Tongue-tied

“Good morning!” My step dad proclaimed.

“Good morning!”

My step dad bent down and kissed me.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

I gave a smile

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.” I responded with shyness.

My mom came and I asked her if she could carry me. She grabbed me under my armpits and picked me up. I rested the side of my face on her right shoulder, crossed both of my hands behind her neck, and crossed my legs behind her back. I couldn’t put my thoughts into words. I was afraid and ashamed to talk to my step dad. I hardly spoke to him unless if he spoke first.

I was 8 years old the first time I met my American step dad. I was still in the Philippines at the time. He looked different compared to us. He had discernible features. He seemed very tall and his skin tone was pinkish and lighter than ours. But, his way of speaking was something else. His language was different and he didn’t speak our language. He spoke English!

We had been learning the English language since nursery but we never really spoke it because we spoke in our own language, “Ilonggo”, one of the dialects in the Filipino language. We learned alphabets, numbers, and as we got into elementary school, we were learning phrases and sentences in English. Even though English was taught in school, we didn’t use it to speak; not even at school.

My sister and I were always speechless when our step dad spoke to us. We couldn’t form words in our mouth. The way he spoke was very amusing and intimidating. He used words we’ve never heard of before and his pronunciation was different. In school, we were taught to pronounce every single letter of its own. For example, “what do you want to eat” is “watt doo you wannt to eet¨. So, when my step dad would ask me, “what do you want to eat?” I would give him a shy smile. He said “what” without the “t” and rolled his tongue when he said “do”. I kept the amusement to myself and was always too shy to speak to him. We were always stunned by him. He seemed like an entirely different person because of how he spoke, but there were times when he was interested to learn how to say a certain thing in Filipino. As we were eating, my step dad asked.

“How do you say rice in Ilonggo?”

“It’s kan-on.” Someone blurted out.

“Canon?”

“No, KAN-ON.”

“Canon.”

Everyone cracked up. It was a funny thing but, it was quite entertaining. He was fascinated with our language. As years went by, we no longer were frightened to speak to our step dad. We may still be intimidated by him and were too shy to chat with him, but we spoke more than before.

In 2012, the movie “The Hunger Games” was released and it grabbed the public’s attention. My sister, my cousins, and I decided to watch it. I loved the fancy outfits, the places, and the energetic characters in the movie. However, I was kind of perplexed by the plot while my sister and cousins understood it and were very thrilled after the movie. We came home at around 8 o’clock at night as my mom and stepdad were having dinner.

“Hello!” We greeted them.

“Nay, nag lantaw kami The Hunger Games.” (Mom, we saw The Hunger Games) My sister exclaimed.

“Oh, ano na sha?” (Oh, what is it?)

“Bag’o na sha nga movie.” (It’s a new movie) One of my cousins responded.

“Nami sha, grabe ang effects.” (It’s good, the effects were great)

My stepdad was eating his salad as he was paying attention to what we were saying. We were all shy to tell him but my mom told him instead.

Every time someone spoke to my step dad, my mom would clarify it or she would just tell him since she’s more comfortable to talk to him than us.

“They saw a movie and it’s called…”

“The Hunger Games”

Our words clashed as we said it.

“What was it about?” He asked.

“Uhmmm”

We all looked at each other and said, “Budlay eh explain.” (It’s hard to explain it)

“Jhila (cousin), ikaw explain ah!” (Jhila, you explain it!) My sister announced.

“Ahay indi ko ya! Kamo da ya!” (Oh no, I don’t want to! You guys do it!) Jhila insisted.

Our voices were over each other and we’ve had enough giggling and pinpointing. We didn’t explain the movie until Jhila did bravely.

“There are districts in the place and they have to fight to each other. Katniss Everdeen volunteered to join the fight and she almost died because there are like buffaloes chasing her and the guy…”

“...they’re going to eat them and they went up the car and they’re waiting down the car and the dogs or buffaloes were chasing them.”

“Ahhh,” he nods and was puzzled by the explanation.

“So, they were fighting against the buffaloes?” He questioned.

We were as confused as him and started cracking up. We gave up and mumbled that it was very hard to explain the movie.

“Was it a good movie?” He continued.

“Yeah.” We grinned.

We were more comfortable with our step dad but we weren't comfortable in speaking using a language we hardly use. He visited the Philippines once in awhile but, sometimes he’s with my mom. As a matter of fact, we only see him if he’s visiting which doesn’t happen constantly. Around summer in 2012, my mom and stepdad both decided that my sister and I are migrating to the U.S. In November of 2012, my sister and I migrated with our mom and step dad. We came right in time for Thanksgiving in San Francisco which means, we would celebrate Thanksgiving with my stepdad’s family.

My sister and I met our step dad’s side of the family for the first time before Thanksgiving. Their kindness soothed us from feeling anxious. We didn’t know what’s in store for us in the U.S and we were worried about them asking us questions and us responding in English. Luckily, we spoke but my sister and I were too self-conscious about our English. We were shy but I’m glad that they made us feel comfortable and made us feel like we were apart of their family. We may not impress them through words, but we certainly felt their fondness towards us because my sister and I gave them the respect and kindness they needed.

Mark Twain once said, “Actions speak louder than words.” He is saying that what you say doesn’t matter, but, what matters is how you act towards someone or something. I believe in this saying because my sister and I didn’t communicate much to our step dad but, we understood each other through our actions; not enough words were said and expressed but our actions said it all. Looking back at my experience makes me realize that words don’t really matter, but, your actions matter the most.




Comments (5)

Tajnia Hussain (Student 2018)
Tajnia Hussain

The big understanding that I got out of your piece is that the words you speak don't matter but mostly the actions. I learned about your migration to America and how you speak llonggo. I liked how you expressed your relationship with you step dad and how you mentioned multiple examples on how your actions affected you.

Destiny Patton (Student 2018)
Destiny Patton

I'm really glad that I read your story because I learned more about how you migrated to America. I really liked how you went in depth of the differences between you and your step father. The big understanding that I got was that even though language was a small barrier, you overcame it and, when you can't use your words, use a smile.

Paul-Ann Whyte (Student 2018)
Paul-Ann Whyte

1.) I learned that Jhazzelle has a step dad and is surprisingly shy. 2.) The big understanding that I got form Jhazzelle is that speaking in a language that is not your own can be very scary. Another big understanding I got was that learning a new language is very difficult and takes a while to adjust 3.) I liked that Jhazzelle included the llongo dialect and even out in translations so we knew what she was saying.

Madison Militello (Student 2018)
Madison Militello

The "big understanding" that I recieved form this was that you don't always need to verbally communicate with someone to understand them. Sometimes, actions are more important than what a person can say or do. Words don't mean anything unless you put them into effect. I liked how this essay touched on your past and how it shaped how you are today.

Menduyarka Dennis (Student 2018)
Menduyarka Dennis

Jhazzelle, you're apparently more shy than I would've expected. I think that your reaction towards your stepdad was definitely one that most people have when they meet someone new, who is gonna be a part of your family now,. It's scary.

I think what you realize now is that even if you're not talking to him directly, you and your stepdad have been communicating all this time through the encounters and actions that you both have with one another.

I definitely liked the language in your story. I was conflicted with putting different languages in my story, so I decided to not do that. But you definitely made it work, and you we're brave enough to share some of your own knowledge of "Llongo" dialect. Nice job.