This needs to end...(niyala brownlee0
This needs to end…
(In her room sitting in a corner with low light down knees up.)
I’m scared….
I’m scared shitless. …
(Pleading)
I want this to end.
No I need this to end.
What did I do to deserve this?
I mean, all I did…was help someone.
Was that so wrong?
They were being bullied,
And I thought it was wrong so…of course I intervened.
(Suddenly bland cold voice with no feelings but hate and blame)
But then It happened.
They turned on me.
First…the school,
…And then my friends.
I could handle the ignorance of the teachers and the sudden downfall in my ‘Popularity’. But of course,
When you leave something unattended or…let things go on without doing anything about it for a long time…
It gets worse.
Much worse.
(Sarcastic snobby tone)
It starts with the small pranks,
You know,
Like the old disappearing desk, or…the classical egg throwing and being locked in the bathroom stall with a bucket of water dumped over your head.
(adding in a lost wondering tone. Almost as if shes not speaking )
Then it turns big.
Thumb tacks everywhere you go. Burning trash in you book bag.
And if that doesn’t make someone paranoid enough,
(Questioning answer demanding tone)(Starts pacing)
Then what about when you to home to find everything in your room trashed,
but the doors were all locked. (smirking)
When you can’t even be safe in your own house… its scary isn’t it?
Yeah well you don’t even know the half of what it feels like. (cold wincing look)
It make me afraid,
Very afraid. (Sad face, start looking like she’s going to cry)
Makes me…Paranoid. (hands up to either side of the head wide eyes, wild crazy look)
I need help.
I need them to stop.
I need this to end.
What am I going to do.
When will this end?
(Just figured out tone)
Know, I know why that kid never said anything.
Know I know why no one dared to speak up.
But of course I had to open my mouth and say something.
But I don’t regret it.
I don’t regret what I did.
(Starts slowly speaking with fierce determination gradually getting louder. Emphases on the ‘I’)
What ‘I’ regret is how I never said anything against my own abuse.
What ‘I’ regret is how I didn’t stop it before it started.
What ‘I’ regret….
(Suddenly stops and starts speaking slowly but still determined)
…No…what I can’t stand!..
Is how I had the guts to stand up for someone else, But I coward in fear when it came to myself.
If I want this to end,
I have to do this my self.
I have to take the first step and take measures into my own hands because that’s where they were in the first place.
But when I strike back, I will not do I will not sink to there level with their dirty childish tricks.
I will be mature with my attack.
It wont be physical. But it will hurt like hell.
It will end my torture.
But at the same time, it will make them think twice about doing this to me, or anyone ever again.
Yeas that’s how I will fight back
That’s how I will win.
(Smirking determined face)
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