Really great writing! The description is well balanced with the main character's train of thought, and the last couple sentences of each entry give the character a sense of momentum and make the gaps between entries seamless. Really great job.
You went somewhere meaningful with the piece both literally and figuratively. Ending on the moment with Grandma's letter — "she wanted me home" was the right spot to pause. Ultimately this feels like the first half of a story, think about whether you want to continue to the second half in the next quarter.
This is really interesting I don't think I have seen anyone else do a journal entry like this for their project. The way you include both descriptive writing and the character's thoughts is amazing.
I can gain a sense of how small-town life and the monotony of it. I can resonate with the main character's need to have more from life while she reflects on why her home can't give her what she needs.
I loved this Marly!!
I think your character's voice really made this piece unique and fun to read, and I think you did a really good job with that, especially at the beginning.
I also loved how you centered the setting in the story, making them part of the storyline and describing them so vividly and beautifully..
You also had some really amazing lines that were so beautiful and hit hard. Great job!
Comments (7)
Log in to post a comment.