That's You in the Mirror

Maaaaan, I wish I got something for doing these chores. Isn’t that right Lucy? (Laughs) You’re such a good girl. Let me see you do a trick. On three, jump as high as you can! One, two, three! Woah! (Laughs) That’s enough Lucy, get out the bathroom. I need to finish cleaning.

(moment of silence until a sudden loud slam from a door)

I don’t know! It wasn’t me! I didn’t knock over the vase, I swear! (Noise progressively getting higher) You told me to do my chores before playing games so I’ve been trying! What do you mean? Go to my room? (Door slams one more time as Oliver locks the door)

I just don’t get it! She blames me for everything! Whether it be spilling the tiniest amount of water on the floor to simply doing a chore, I’m still blamed! Everything! (Deep breath)

Why does she do this? All I want to know is why.

(Silence)

It’s been like this for years. Ever since my father left to Virginia for work, things been different. It’s, like, unexplainable. My mom looks at me differently and so does my brother. It’s like I’m alone in this world and no one left to look for.

(Deep Breath)

C’mon, look up, Oliver. That’s you in the mirror. Now look down. That’s you in the getting nearer. Nearer to giving yourself to the false blames of your mom. Look up. (echo followed by silence)

Is it really my fault? Is it really my responsibility to carry these actions? I know I didn’t do it but why am I affected? It’s like my self-esteem, my confidence... is this really what I’m worth? Am I worth being the blamed for something I didn’t do?

No I’m not but my father isn’t here. He’s the only one I appreciate in my life but he’s not here for me. He left to Virginia to pursue his music career and I don’t know when he’s coming back. He left me alone but why? He did music over here before but why over there? So many questions that surround my mind and I just can’t get an answer. Hmm...

Maybe, this was on purpose. If my father was watching over me now, he wouldn’t want me to keep whining in the damn bathroom.

He’d want me to face my problem. He’d want me to find what I am worth. He’d want me to see the clearer picture.

That clearer picture is… it’s not my fault, but my parents. I don’t like this answer but I’m going to have to live with it. I don’t have control over what people think of me nor should I care. It’s not my responsibility to hold this guilt that isn’t mine. This is the turn in my life where I need to seize the opportunity.  

Right in front of me is a door. It’s separating me from my mother. The only thing I can do now is stand up for myself loudly. Disregard the consequences because once I find my voice, it’ll be heard. Oliver… I know this will not be fun and not easy so prepare yourself. Stand up strong and survive the moment in your life. Your main goal is to survive. Once this is over, you can escape…

(Door creaks open)

Mom. Mom? Mom!

(Door slams one last time)