Th1rteen R3asons Why, The Four1eenth Re4sons

So, if you are listening to this then you must have picked it up in the lost and found. When you are done I want you to pass this around the people on this list on this tape.

I think that sometimes people don’t understand the difference between life and death and why someone would want death over life. Well, I have expressed thirteen of the reasons for my suicide in other tapes that thirteen people knew about and as for you the person who is listening to this all you need to know is how to mail this to the next person.

Now down to why I made this tape, I originally thought, “Oh well the people on my list know what they did and now they know how it affected me in my emotional state.” Even so I thought that maybe through these tapes I could lead someone to go through something like what I went through because I don't think that I could wish that on anyone in this world. 

So here I go…

When I was done with the thirteen reasons and already packed and mailed them I thought to myself what about me, all those thoughts I had after those events and all those choices that I made affected the outcome for my decision. 

The first thing that I did concerning the first tape was when Justin spread the word that we did a bit more than kiss. He was wrong on his part, but maybe I had something to do with it because of my reaction. One rumor isn’t so bad and after all that I went through that was just a small part. Though it was the beginning of a chain of events.

Alex, you know what you did and it wasn’t just to me it was to all the girls on that list and because of that list you are on mine. I know I could have taken being on the good side of that list optimistically but it was what happened after that list that made me upset. When you put me on there I lost what I thought was a friend because of it and my reputation didn't get any better. In high school your reputation is all you have really, because you don't have any real world experiences that you can be proud of and help you move on. That rep gets you the nods in the hallways or the shunning in the lunch room. 

Jessica, I understand your point of view and I understand that you were mad with all these rumors, that you didn't know what to believe but I needed you to believe in me and I think that is what broke me down most. Losing your first friend in a new environment takes a toll on you and I think this was the downward spiral in a snowball effect.

Tyler, no one wants a stalker. That makes you feel weird and wonder why they would want to stalk you. Once you find out you wonder what they have already seen. I don't think there really is anything much left to say after stalker outside your bedroom with a camera.

Marcus, when you reinforced the rumors I thought, “Wow people really believe this crap.” I was shocked that someone could here something with no evidence and still believe it. 

Zach, I didn't know that what I did hurt you so bad, but in my time of need and the pleading look I gave you I thought you deserved it. Then you had to take the only  encouragement in my life. I guess what I'm trying to say is I was fishing for someone to say something nice to me in the sea of bad talk going around.

Clay, why didn't I get to know you better?

Justin, I don't know why you didn't stop Bryce, but I know I was too scared to and afterwards it made me feel horrible. I didn't want that burden on me because if you know you can prevent something bad and you don't, that is basically the same thing as going up to the person and giving them permission to do it.

Bryce, I don't know if you know I used you, but I did. By that time I made up my mind. With you I let myself fall deeper into this hole that was dug for me by others.

Mr Porter, you didn't stop me and I don't think I could have stopped me either especially at that point. I am sorry for putting you in such a difficult position in my decision.

One final goodbye to all of you.

For the audio click here

“Th1rteen R3asons Why” by Jay Asher tells the story of Hannah Baker a girl who killed herself. Clay Jensen is one of Hannah’s classmates and co-workers. He is on the audio tapes Hannah recorded and is listening to them throughout the book. I loved Jay asher portrayed Clay and his thoughts in the book when he was listening. Jay made some really great points about many suicide cases that I have heard about and he was so sincere through the whole book. You could tell Clay really cared for Hannah and wanted more of a relationship with her. You can tell clay is battling some conflict within himself and with Hannah. Hannah on the other hand was dealing with every type of conflict. She would have conflict with society that she would then reflect on inwardly. Additionally contrast was displayed when Hannah would face these situations. It was this vicious cycle that wore away at her emotions and I think the author did a good job of showing those emotions through the text.

Though the author was very good at conveying the emotions through the text, the format of the writing was hard to read. Going back and fourth from one person’s thoughts to another person’s thoughts was hard for my brain to differentiate. When I finished the novel I wanted a guide so I knew how to read the book. I wanted to get my mind ready to switch quickly from one persons’ train of thought, to the other’s, to the conversation one is having, to a conversation that the other had. Other than that the book was very well written and I cant wait to see if the movie that is rumored to happen will ruin the novel or hold ute to the characters jay has created.

The book hit me hard because I have struggled with some of the things that Hannah went through and I know others that have also. Hannah was the character that I could relate to, but Clay is the one that I understood the most. I could easily follow Clay’s train of thought and why he would ask the questions he did. When I first picked the novel up I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. The book is very deep and it took me on an emotional roller coaster. The reader can take away that everything can effect any situation a person is going through.