The Ride- Jonathan Rodebaugh

Jonathan Rodebaugh

Ms. Pahomov

9/19/18

The Ride

I start to walk up the long side walk of Frankford Transportation Center. It was my first day taking Septa by myself. I was shaking, every person I saw seemed like they were staring right through me. I walked into the building of the transportation center. I felt clueless even though I knew where to go. Throughout my childhood I have taken the L with family and felt fine about it, but sometimes I just feel really insecure about the little things. For example, if I accidently took something that wasn’t mine, I would have nervous breakdowns and not be able to sleep.  In the building I asked a million questions, just to make sure I was going in the correct place. I stepped onto the escalator that looked a mile long, as it crept higher I felt my heart pounding louder and louder.

As I got on the train, I was still unsure on what I was supposed to do. The train was mostly empty, except a man in the back. He had headphones on and a black hoodie. I asked him if the train went to my destination. He gave me an unclear answer that made me a little more uneasy. The door closed and there was no turning back now. As the train started to move, fear spread all through my body, The only thing I could think about was how many stops were left till my stop.  As the train got closer, I got more anxious. When I am a little worried about something, I get super stressed, and that is what was happening. I kept reminding myself that I had done this before and been fine. My brother, just a week before, showed me step by step on what to do. Now I felt like I forgot everything.

The almost empty train felt so cold. I was sitting alone, feeling lonely and nervous. I felt weird because I was alone, usually, I would  have a brother or a friend to talk to and just keep me company. In replacement I just have me and my thoughts. At this moment, my thoughts just sounded like a million people screaming at me. I couldn't even think, my head felt like it was going to explode with anxiety. I was counting down the stops, and also trying to pass the time until it was my turn to get off the train.  Finally, it was my stop. It felt like I was on there for hours. As I got off the train I let out a big sigh of relief. I have almost accomplished my journey. I walked on the dirty tile of 13th street station, I felt free being off the train. I neared the trolley stop, and was excited to almost be done, but I just got nervous all over again.

I arrive at the trolley stop, the automatic doors open and I walk up the steep steps and find an empty seat in the trolley. I sat down and my shaking began again. I just stared at the outside the window to make sure I did not miss my stop. Then a girl who looked about my age noticed my anxiety, and asked me, “Hey, are you ok?” I said yes, and that I was just really nervous. This was the first time in my trip that I was at ease, because someone related to me. Then I noticed my legs shook a little less than before. I had a renewed belief in myself that I could accomplish this trip.

The trolley rolled up to my stop, the doors opened and I hopped off. Then I started walking toward the steps up to the street. Each step up felt like a little more nerves were falling off my back, like a weight was being lifted. As I got to the outside, the light of the sun hit me in the face. That light felt like victory. Even though this might be a small accomplishment for some people it was huge for me. I walked up to my destination, then let out a big sigh of relief. I felt more independent, and that I could do something on my own and be okay.