Fear is an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.  When fear comes into play, its strength can affect a person’s willingness to take risks, our choice to pursue the unknown, or even their ability to accomplish a goal. In Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the schoolboys who are stranded on the island have a fear of not being able to survive without any adults in a new society empty of order and rules. The fear that builds within each of the boys makes them hallucinate and believe a “beast” exists, which is a projection of the their combined fear. This terror motivates the young boys to try their hardest to survive, but, amidst overcoming their fears, their panic overwhelms their ability to make rational decisions.

In the beginning of Lord of the Flies, in fear of having no adults, the boys decide to select a leader from their group. When Ralph becomes leader, he chooses to make a group of hunters. His choice to divide and conquer is in reaction to his yearning for rescue from the island and survival. Ralph pushes through all his fears of the unknown because he, like the other boys, wishes to survive. He masks his fear with his strength to make the boys believe that everyone will overcome their isolation on the island. “That was nightmare,’ said Ralph. ‘He was walking in his sleep.” (85) In this quote Ralph is acting like he is not feared by the horror nightmare that all the boys silenced because of how the vivid dream terrified them. The boys were scared while Ralph acting like he didn’t care at all. To motivate himself as leader, he had to show all bravery and that nothing phased him. In order to show why he is leader, he must overcome his own mind. If the other boys saw him scared, he would have no order or followers.

An example of this behavior also took place when the Cold War happened. The Cold War was a war used to end international affairs. This was right after the World War II. A senator named Joseph McCarthy, he made the citizens feel discomfort. This is a connection to the book because the boys felt discomfort and were terrified and McCarthy made the people of America feared. The people were in fear of something that they weren’t even sure was that real, they were scared of the discomfort of the new senator, the war, the way things were being handled. This related to the book because the books feared everything of being alone without any adults and the leadership they were under was just someone who knew not much more than them and they had no control. This also relates to the idea of power and civilization. Over all, the presence of fear impacts or overpowers human beings’ ability to make decisions and find comfort in encountering the unknown.

In the novel, Jack, of the boys stuck on the island, was a kid who tried to overthrow Ralph for his power of the leader. Jack is power hungry and tries to get the boys to abandon Ralph. Jack calls for a meeting, and he tells everyone that there is a beast. Ralph doesn’t know what to say so Jack suggests that the boys come with him. He creates a hierarchy by gathering his new group and just naming himself the leader. “Henry brought him a shell and he drank, watching Piggy and Ralph over the jagged rim. Power lay in the brown swell of his forearms: authority sat on his shoulder and chattered in his ear like an ape.” To avoid any problem or life threats, the younger boys bowed to Jack’s needs. The beast was the first thing they all shared, as Jack became more violent, he was the new chief. In a way, he was becoming the very monster they once ran from. He was no longer just a 12 year old boy, he was the ruler of fear.

In conclusion, the feeling of fear has ability to be the controlling or the controlled. There is fear in every one of the boys’ hearts. They have been torn of their innocence, and rational mentality becomes the irrational. When approached with a life threatening experience, it makes people motivated to do whatever is possible to survive. Survival at all cost, even if it means savagery and loss of order.

*Gets home*

Oh yeah Ms. Smith said my grade would be in by now lets see. *Pulls out computer and starts checking grade* Wait What? No. A 40%.Oh no how am I supposed to bring this grade up. Why do I try so hard and I always do so bad…. Why??? My mom is going to kill me. Nothing ever goes right for me anymore.

Nothing goes right for anything I do at all. Why am I constantly feeling like I can’t catch a break? Why now out of nowhere does everything go bad? I’m going to fail this quarter now.  I’m supposed to be the one who goes to school and gets good grades. Everyone expects so much of me and I feel like they’ll see this and they will be disappointed. This is too much stress and I feel like I’m dropping the ball. Why can’t things just work out for me?

My mom and dad expect me to be so smart and organized and have everything handled but it’s so hard. I can never just get everything in on time. I try so hard to stay on top of the work but it’s like I miss so much and I don’t even know how to do this. I don’t want to ask for help because then people will think I’m not on top of things.

But I have goals and I gotta be strong. I have much to dwell on but I am going to get nowhere worrying about what happened in the past or what people have to think. I have to go to school and get good grades but I will do good. I will go to college to become successful. This is a lot to juggle all the time everyday but I will be able to do it. I realized that the more and more I go through this that it’s hard but it also makes me stronger and stronger, mentally and physically. Over the course of 2017 my mind is so much further than it was.

“CALL 911, PAYTON CALL 911…”

immediately I grabbed the phone, shaking with fear. I was hoping I wasn’t too late.

“Is she going to make it, God please help her.”

I stared at my  sister lying on the floor. I knew it was getting bad but I never thought I about losing her, I fought with all my might to stay strong for my mother.

A year earlier, I was fourteen. I had just gotten a job working at a summer camp, being a counselor. My sister was acting really strange. I went into her room to grab my shoes she had borrowed. Then I saw her sitting, staring, her eyes were red and low. I was at a loss. I grabbed my shoes and said “ I’m going to Target, do you need anything?”

It was around 6:00 on a Tuesday, why was she acting so weird. After a long pause of me staring at her she said “nah”.

I went to tell my mom, my mom just sort of tried to change the topic every other word I said. I didn’t know what was going on.

After a long month of odd behavior from my sister, I came home from work to a broken basement window, our chairs on our payment upside down. It almost looked like our house was broken into, I ran in. My mom said “Payt, we have to talk..”

I knew this meant something went wrong. She eyes were filled were tears, her was shaky. She said “your sister isn’t allowed here anymore!”

my heart felt like it was in my stomach, “She’s is on drugs and is choosing her own path”

Tears now rushing down my mom’s and my face. “All we can do is hope she gets better soon.”

I was at a loss of words what was I to do without my best friend, my sister, my personal hairdresser, my sister…

My sister would come to the house time after time, trying to get in and “have somewhere to sleep”. It came to a point where I even wanted nothing to do with her. I went to classes on the drugs and I did research, I did some much research just to try to understand why would she pick the drugs over her family. I didn’t understand. Day after day ever siren my mom and I heard our stomachs turned. I finally hit a point where I felt like just giving up on her. She went to so many rehabs and not one seemed to work.

I would come home and my sister would be walking around with an attitude that you just knew she wasn’t right. Thinking about it actually still makes my stomach turn. One day I had came home and heard my mom screaming before I even entered the house. I nervously went through my bag to find my key. I now feel sick, as I turn the knob to open the door I see my sister lying on the ground and my mom screaming, “CALL 911!”

I walked in and saw my sister just laying there. I picked up my phone so fast to quickly dial 911. My eyes filled up with tears as I told the operator please get an ambulance please, I think my sister is overdosing. PLEASE HELP HER!”.

When I got off the phone all I saw was the fear in my mother’s eyes, the anxiety that her first daughter’s life was in jeopardy. There was absolutely nothing I could do, the feeling of my heart sinking in my body came again. Not be able to know what would happen next my mom said as tears rolled down her face, “Payton, please go to mom moms until she is gone, I can’t let you see all of this..”

I listened because I knew my mom couldn’t possibly take anything else.

January 11th, 2017, I will never forget this day. The day arrested. Some may say it was the worst, and I’ll admit it was hard but it taught my whole family so much. As a family we went threw so much growth, and for that I am thankful. The world of drugs runs deep, it’s a world I never actually wish to live in. Once you’re in the world of drugs your brain is controlled and it takes everything in you to put away from it. My lesson out of this was that to never take anyone you care about or yours life for granted. This world is a scary place and you never truly know what will happen next all you can do is keep your head your head held high and keep pushing. I never know if my sister will forever be clean but I sure do hope so.

Attempts to Help the Public Defender System

Hello, my name is Payton McQuilkin. Recently in my English 1 class we have been doing a project on an issue in the world that we are passionate about. I choose to draw attention to how overworked a public defender is. Throughout my first blog post I realized so much more about the actual job of public defenders. I found that they have tons of cases and get more and more everyday. They have such little time to even talk with a client before appearing in front of the judge, and unfortunately in some cases, no time. In my second blog post I talked about how I did some original research. By this, I emailed an actual public defender in Brooklyn. In this interview I got a closer look in on the system. I was able to tell his goals, such as being able to get the court to see the clients as people not just criminals, and more about the job and know it was correct. I also interviewed my sister, Taylor Rogers. She had an experience with a public defender I thought she’d also be a good source.

Public defenders aren't a big topic in the world and no one really draws attention to how overworked the public defender's can get. The system is quite out of control. Especially in Louisiana, the public defenders are so overworked. Their pay is based off the traffic tickets and fines. My opinion is that people need to start standing up for the issue. So many people are affected everyday and nothing is happening. People need to take a stand and getting the information out there. Hopefully informing people will raise attention. Drawing attention will then raise awareness. The more people you have behind you supporting you will help. This is me working on my blog post!!

For this portion of the project we had to put our effort in to make a change to the issue we chose. My agent of change was putting the information out there. I created a website with the facts on how much a public defender actually does. I thought this was important because it gives more people the information they were unaware of. I raise attention to the website by showing my peers, family, and friends. I think informing people on the issue was helpful because if their ever in the need of a public defender they are now familiar with the system, they know more about and hopefully some people will have a passion to help raise awareness and get this system turned around. This is my website.

Throughout my project I had a lot of fun. I enjoyed informing people on how important this is to me. I shared a touching story, that was personal and I think showing how much it meant to me was special. I learned a better understanding of the system and it answered some questions I had with my experience. I learned the true facts of a public defender. It was also really amazing to hear what others were passionate about and learn further into their topics. People did touching topics also and it was interesting to see each one. I appreciate this project because it helped me a lot in so many ways. I am going through a lot with the system now and learning more about everything, educating myself to better understanding what would happen with my sister was spectacular. I think there is still much to be further done with the overworked public defenders, because giving the information across is only half the battle. I think once the courts start taking it in consideration and the system needs help. Of course I can’t fix it all, baby steps help!

Throughout this project learning about the different things a public defender goes through is amazing. I really put my all into the blog posts and put all my thoughts in them. The experiences I had is something I will never forget. This project gave the chance to gain information to  case of my very own sister and helped my understanding of where my sister is and what happened during her case. Here is my annotated bibliography of the sources I used throughout my project.

Hello, my name is Payton McQuilkin. I go to Science Leadership Academy High School.  One of my classes I take is art, in this class we went through a printmaking project. We connected this project with biochem by making a periodic table. We were each given a element and had to make a creative design. I was given Phosphorous, atomic number- 15. Phosphorus was the first to have a history on how it was discovered. You can find phosphorus in the tip of a match, also in fireworks. The process we did was: we made a design, then we traced it on tracing paper, after traced that on a plate, then after we made the trace on the plate we rolled color paint on the plate and printed the finals out. I would probably trace better if I did this again. I enjoyed rolled the color on my print and printing it. I t was exciting and I enjoyed it a lot.

E1 U5

Payton McQuilkin

Soy yo

La hija de madre e padre

Los padres estar separdo

La madre el niño la hermana e el hermano

Veo el abuelo vacaciones casa

Saboreo la abuela cena

Huelo la madres galletas

Oigo el padre gritante

Toco la hermana ropa

Vengo desde Filadelfia

Me gusta comer

Me gusta ir de compras con mi familia

Me gusta escuchar música

Somos producto Filadelfia

Somos irlandesa

Vivimos en America

Public Defenders Overloaded

I have recently realized the public defender system first hand. Realizing how big of an issue it is, I decided to inform the people of how big of problem it is with this project. I found out that the problem is affective to the people who can’t afford an expensive attorney. I was stunned to find out the average time a person talks with their public defender before appearing in front of the judge is 7 minutes. This information is listed in a document, you can read here.

Throughout a year a public defender is recommend to get 150 felony cases, but they are getting way more.  Even if they had enough time to get the cases done, they don’t have the same resources the private attorneys do. People don’t realize how public defenders are deprived of resources such as time for working as hard as they could and witnesses. The public defender system is never the same in different states. Each state is entitled to write their own criminal codes. This could also hurt the person under precaution.

I interviewed a public defender, Michael Arthus. He happens to be a very experienced public defender who gave meaningful first hand information, letting me in on a closer look for the system. There are public defenders who handle the trails and public defenders who are handling appeals. Those who handle the trails will normally be in the courtroom everyday appearing in front of the judge with their clients. Those who do the appeals are mostly sent for research. In Brooklyn, which in every state is different, are given 75-100 cases at a time to juggle. Mr. Arthus says that throughout all his odds he still fights his hardest for the justice for his clients.  

This is a picture of a Brooklyn Defender System Logo...

I also interviewed Taylor Rogers. Taylor, who is my sister, had her case in the hands of a public defender recently. She said that she didn’t even know who her public defender was until day of the court date. Her public defender talked to her 20 minutes before appearing in front of the judge. She does feel as though her public defender did her more justice then she could’ve done. The public defender was “kind” just very busy and rushing when you are having conversations. She feels as though he put forth his best effort and did everything he could.

This picture is a public defender. He is working hard to get his many cases done.

Throughout this project I realized how different each state’s public defender offices are. As I read this article, “I’m a public defender. It’s impossible for me to do a good job representing my clients.”, I found that in New Orleans to avoid layoffs because of the budget cut the entire staff will go 4 weeks in a year without being paid. They’re asked to do way more then an attorney with less material and less everything compared to an attorney. The author of this site says that their clients who can’t pay their bail are focused to sit in jail for 60 days until the district attorney decides to arraign them. During this project we have a part where we need to be an agent of change in our issue we choose. Iḿ thinking about making a website for informing people on how overly overworked the public defenders are. This will be first hand information and give people more notice to the issue and hopefully get the ball rolling on the issue.

This problem among the public defender hasn’t seemed to get any better, it just seems to worsen. What will come next??? Public defenders are going to not be able to deal with the impact of the case overloads as time continues. This research has helped my understanding of public defender so much further than what I thought. I really hope so see some justice among the system, even baby steps help!! I’ve learned that in the justice system money can take you a long way..

Visit my annotated bibliography here!

Negative space is the space around the subject. The space around the space of the subject/ like the background.I found the negative space but finding the subject which was the bird in the middle so the space around the is the space I had to cut out. It helps seeing the negative space makes the subject of the whole image stand out. In my eyes seeing the negative space enhances the drawing. This is because seeing the background makes the subject stand out.  

In this process I struggled. I had a hard time understanding what to cut and what to glue. In the end product I guess I can say I finish better than I thought I would. This stamp represents me because I would describe myself as a skinny, imperfect, and delicate person. When brainstorming I used words such as; unique, imperfect, pretty, intelligent, etc.

Overworked Public Defenders

Hello, my name is Payton McQuilkin. This project I am working on is named “You & The World Project”. In this project we are opened to find something in the world that we, the freshmen, feel as though is an issues that needs attention. My topic I’ve chosen is the public defenders in the United States are doing people no justice due to the overload of work they have everyday.  In court people who have little income and don’t have enough money for an attorney are given a public defender in replacement. An attorney, which costs a pretty penny, has much time to investigate and prepare for their client. The public defender will just meet their client when arriving in the courtroom. Multiple studies shows that in the United States, the public defenders are overworked, often underpaid, and not given enough to defend a client.

The whole public defender system started in January 1962, when a man in Florida received 5 years in prison for representing himself. He stole some beer, change, and cokes. Now there is a required “defense attorney” for a client who can not afford an attorney. The public defenders defend any type of cases which can be; felonies, misdemeanors, juvenile, and appeals. When arriving in the courtroom they meet their clients each day. Every day they get a load of cases. Doesn’t that seem hard to keep track of? Even if the public defender was to try to turn down another case to handle, they aren’t allowed. Many states do not allow any public defenders to deny any cases. This picture is from the show called, “60 Minutes”. This episode shows the public defenders. http://www.cbsnews.com/news/inside-new-orleans-public-defenders-decision-to-refuse-felony-cases/

This is a link to watch is you would like!!

Normally because public defenders are so overloaded with the cases they are given, they end up encouraging the client to admit they’re guilty to get rid of the case. This seems pretty unfair to those clients, they are in a time of need of someone to help them. They need someone who cares about their case but all they're worried about is to get rid of their case. The percentage of cases with public defenders are 47%, while the assigned attorney is 12%.  The estimated time a public defender has with a client before appearing in front of the judge is 7 minutes. The public defender is said to work on a case for less than an hour. This shows how little the effort is for the client.  This shows how a public defender is not ready to defend their client. They have no time to look into the case to see if the client is actually guilty or innocent. This picture shows that on different types of cases, the public defender's does not get the time they need to defend their client properly.

I choose this topic because of my first experience with a public defender. My sister, who is in jail, doesn’t have enough money for an attorney, so received a public defender in replacement. My sister landed herself in jail for a year for having drugs on her. I think this is unfair not only because she’s my sister, but because she didn’t have the proper defense on her side. People who commit much more violent crimes get out faster than my sister who committed a nonviolent crime. I wanted to do this because before I had my first experience, I paid no mind to how unfair the justice system can be. I think this is relevant and it affects so many people in the world and this can’t go on forever because it’s unfair! The overload of cases on a public defender’s plate needs to come to an end.

The issue of the public defender's doesn’t stand out much if you don’t experience it. My hopes in this is to help people understand that the way the public defenders are being worked and the clients are suffering. I’ve learned how the system started and actual statics of the public defenders. I hope to find out the estimated cost of an attorney and the impact on the people in jail because their public defenders did them no justice.

You can go to my document on the websites I used here...

Printmaking is a type of art, which you transfer an image on a paper from a carved wood, metal, stone, or screen. There is different types of printmaking such as relief, intaglio, etc. Printmaking is important to the artist because it isn’t normal art. This art is made by transferring it to make a print. Printmaking apparently started after paper was made in China around AD 105. Printmaking had a its most success in the 18th century in France.

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/printmaking/

Lee Stevenson- Night Tide. Lino & Woodcut

This print is interesting to me because this seems like it’d take so much patience. I wonder how long it took. I noticed the detail in this is incredible. I love looking at oceans at night and the way this is done is what it actually looks like, which is a realistic sense portrayed. It’s very well done. The contrast of the dark brown and light blue works well together. The lines are pointing my eyes towards the right upper corner of the art.

1. All the sources in my network is my three routers are both linked to different things in my house. There is one that controls the the laptop, the printer, and my dad’s phone. The other one is for my brother’s xbox 360, my brother’s xbox one, and our tv. We also have another one which contains my iphone, my moms phone and my brothers.

2. I have learned how to submit things more thoroughly and how to use the lucidchart.

3. I would tell them to place their routers at the highest point in the house because the internet falls falls down, it doesn't go up as easy as it does down.