Advanced Essay #1 - Exhausted

Introduction:

The goal for this essay is to talk about how it better to do a few extracurriculars than so many at once. I explain how it can be stressful, the negative effect of doing so many at once, and why it not easy to just stop doing an extracurricular. I am proud of linking two completely different descriptive scenes and finding a common theme to flesh it out into a bigger idea. What I want to improve for my writing process and technique for my next paper is to not overdo the descriptive language. I felt like I added too much unnecessary detail to describe what I am feeling and the setting around me. Also I felt like the transition from my scene to my big idea was unsmooth. I need to work out on a smooth transition

Advance Essay #1:

It was a cool Monday afternoon as I quickly walked up out of the ill-light subway station. I started my journey home from school. The gentle wind blows against my face as I walked down the street. I was alone with my calm, relaxing music while I thought about what I had to do to prepare for tomorrow. I sighed to myself as I realize how much I had to for school additionally with weekend homework I had.

I try to pace myself faster as I walk down the street but my legs felt tight and exhausted from practice. Spriting five laps around the school building took an enormous amount of energy. With the addition of frisbee practice in the morning, all I can think about was sleep. I slowly approach the front of my house, fumble around for my keys, and open the door.

I slowly stomped my way up the stairs and into my room. I threw my bookbag down as I collapsed onto my bed. The softness of my bed made my heart slowly beat now as I started to feel relaxed. I reach into my pocket to grab my phone. I started to play some chill, nice, quiet music. As the sound of music flows into my room. I lay in bed with my thoughts and slowly my eyes become heavy. My vision started to blur and darken and my hearing slowly faded away. There laying in bed, I fell asleep. It was the most relaxed I felt all day.

Ever since my junior year of high school has started, I’ve never been more excited to see my bed after school during my high school career. I am in cross country, students run practice and ultimate frisbee. With all of these activities, a regular day can range from 5:30 am - 6:30 pm. I never really minded the long days when I was in my freshman-sophomore year as the workload was pretty average. I believed I could keep this up for my whole high school career being involved with a lot of physical activities along with my education. I was pretty good at time management so I did not see it as an issue to me. I am a good student who rarely does badly in class after all. I decided to do the three sports.

As I got home from school, I was in my room and I started to reflect on an obvious problem I began to notice throughout the school year last year. My sleeping schedule was messed up. I had only gotten 5-6 hours of sleep every day. During benchmark season it is even less. Doing homework, concentrating, and listening to directions became harder and harder each day. I can recall a day when I almost fell asleep in class.

I remember it was late afternoon when I sat in history class learning about the different empires throughout history. Everyone was quiet and all eyes were on Mr.Todd as he gave his boring lecture about empires. I had a hard time paying attention. My eyes felt heavy as I tried to pay attention to Mr. Todd. I rolled my head around and shook it everytime my vision started to blur and my hearing began to fade away. All because of last night.

I was up all night working on my Algebra 2 benchmark. I was already exhausted coming home at 6 o’clock from physical activities. My desk was like a war zone, papers everywhere, scattered around. Directions for benchmarks and worksheets from all my classes covered my desk. On my computer, numerous tabs were open from google docs to my sources, to spreadsheets filled with numbers as I put in my final touches for my Algebra 2 benchmark. My head started to spin and I could feel the exhaustion taking over my body. It wasn’t until 12 that I decided to submit it and call it “my best work.” I lay on my bed and instantly fell asleep.

I began to realize that I had a clear problem. I realized that the overwhelming amount of stress and exhaustion were taking a toll on me physically and mentally. The lack of sleep I been having was affecting my performance in school. Although I was able to complete things on time without a problem, it negatively impacted me by being tired throughout the day. It caused me to miss things that were said in class and not pay attention much of what was going on. This also affected my social life. While being exhausted, I felt miserable and unhappy. This caused me to have mood swings. The littlest thing can bother me so much and make to get angry. I would often have short outbursts at home and even at school for unnecessary and silly reasons. The stress and exhaustion were getting in my way in having a successful and happy career in high school.

It was not only that stress and lack of sleep that brought me down, but me being oblivious to the fact that I think it ok I can manage three sports all at the same time. I love playing all three sports but you have to choose to do one at the end of the day. You have to understand that it is better for one or two things because you be able to commit to it and see the improvements as you continue to commit. If you do a bunch of things all at the same time, you will not be able to commit and do those things as well. An even bigger problem is that once you join all of these activists/sports, you feel pressure to continue to do it and not quit. Everyone in each of the activities and/or sports are counting on you and the role you play in. The idea of quitting makes everyone have a negative view on you. It feels like you have let everyone down and be label you as a quieter. Everyone gonna look down on you as if you are weak. It is important for people to understand that you have to make a wise choice and think ahead how much extracurriculars you can handle. Do not overwork yourself and it always better to do one or two extracurriculars than doing many extracurriculars. Knowing that you have to quit does not show a sign of weakness at all but knowing what you can manage and what you can not manage.