party to the bus. We take control of the back of the bus and play games and make jokes always trying to keep smiles on our faces, though we in stuck in in this miserable life. We try to stay positive and keep ourselves in the light so we can't see the shadowy engulfing dark side. (Pops second pill)

(Stands up) My friends have been there for me through thick and thin! They were my umbrella when I walk into the rain! They have been there for my roughest hours and have been my rock! I should not be sad to have such a blessing! I should be thankful to have them in my life!

(Looks at the plate) So why am I so depressed? (Pops third pill) Why does my day always end like this? A complete change of mood. Why do I feel so lonely? (Lays head on desk)