The Pain Microaggressions Cause

Kankoue D. Folly

Ms.Pahomov

English 2

18 September 2018

                                                  The Pain Microaggressions Cause

It really started two summer ago, racial profiling that is. It began once I started to grow taller and taller. First, it was the unintentional staring and the pulling back of purses that occured on the bus and public areas. At first I didn’t care, however things start to get annoying over the course of time. I thought it would go away, I thought I would soon be safe from the stereotypes that come with the color of my skin, this never happened it never got better if anything it worsened. I eventually got used to this daily mockery is what I considered it.

“Goodbye.” I said to my parents before I exit the house.

“Have a good day.” My mother answered back with a heavy accent.

It was a chilly morning so I put on my hood as soon as I got out of the house, put on my headphones and started walking to the bus stop. When I  finally reached the bus stop there was no one there except for a lady with a handbag and cigarette between her fingers. I walked past her and stood behind the bus stop, mostly to avoid the smell of the burning cigarette.  As soon as she saw me I could see the fear she had instilled in her, she held her bag closer to her, I ignored this.

“She’s just worried about her belongings, it's normal” I thought to myself. I took out my phone in an attempt to make things less awkward. Then,I started to get anxious,

“Whats taking the bus so long?” I started thinking to myself. The bus seemed to be nowhere near us so there I stood with this lady that would look back at me every fifteen seconds to make sure I wasn’t going to rob her. The bus eventually came and when I got on I sat all the way in the back, to avoid making any more people second guess their safety because of my color and size. The bus picked up more and more people at every stop, then we eventually reached the transportation center. I walked down the stairs and went into the terminal and there I waited for the broad street line southbound express to arrive. The terminal was pretty packed I could tell that the train would be packed as soon as it arrived, I shook my head in discontent.

“Doors are opening ” Said the robotic voice as when the train arrived and started opening its doors. I entered the train and unsurprisingly it was packed. I made my way over to the closest empty seat and unfortunately for  me it was an older civilian. This resulted in the usual response of gripping the bag and facing the window to avoid eye contact. I sat there and pretended not to care or notice, but the longer this went on, and the harder I tried, the  angrier I got. It wasn’t normal anger, rather it consisted mostly of confusion, I was angry about how I was being treated and I had no idea as to why I was being treated so.

“Why do you clench your bag?” I thought to myself. As the train stopped in Race-Vine, I thought about asking the lady the question, however I decided it was not worth my time. I got  off at the next stop and took off my hoodie. I took off my hoodie as if it was going to make any difference. As I was walking it came to the conclusion that people will always judge me based on the color of my skin, no matter how hard they try. This made me understand what I was going to have to endure everyday for possibly the rest of my life. Something not only unique to me but to every other black male out there. It made me think about how I was a lucky one, the fact that I haven’t been shot, or killed like some black males my age. I was lucky that I was alive.  Now that I look back on certain incidents, I do not blame people for what they do, rather, I blame their surroundings, for people are a product of their surroundings. People do not just act towards me the way they do because I am black rather it is because of the things I, a black male, is portrayed as in society. To this day, I still undergo racial profiling on a day to day basis. Everytime I see that my presence causes the squeezing of belongings, I too squeeze my eyes shut, and I think of a better tomorrow.


Comments (1)

Kavina Davis (Student 2021)
Kavina Davis

I think you writing about what you thought about this was really thoughtful and Interesting. I also think that you did a really good job with talking about black stereotypes, and how the woman who clenched her back had made you anxious once you saw another one. furthermore, I think you being very descriptive towards the end really brought your personal essay together because even though microaggression or racial stereotypes are Important, you didn't react to the woman. overall this Is really good!