Ahead of Schedule

I really liked how it started with no dialogue and instead a description of what was going on. Also, I really liked when actions were described instead of outright saying what was happening, like in the first part when it says, "Sweat dripped down Finn’s neck," instead of saying Finn was nervous because it allowed the reader to infer what was happening.

I've noticed that there is well balance between dialogue and paragraph length, which made reading this story, much more smoother, and the third person view really helped with painting the setting of the story.

I really enjoyed your story, it didn't have any boring patches and flowed really nicely. One technique that stood out to me was your use of third person. It allowed me to think more about their physical behavior and actions. Another technique I noticed was that in part 3 there was not a lot of dialogue that allowed me to be more in the scene. The story had me very engaged and I was surprised at some of the plot. One thing I got about human nature is that they want to explore and break rules.

I really enjoyed reading this, the description through all parts and how well they all match up/align. The different techniques were all executed really well and overall the story is very well put together. Great job!