Aside from the occasional grammatical or formatting error, this was a very well crafted story with an interesting premise, and it was one that had me captivated the whole way through. I noticed internal dialogue as a technique, and it really helped emphasize the stress I felt merely reading this piece. I didn't get many deep messages, except… don't gain too much hubris? That's kind of a general life lesson though.
I love how much detail that is laid out in just the first paragraph through the technique of visual writing. Although there is a lot of description in such a short span the space is not wasted like the rest of the story. And it all adds a great deal to the setting while not giving anything away and it really put down the foundation for the atmosphere. This story through and through is very very unique! The tension that I felt involved with the spying government birds is very real. All of the characters are very fleshed out and feel real.
I really liked the characters, they all seemed very believable, especially the first one. I also liked all the imagery, and how you put a lot of detail into the character's thoughts.
This story was really well written, It was creative but also something that could happen. I thought that the way you split it into two characters being written by two people was an interesting way to write and the writing was really cohesive.
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