Advanced Essay #1 (The Masterpiece of my Life)

Hayley Barci September 14th, 2016 The masterpiece of my life: It was a fair-weather day, the sun rays shimmering between the falling leaves of the trees, standing tall throughout the park. The fresh smell of the air inhaling, and exhaling through my nostrils. The bright, white piece of paper, with lines, circles, and different kinds of shapes. The start of a new drawing, staring me in the eyes, speaking it’s own words of wonders, wondering how I should finish this masterpiece. My mother spoke,”It is a beautiful piece you have created, my dear.” Expanding my mind into all the geographic shapes, I could possibly think of. I, as a woman, thought of the hourglass shape, that every possible woman has. Thinking to myself,”maybe……..just maybe, I could put that idea into my piece. Somehow I could tell the story of my experiences through my sophisticated, yet simple drawing. My pencil began making wonders, from tear drops, to flowers. From skies to waters, and sights never seen. The tears of hope streaming down my face, within the past and present experiences. This is was a moment of hope and joy. The love and passion I had put into this piece, reflects all of the challenges and fears I had to face throughout my life. I was always focused on the destination, instead of the journey. I then, gained that faith that pushes me through all of the challenges I face.

As I began to get distracted through the nature that surrounds my body and soul, I decided, I want to capture these beautiful views. I then slipped out my camera out of my bag, began to capture the memories seen through my own eyes. My mother looked over my shoulder, then spoke,”What beautiful pictures you’ve taken”, I replied,”sure”. Not believing any comments that have come my way. Unsure of whether or not they’re true or not. Not realizing the true meaning of loving myself, and self care.

Reminding me of the day, My whole world was flipped upside down. It was the beginning of my freshman year of highschool, I was petrified, and afraid of myself. I’m in tears, staring down at the shimmering light, reflected on the knife, lying in the palm of my hand. Thinking that the whole world is against me, I began slowly facing the knife towards my chest. Until, I hear the soft, fearful voice,”Hayley, please, put, the knife, down. I turn my head towards the right. I can see the fear within her eyes, and the shakiness within her fingers. Blaming myself for what I had just done. My mind speaking,”It’s all your fault, your mother now hates you for what you have done to her.” I’m fighting with everything i’ve got in order to make it through these challenges, but I could never succeed. At least I thought I couldn’t.Within the next day, I ended up in the hospital, or better yet, hospitalized. I was hospitalized five different times within two years. While I was inpatient, I would color, draw, and do many things that made happy, and made me feel good inside. It didn’t really matter what other people think, as a long as it makes you happy.

Through my art, I was able to realize that life wasn’t just a terrifying dream, I was able to realize that these journeys are priceless, that it’s the journey that matters, not the destination. My strength grows every single day, I believe in myself more, as I go. Art is my reflection of those challenges, and journeys that come my way. I’m in control of my life now, and not one soul can change that, nor bring me down, because here’s one thing for sure, I will, get back up. I’ve learned to not care about what other people think of me, i’ve learned about my own self-care. You shouldn’t care about what other people think of you, their opinion is not important, only your own opinions matter. Just because you have self care doesn’t mean that you’re a selfish person. It just means that you are expanding yourself and your own being. I myself was bullied for eight years straight, after all of those years of being beaten down, I found my strength within art. Within all of the colors, and the geographic shapes. Lost within all of the wondrous words to describe the masterpiece, of my life.