Bad Habits -- Madison Siegel

Bad Habits

Okay so it’s been a year since we moved. My friends from back home seem to be doing good. When they asked me why I don’t move back because Mom lives in Vermont I wasn’t really sure what to say. I made a new life here in New York City, and not that I don’t miss them and would love to see more of them, but things were just so complicated when we lived there. I’m sure you understand. You’re my brother and that’s why I’m telling you about Mom.

I mean Mom and her crazy drunk moments. Dad always disappearing to go to the casino. It was just not fun. It was terrifying. I understand that the last two years before we moved was when it became ugly. The yelling every night, Mom treating us terrible because she was drunk and replied to it with anger, Dad lying about where he was going. I feel the exact same way you do. After realizing what they have been doing I would search Mom and Dad’s room to see if Mom had hid another bottle in there. I just wanted to know if she was still drinking. I would put the bottle back after I touched it, I just wanted to know. I was hoping each day that she had taken her last sip and that we had reached the bottom of the hill our lives were going down. I mean she had to know that she had a problem or else she would have kept the bottle with the rest of the alcohol in the kitchen. I mean your my brother and I know that we both handled this in a different way. I stayed quiet when all of this was happening, and you expressed your voice to them. Yes. I know I can’t leave Dad after everything he’s done for us. I mean he quit going to the casino and took us here so he could have a job and take care of us. When he saw how much we were affected by everything he took matters into his own hands. That’s  what’s  important. I feel like my life belongs here because it doesn’t matter what he’s done in the past, it matters what he’s doing now. The difference between Mom and Dad is he got his life back together. He is making an effort. After finding that bottle hidden in Mom’s house I now know that she’s not making an effort. She abandoned us, and that is what makes me sad.

Wait? He did what in Florida?

A few months ago? He lost how much money? $1,500!?!

Where did you hear this? Mommom told you? You’re telling me that a 96 year old lady recognized this, but we didn’t? I can’t believe this! I can’t believe him! I gave him money to help get everybody presents for Christmas and he just ended up wasting it at the casino? I knew that all the money wasn’t adding up right. He seemed really worried about it and kept saying that he spent most of it on gifts. When they didn’t even cost that much and I paid most of it. Wait? He also hasn’t been giving Grandma the rent? So the money we give him each month to live in our house is also just going to the casino. None of it has actually gone to the rent? Well what was the point of all of this if both our parents are still doing the things they were supposed to stop?

I mean they’re acting like children,-- even I feel more grown up then they do. The worst part is that Dad comes to me when he’s in trouble. He owes me $1,700 at the moment and instead of trying to pay me back this is what he does? I’m not even sure who I’m mad at more Mom or Dad? The thing is that I still see Dad trying to put his life together and raise us right where Mom doesn’t even seem to care and is just out drinking 24/7. I get that Dad lost a lot of money, but at least he is trying. I think he does it to try and have more money for the family. So I guess at least his intentions were to help. We should confront both of them and try to get them to stop. Wait. If I confront Mom she’s just going to deny it. She’s going to fight with me about it and nothing will ever be solved. Maybe I should just let Grandma know what’s been going on and tell her I know about Dad’s problem. What do you mean I can’t tell anyone about Dad’s problem? If I talk to Grandma she’s going to want to help, not get mad at you and never speak to you again for telling me. So I can’t confront both of them? So we’re just going to have to continue letting them hurt their lives and ours? This isn’t fair. I have tried my hardest. It’s their turn.


Comments (2)

Benjamin Rivera (Student 2020)
Benjamin Rivera

I can feel the emotion of the character through the monologue. She has strong intents for her dad to get christmas presents but he may not be the best with money. She really wants him to change but it's hard sometimes for people to break addiction.

Jayden Tull (Student 2020)
Jayden Tull

She has a big heart an cares for her family but she is tired of her parents letting her down by resorting back to their addictions. She is lost and doesn't know how to fix the issue