Trapped in red

In chapter 18 of The Handmaid’s Tale, he feels alone and lonely. She is losing herself emotionally, physically, and mentally, her thoughts of Luke and losing people, say a lot about how I wanted to craft this portrait. I drew this portrait of her alone in a room, holding her belly. I used red and dark colors to come out as in this aspect because I think of this scene as sad and intense. The scene had to be offered. I wanted to show and be clear that she is a handmaid, so I made her in red. As she is forced to wear that color, this also shows everything that she is going through, the loneliness, the grief, and despair she feels from Luke.

The quote I want to surround my artwork is “ But this is wrong, nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s the lack of love we die from. There’s nobody here I can love, all the people I could love are dead or elsewhere.” I chose this quote because it shows how Offred is losing herself within the book. She is losing any type of love she once had. Between her daughter coming into an empty, lonely world, and not having a father figure. And losing the love of her life while still trying to dream up scenarios of them together.

When she said it’s a lack of love and everyone she could love, I thought about how I would be if I lost my mom or if I were trying to raise a child alone. I feel for her as she says this. It moved me. She is pregnant, and she was ripped off a loving, bright pregnancy, but instead, she is facing the cold, shut-out world. She is cut off from anyone she could love or trust in the world. In the book, we see a lot of hope and despair, and as I read this chapter, all I could think about is how she is in survival mode. But this is also connected to her growing up as a child and how she had freedom, and all the lost memories of her childhood. This is why I drew this scene like this, because I thought the quiet pen could drop and you would hear it. To the surrounding noise in her head, giving her hope.

This is why I drew black shading around her looking out a window in the rain. This symbolizes the environmental state of Gilead as to why she is trapped. Not just emotionally but physically, she is trapped as well. She can’t express herself or get a really good connection. I drew her by herself because I wanted to emphasize the isolation. I wanted her head down, looking to try not to cry from the weight she is carrying right now.

One of the big takeaways that I thought about from this book was that it offered me to face this alone. She still is huma,n and she has feelings. She is in a society that does not really support women; they just want to use their bodies. She is not just being used for her body, but she is fighting inner battles with herself that are killing her. This is all while carrying a child, so she needs more support than ever. That’s why I drew her baby, and she is just holding on to the last thing she loves and cares about. The one thing that’s keeping her sane.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18g6dCSJQ4zzYeJMfcgymluc5Xsq3nP4vsEE_LGG5ooU/edit?usp=sharing