Three Quarters

This is not the life I imagined 7 years ago. I imagined that we would always live the way we did. But now I am 16. What did I get? A pat on the back, a job application form, and a deeper realization of life. Not to sound ungrateful, but I wish we had it better. Mom and dad are each working two jobs, and so are you, Eddie. You’re only 19. I remember when we used to sit in the front yard, naming all of the squirrels we would see. Even when we moved here, you named the cockroaches we occasionally saw. I wish I had your spirit.

But now I’m 16. It’s my turn to work. I have to help our family. It is hard living this way, but with one more paycheck brought home each week, it will get better. We could ask “What are we having for dinner?” instead of “Are we having dinner?” We could get more than a pair of socks for Christmas.

It’s my turn to give back to the family. After all, I am the reason we live the way we do. I want to be able to let mom and dad and you know that I care about giving the family what I took away.

Don’t “I don’t know Daphne,” me. With a job, I can help work for the life I wanted to have when I was a little girl. A little girl with 2 legs.

Why am I getting so excited? I will never be able to get a job. Who wants to hire an amputee? Why hire three quarters of a person, when there are full ones out there? Yes. I am, Eddie. I am incomplete. I need crutches to walk on my own. I get weird stares on the street. I can’t play sports, run with my friends, or dance at parties. I can hardly get up the stairs on my own. I should have appreciated what I could do before it was to late.

Of course I’m ready. I need to give back to this family! I am the reason we live like this! If it wasn’t for me, we could still live in the suburbs, and go to a nice private school. I know it isn’t my fault, but it's true. If I hadn’t gotten sick and needed my freaking leg cut off… *sighs*

I want to live an easy life. I really do! Is it too late for that? I am already 16, but I haven’t achieved anything. I haven’t traveled, I haven’t gotten exceptional grades, nothing special. All of my friends have great lives. They go to the shore during the summer and buy fancy clothing from fancy stores. They eat healthy vegan food, take photo shoots in the park, and have clear skin. Why must I be disabled and have acne? It’s unfair!

You know what, nevermind. It is not worth getting frustrated about. I… I just wish it hadn’t happened, you know? Life is hard with 4 limbs, let alone 3. But, I’ve made it this far. I can’t give up now. I have a whole life ahead of me, or something like that. I’ve already lived 7 years with 1 leg. I can go through another 7. And then 7 years after that.

And look at Marlee. She is an amputee and she is living a great life, job and everything! I suppose I can be successful. I just have to put my mind to it. Also, I am lucky enough to have two working arms. Now that I think about it, why wouldn’t someone hire me? Even if I only have 1 leg, I am a strong, persistent, awesome young woman.