A Glimpse of a Troubled Sister

“CALL 911, PAYTON CALL 911…”

immediately I grabbed the phone, shaking with fear. I was hoping I wasn’t too late.

“Is she going to make it, God please help her.”

I stared at my  sister lying on the floor. I knew it was getting bad but I never thought I about losing her, I fought with all my might to stay strong for my mother.

A year earlier, I was fourteen. I had just gotten a job working at a summer camp, being a counselor. My sister was acting really strange. I went into her room to grab my shoes she had borrowed. Then I saw her sitting, staring, her eyes were red and low. I was at a loss. I grabbed my shoes and said “ I’m going to Target, do you need anything?”

It was around 6:00 on a Tuesday, why was she acting so weird. After a long pause of me staring at her she said “nah”.

I went to tell my mom, my mom just sort of tried to change the topic every other word I said. I didn’t know what was going on.

After a long month of odd behavior from my sister, I came home from work to a broken basement window, our chairs on our payment upside down. It almost looked like our house was broken into, I ran in. My mom said “Payt, we have to talk..”

I knew this meant something went wrong. She eyes were filled were tears, her was shaky. She said “your sister isn’t allowed here anymore!”

my heart felt like it was in my stomach, “She’s is on drugs and is choosing her own path”

Tears now rushing down my mom’s and my face. “All we can do is hope she gets better soon.”

I was at a loss of words what was I to do without my best friend, my sister, my personal hairdresser, my sister…

My sister would come to the house time after time, trying to get in and “have somewhere to sleep”. It came to a point where I even wanted nothing to do with her. I went to classes on the drugs and I did research, I did some much research just to try to understand why would she pick the drugs over her family. I didn’t understand. Day after day ever siren my mom and I heard our stomachs turned. I finally hit a point where I felt like just giving up on her. She went to so many rehabs and not one seemed to work.

I would come home and my sister would be walking around with an attitude that you just knew she wasn’t right. Thinking about it actually still makes my stomach turn. One day I had came home and heard my mom screaming before I even entered the house. I nervously went through my bag to find my key. I now feel sick, as I turn the knob to open the door I see my sister lying on the ground and my mom screaming, “CALL 911!”

I walked in and saw my sister just laying there. I picked up my phone so fast to quickly dial 911. My eyes filled up with tears as I told the operator please get an ambulance please, I think my sister is overdosing. PLEASE HELP HER!”.

When I got off the phone all I saw was the fear in my mother’s eyes, the anxiety that her first daughter’s life was in jeopardy. There was absolutely nothing I could do, the feeling of my heart sinking in my body came again. Not be able to know what would happen next my mom said as tears rolled down her face, “Payton, please go to mom moms until she is gone, I can’t let you see all of this..”

I listened because I knew my mom couldn’t possibly take anything else.

January 11th, 2017, I will never forget this day. The day arrested. Some may say it was the worst, and I’ll admit it was hard but it taught my whole family so much. As a family we went threw so much growth, and for that I am thankful. The world of drugs runs deep, it’s a world I never actually wish to live in. Once you’re in the world of drugs your brain is controlled and it takes everything in you to put away from it. My lesson out of this was that to never take anyone you care about or yours life for granted. This world is a scary place and you never truly know what will happen next all you can do is keep your head your head held high and keep pushing. I never know if my sister will forever be clean but I sure do hope so.