How Love Has Been For Me
Love used to be a weird concept to me. I never understood how, in the movies and stories, people could find this perfect person for them, that they would have no issues and live a lavish life until they died. It just felt too unrealistic and untangleable. It made me think that maybe I wouldn’t find my person. I felt that I was just too much and that no one would want that. I would be too loud or too pushy. I felt like I was just an unbalanced person, and no one would want that. In The Handmaid’s Tale, love is a topic that is brought up throughout the story. “We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely.” (pg 225) Offred tells us how people used to think about falling in love. When she mentioned how unlikely it was, it reminded me of how I thought. I thought of falling in love as something that would happen and would be hard to achieve. Offred and I had different views, though. She believed in it, and I had no faith. It shows how love can be shown to people, impacting their views of it.
How I have seen love in the media also didn’t help me. Once I had gotten access to the internet, it showed me a different side. I showed me how women would feel and do when they fell in love. “We were revisionist; what we revised was ourselves.” (pg 227) Similar to into the book, women would change themselves. In the book, the way that Offred said this felt like it was something that had to happen. It was a basic thing to do, and I feel like that is similar to the real world. It isn’t as common as it used to be, but there are still people who change who they are for the person they have fallen for. Being shown this in shows and movies doesn’t help. We see how it made it a common thing to be done in the book, and we see how it is in the real world. With the internet, it also showed me how much people would worry about things once they were in a relationship. “Likely you would think at these times: What if he doesn’t love me?” (pg 226) The amount of worry people have is something that will linger on for years. People will always worry about whether their partner is loyal to them or not. In the book, Offred shows us how these thoughts might manifest and, in a way, how it can impact you. I think that I will experience this. It is something that almost everyone will. The thought of whether they still want you and what they might do if not will always exist. In some way, I can say I relate to it now. I have had my doubts in whether or not my partner still loves me. It is an overwhelming feeling. You don’t know what to do with this. If they don’t, how can you confirm this? You don’t want to ask them straight forward, as it can show that you doubt them and hurt them. I just didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. I know for sure that the thoughts that Offred showed us will always exist in people, even in me.
With the older that I have gotten, I have started to see love in a different light. I have finally seen the relationships around and saw that they had inperfections. I have even been in one myself. No relationship is going to be perfect. There will be problems and issues, but that is human. Being imperfect is normal. What I have also seen is that not everyone will have just one love in their life. You can love one person at one time and then another later. “Luke was not the first man for me, and he might not have been the last.” (pg 227) Offred says how she wonders if she would have fallen in love again. If Luke was her last love. In the real world, people do exactly what she was thinking. People often don’t end up with their first love. They can have two, three, four, I could go on and on. It is just natural to fall in and out of love. You will eventually find that one you will love for the rest of your life, but it may take time. I know that it is a process that will take its time with me.
Love has changed for me over the years. Once something I thought wouldn’t happen to me did. I had gotten to fallen in love and figured out how it felt. Love is something that can come in many forms. To some, love is family and friends, and to others, it is the one they think will be with them forever. Now knowing how love is to me, I know that I will fall in love again and again, until I find the one. Like Offred, I will have the wonder if the person I am going to be with is the last. But unlike her, I will hope that this is the one.
