War causes violence throughout many parts of the world. This includes Vietnam, Syria, Iraq, the United States, and many other places. The morality of the soldiers fighting in these wars is questioned from the moment they decide they wanted to become a soldier. The U.S launched an attack on Iraq in 2003 of that year. The soldiers went over to Iraq to lift off bombs, raid their houses, and kill people. It’s hard when a soldier is asked to do difficult things, and once they’ve crossed those lines, it’s hard to navigate back. For an infinite amount of veterans, coming home doesn’t end with kisses and hugs. Now there is an increasing awareness, and some say an urgent need for America and Americans to step up and share the pain of our returning veterans and help them reclaim their lives. An important factor in the return of some vets is that much of the country has not shared the pain of the wars they have been fighting. This essay will analyze the psychological effects that soldiers go through and how that changes them for the rest of their lives. The pain people feel after going through war can be just as traumatic as anything else. War conditions create memories and wounds that outlive the wars themselves. In an article for CNN “I’m Prepared to Talk About the Things I Did in Iraq” Samuel Madel says, “Their images and sounds persist in many parts of peoples lives through multiple generations.” Soldiers can remember things that take decades to work through, and it is not definite that their soul can ever recover. Studies show that there are higher rates of physical and mental illness after coming home from war. These memories can create psychological conditions that are often hidden in the way we write history. In textbooks, we only see the facts, not the opinions, but a person’s perspective emphasizes on their opinion. That can stop us from seeing how war can affect soldiers, specifically in Iraq. People hear about the things that these people did when they were in Iraq and have trouble believing that the soldiers they know and love actually did this. Their experience forever changes the mentality that soldiers go through after going to war. They have seen so many traumatic things that mental illness is increasingly likely to happen. Sonya Timson, writer for the New York Times says, “In evaluation of successes and failures, scholars and policymakers have a responsibility to recognize these intricacies, beyond logistics and statistics, and to resist the urge to reduce a people’s wellbeing to the toppling of a regime.” This quote shows that the question that instead needs to be at the forefront of any discussion about the effects of war is what it means for a “liberated” society to live in conditions of constant rupture. To be “liberated” while experiencing enduring loss and grief caused by the death of hundreds of thousands of civilians and soldiers; or to be children growing up in exploded neighborhoods and raided houses, internalizing and suppressing wartime anxieties. Unless a person experiences what these soldiers go through, it is unlikely for them to ever understand. For example, many movies and T.V. series cover topics of the PTSD that is created after experiencing war. In the T.V. show, Grey's Anatomy, one of the surgeons fought for our country against Iraq and had experienced PTSD on the show. In the next season, it was as if that character had never been to war. That proves that even if people do extensive research like famous T.V. shows have to do, it is hard to believe that these soldiers will never be the same. People want to believe that their loved ones mental illness will magically go away, but the exploits that these soldiers go through compare to nothing of an American's regular daily life. In conclusion, soldiers have to go through so much pain that there is a question if they will ever recover from it. We don’t know if they will ever be the same, we don’t know what happened while they were there, and we don’t know their perspective on everything they saw. These soldiers will never be the same to the point where they could now have to deal with mental illnesses. They will forever wonder what is right and wrong and what is black and white. They will never forget what has happened to them and will continue to have flashbacks and dreams of being at war. They could wonder what they could have done differently, but in the end, soldiers know that there is nothing that they can change about their pasts. Us as Americans should try our best to help them cope, and hope that the tiny things we can do can make a change in their lives for the better. If you know someone who is a soldier keep an extra eye on them because not only have they helped you in more ways then you know, but they also could be dealing with something you have no clue about. 

Ever since I was little, I have had to get used to being a twin.  My parents would always refer to us as “the twins,” but let’s get something straight, we are entirely different. My twin, Justin, has always been known to catch onto things more quickly then I have been. I have always had a hearing problem that has dentified me to struggle more than Justin has. I have to try harder than Justin, but we usually end up achieving the same goal. I don’t think I struggled more than Justin has at all, but the thought that other people thought that had taught me to learn how to work harder. My past experiences have created my identity, including my self-worth, learning from other people’s mistakes, and accepting the fact that everything isn’t always going to work out the way I want it too.

Throughout my years of education, Justin was always placed in higher classes even though I  always had to spend a lot more time studying. Since I knew that my brother was able to catch onto things more easily when I was little, I have always been eager to get to the same level as him. In the article Twin Study the author says, “I knew what Samantha was going to say before she said it, and I knew which boys she’d like before she met them, and we always got up at the same time in the night to pee, among other uncanny similarities.”  In this article, we learn about a girl who is a twin and is identifying the specific things that she realizes her sister does. Samantha and her sister are a great example of twins growing up together, and it was clear that they would become close and know each other really well. That relates to Justin and my relationship because just as Samantha was able to recognize certain things that created her identity from being a twin, I have too by understanding the things that Justin has done well. Justin and I also know how to handle each other when we're angry, whether it's us trying to get each other angrier or trying to make each other feel better. For example, when Justin is furious at me I know to not answer and give him a few minutes to think about the situation. My brother had always known when I was upset about something that I might not even have any control over and has always tried his best to cheer me up. These are just some of the many things that my brother and I have learned to get into the habit of, to help us be there for each other no matter how mad we could get at each other.

Growing up people always referred to my brother and me as if we were a set, meaning that one always went with the other. They automatically assumed that since we are twins, we are similar. My brother and I both have different skills that make us who we are. As we got older, that became more clear. Justin was able to be mature in ways that I didn’t know how to be when we got older, but the same went for me. National Geographic’s, Eve Conant, explains to us the way kids create an identity based on their gender by saying,  “Many readily admitted that it could be hard—frustrating, confusing, lonely—to fit into the communities they call home and the roles they’re expected to play.” The author points out that this was the view 9-year-old girls had since they knew at a young age that it would be harder for them to find a job then it would be for a male. When it was time for Justin and I to get our first jobs, Justin was just offered one. I had to work hard to find one. In New Jersey, you can get a job at 14, but most businesses won’t hire anyone under the age of 16. When we moved to Philadelphia, we worked at the same place. Justin was able to work well carrying heavy things and knowing how to answer customers questions without any help, whe Even though I was struggling with the job at first, I eventually learned everything to help customers have full satisfaction. That helped me to learn that I can succeed at anything I set my mind too.

My identity overall has been influenced by the actions of my brother and how it shaped my own character, as I’m sure it also helped to develop his identity. I learned not to argue over unnecessary things, and to get along with my brother in the easiest way possible. That also helps me to have good habits too. In the article, What Is the Self? It Depends, Julian Baggini says, “Conceptions of self are usually assumed to be attempts to describe the objective reality of what a self is, and this is indeed what thinkers around the globe have often thought they were doing.” With that saying, every action of my past has shaped who I am today. When I think about the past mistakes I have made, I am not just thinking about mine, but also the mistakes that my brother has made. I prefer to go with the flow and hope that time will figure things out, and if they don’t? What’s the worse that can happen? Justin has taught me that everything doesn’t have to be done perfectly correct and that it is okay to make mistakes because they should always work out.

As much as I wouldn’t like to admit this since Justin and I have experienced so many of the same events, it has caused us to not only be brother and sister but know each other more than anyone else on this planet. My brother has always known when I am lying, just like I always know when he’s annoyed. Since Justin has always caught me in a lie, I now prefer to tell the truth because what’s the worse that can happen? Whenever my brother ever gets angry or upset, I can always understand why better than anyone else can. We handle things differently and are both just trying to figure out a way to get through life successfully. We also know that just because something doesn’t work out, that we would always have each other's back because let's face it, we’re stuck with each other. Just because my brother and I have been through many similar life experiences, we are our own human beings, and are completely different from each other.  

“Can you hear me when I talk this low?” She muttered.

When people find out that I am hearing impaired, they try to figure out how bad it is. There’s a distinction from when you are deaf and when you have hearing loss. People hear things differently than I do, but I don’t recognize that I perceived it incorrectly. When people say, “Madison you’re yelling.” I don’t acknowledge that I was yelling. Hearing loss is not something people automatically notice, and it’s hard for me to remember that I am hearing things differently because I have dealt with it my whole life. My hearing problem affects many different aspects of my life, including the way I grew up, the way I talk, and the way I take in information.

When I was 6 years old, I was placed in the class where the teacher had a black, circled microphone around their neck. I had the teachers who taught the kids with disabilities. Truth be told, I never understood why I was known as someone with a disability because I didn’t think it was a big deal. When I looked around the sunlit room, I saw the little kids around me get into a circle for show and tell. I remember glimpses of my teacher from kindergarten with a long sleeve, gray shirt on, asking me, “Madison can you hear me?" I thought to myself, did she really think I was deaf? When she would talk into the microphone for more then an hour, I wouldn’t be able realize she still had it on because I was so used to hearing it that way. I remembered that when she did turn the microphone off after using it for a while, I had trouble hearing her and couldn’t adjust to the lower volume. I felt like I should have been able to hear her. I was always placed in the front of the room, so it wasn’t until I didn’t have a microphone and was sitting in the back of the room that I saw a difference.

When I speak, my mind tells me that I hear myself in a regular American accent. I hear my voice differently than others do, and when I hear myself in a recording, it takes me a second to realize that it’s my voice. I wonder why my mind hears something one way, but it comes out a different way. When I was in 5th grade my dad, who had squared glasses on, and a shirt that said AAMCO on it and I were in a meeting with a speech therapist, talking about how I didn’t need to be monitored anymore.

“Ever since she was little she has had this certain accent that makes it hard for others to understand her. Now that her voice has begun to mature, will that accent go away?” My dad said.

I had never realized before that I pronounced things differently than anyone else. I looked at the speech therapist who was answering my dad’s question and thought about how people always say, “what” to me because they misunderstood what I was saying. I felt bad and embarrassed because the next thing I noticed was the speech therapist saying,

“It is common for kids with hearing loss to not enunciate when they speak.”

I was really confused because when I speak, I hear myself enunciate. That was when I realized that I’m not just hearing a lower volume than everyone else, but that it can affect other abilities I may have too.

Information is the key to helping people succeed in life. That’s how we learn and keep moving forward. I have learned that when I am taking in the information, or reading the information, I don’t understand it as quickly as others might. When I was 14 years old, a psychiatrist gave me a test that helped me notice how much my hearing problem really affected me. She gave me a test that showed me a pattern, and then I had to create that pattern using blocks. I stared at the puzzle and I couldn’t identify what direction I should put the shapes in. I got frustrated because it was a simple task, but for some reason I couldn’t do it. My face got bright red, and the psychiatrist could tell I was embarrassed.

“Just take your time you're doing fine.” She said hesitantly.

I was able to tell from the way she said it that I wasn’t doing it as quickly as she thought I would. In that moment, we both realized that was part of the reason I had to take the test in the first place. To actually narrow down what affected the way I learned. The psychiatrist explained to me that I was able to do a lot of things including reading quickly and memorizing things, but when I actually need to run the process through my mind, I have a slower time.

It wasn’t until I actually began to mature that I really understood the way my hearing loss affects me. I didn’t realize that my teacher was asking me if I was able to hear what she was saying not only to make sure I knew what she was saying, but to make sure that I fully comprehended what she was saying. I now have ways to work around my hearing loss when I am taking in information, including repeating what a person says to me a few times, and pausing for a second to actually give myself an easier chance of understanding. I learned how to speak slower so people will be able to understand what I’m saying, and if I needed to enunciate for anything I learned that if I bit on my tongue for a few seconds, it helped me to do that. Sometimes when you have a problem that you can’t fix, finding ways to make it work with your life is the solution.

Madison Siegel

Ms. Pahomov

English 2

6 April 2018

A Little Bit of Civilization, a Little Bit of Savagery

In William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies”, the author portrays the fluctuating identities of a group of boys who are stranded on an island. What makes a person civilized or savage? How do the things that happen to a person affect their actions? Some people think that things happen to them for a reason. Some people wait to see what the future holds and then make their decisions based off of that. In the book, the characters of Ralph and Piggy view the world differently from the way Jack sees the world. That’s why Jack is known as savage and Ralph and Piggy are known as civilized. The environment that these characters were in before they were stranded on the island-shaped their decisions and the other characters in the book. The idea of civilized vs. savage creates many scenarios in both the book and in real life. People who possess normal minded behavior can resort to savage behavior when put into a desperate situation or stay their normal self.

People can be faced with the pathways of choosing a civilized or savage way. It might be better to take the civilized route because then you know you followed the rules, but if you take the savage route it might benefit you more. In an article written by Hamid Dashabi, he points out a quote saying, “In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man.” Dashabi is explaining that the reader is more likely to choose the person who follows the rules than the person who doesn’t. Something that should be recognized is the fact that even a rule-follower can have some savage traits. This observation fits into the Lord of the Flies because there was a war between the different gangs lead by Jack and Ralph. Readers may support the civilized group with Ralph because they wanted to follow the rules that they were taught. First thing to remember is how Jack came to be identified as a savage. This is a war between a civilized and savage person. Goldingsets the book up so the readers support Ralph more than they support Jack because he wanted Jack to be known as the villain. In the book, the narrator says, “[Jack] tried to convey the compulsion to track down and kill that was swallowing him up. "I went on. I thought, by myself—"The madness came into his eyes again. "I thought I might kill."”(51)  The author shows the struggle Jack has when he is stranded on the island. The readers are able to realize that Jack has some civilized qualities hidden in his savage actions. Based on the quote, the readers see that Jack was doing what he thought was best. He saw that the only way that he can survive is by looking out for himself and bossing everyone else around. This proves that civilization left room for both to happen.

Something that should be considered is that this book was written to demonstrate the problems of society and the sinful nature of each and every person. With that being said, the world was created with good and evil inside everyone. There is a struggle for every human being to tell the difference of what is right from wrong; it depends on personal opinions. They wanted to keep a very order-based community, but they also fought with others and wanted to survive.

Ralph says, “If we have a signal going, they’ll come and take us off. And another thing. We ought to have more rules. Where the conch is that’s a meeting. The same up here as down here.” (42) Without any rules, how would life look like? How would anyone know the difference from right and wrong if the world didn’t have rules? There is no real way to determine what is right and what is wrong. Ralph was pulling from what he knew before he got stranded on the island to try to keep a more civilized community. Ralph was trying to do what he thought was best for not only him, but everyone stuck on that island. People need rules or else everyone would be identified as savage. With that being said, there is a greater chance that people are savage than civilized because even with rules, people can be savage. Ralph still had a little bit of savage in him even though he was identified as civilized.

The identity of civilized against savage nature plays a huge role in the theme of the book. The people in the government are the ones who make the rules. They make the laws that guide each and every human being. Then, there are the people in the government that don’t follow the rules, creating a corrupt society. For example, Donald Trump can definitely be identified as both civilized and savage. He is this country’s president, but yet he can probably relate more to Jack’s morals than to Ralph’s morals. Jack and Ralph can be identified as political parties too. Weebly says, “The formation of two separate groups in Lord of the Flies, Ralph's "followers" and Jack's "followers," leads to the total loss of unity on the island. In The United States' government, there are two main political parties that often struggle against each other: the Democratic Party and the Republican Party.” Those two teams are often pitted against each other in today’s society, but they aren’t identified as savage. This creates interest because when two people get into a fight, they are known as being on opposing teams, and are quickly identified as savage. Some people would like to think that there is just a good and a bad, a right and a wrong, and a savage and a civilized, but the truth in the matter is that human beings are in between. In Lord of the Flies, Jack was in between because he thought he was doing the right thing, but he was doing it in a savage way.

Bad Habits

Okay so it’s been a year since we moved. My friends from back home seem to be doing good. When they asked me why I don’t move back because Mom lives in Vermont I wasn’t really sure what to say. I made a new life here in New York City, and not that I don’t miss them and would love to see more of them, but things were just so complicated when we lived there. I’m sure you understand. You’re my brother and that’s why I’m telling you about Mom.

I mean Mom and her crazy drunk moments. Dad always disappearing to go to the casino. It was just not fun. It was terrifying. I understand that the last two years before we moved was when it became ugly. The yelling every night, Mom treating us terrible because she was drunk and replied to it with anger, Dad lying about where he was going. I feel the exact same way you do. After realizing what they have been doing I would search Mom and Dad’s room to see if Mom had hid another bottle in there. I just wanted to know if she was still drinking. I would put the bottle back after I touched it, I just wanted to know. I was hoping each day that she had taken her last sip and that we had reached the bottom of the hill our lives were going down. I mean she had to know that she had a problem or else she would have kept the bottle with the rest of the alcohol in the kitchen. I mean your my brother and I know that we both handled this in a different way. I stayed quiet when all of this was happening, and you expressed your voice to them. Yes. I know I can’t leave Dad after everything he’s done for us. I mean he quit going to the casino and took us here so he could have a job and take care of us. When he saw how much we were affected by everything he took matters into his own hands. That’s  what’s  important. I feel like my life belongs here because it doesn’t matter what he’s done in the past, it matters what he’s doing now. The difference between Mom and Dad is he got his life back together. He is making an effort. After finding that bottle hidden in Mom’s house I now know that she’s not making an effort. She abandoned us, and that is what makes me sad.

Wait? He did what in Florida?

A few months ago? He lost how much money? $1,500!?!

Where did you hear this? Mommom told you? You’re telling me that a 96 year old lady recognized this, but we didn’t? I can’t believe this! I can’t believe him! I gave him money to help get everybody presents for Christmas and he just ended up wasting it at the casino? I knew that all the money wasn’t adding up right. He seemed really worried about it and kept saying that he spent most of it on gifts. When they didn’t even cost that much and I paid most of it. Wait? He also hasn’t been giving Grandma the rent? So the money we give him each month to live in our house is also just going to the casino. None of it has actually gone to the rent? Well what was the point of all of this if both our parents are still doing the things they were supposed to stop?

I mean they’re acting like children,-- even I feel more grown up then they do. The worst part is that Dad comes to me when he’s in trouble. He owes me $1,700 at the moment and instead of trying to pay me back this is what he does? I’m not even sure who I’m mad at more Mom or Dad? The thing is that I still see Dad trying to put his life together and raise us right where Mom doesn’t even seem to care and is just out drinking 24/7. I get that Dad lost a lot of money, but at least he is trying. I think he does it to try and have more money for the family. So I guess at least his intentions were to help. We should confront both of them and try to get them to stop. Wait. If I confront Mom she’s just going to deny it. She’s going to fight with me about it and nothing will ever be solved. Maybe I should just let Grandma know what’s been going on and tell her I know about Dad’s problem. What do you mean I can’t tell anyone about Dad’s problem? If I talk to Grandma she’s going to want to help, not get mad at you and never speak to you again for telling me. So I can’t confront both of them? So we’re just going to have to continue letting them hurt their lives and ours? This isn’t fair. I have tried my hardest. It’s their turn.

Has anybody ever realized that everyone has problems? That every single person on this earth is going through some tough situation. It may not be so bad, but to the person it is. Sometimes a person just needs someone to just be there for them. For my fourth quarter English benchmark we had to choose an important topic and make a change. I chose Addiction. I realized not many people talk about it or really see it as the problem it really is. To make that change I first started with a lot of research on addiction and how a person becomes addicted and how it affects others. Then I did a survey to see how common addiction was. After getting those results I wanted to make sure the people who were affected by addiction knew that they weren’t alone.

At first, I wasn’t really sure on how I can make the change that I wanted to make. I wanted people to understand why addicts are addicts, and why it wasn’t their or the addict's fault. Knowing that there’s nobody to blame can save a lot less trouble, and can send some help to the situation. I didn’t want people to feel this stress from what I chose to do that would cause them to realize “Oh that’s me I don’t care.” I mainly didn’t want to say my opinion or phrases like “It will get better”. I wanted people to know the facts, so I took all of my research from my first and second blog post (including my survey) and made it into a brochure.

Pictures of Brochure

My brochure took a bit of time to put together, but it turned out great! I was targeting the audience that knew an addict and was affected by it, and the addicts themself. I made over 70 copies and handed them out to the students who go to Science Leadership Academy. One thing I was worried about was putting people under pressure. I was worried handing out a brochure to one specific person would make them think I was implying something. When I handed these out I made sure to go to groups of people and say, “Hey guys. do you want a brochure?” That left a lot of mystery on what it was, and if somebody really wanted to read they didn’t have to do it then and was able to save it for later. My brochure turned out to be a really good idea thankfully! I had a few students come up to me and say, “Thank you for making this. I struggle with this problem and I love what you wrote about.” That made me feel really good and helped me realized how truly important addiction is.

Picture of me handing out Brochures

I was really curious how much awareness is being raised for addiction so I decided to do some research. I ended up finding a website that gives you the 9 best charities for addiction. I personally think these charities are a great way to help with people who have an addiction. The main things these charities donate to is research on addiction, rehabs, and scientific methods to help cure addiction. Rehabs try to help people stay sober, but it is known that if you only go one time it is likely not to work compared to going 2-3 times that really helps a person to realize that it’s time to end the situation they are in. It is really great that there are charities out there to help, so donate now to help.

Overall, this has been a great experience, and I am really happy that I did it. I myself know some addicts and one has actually recently relapsed. With my new gathered information on addiction I was really able to help the person. One thing the person said was, “It was really easy to talk to you about this, and I’m really happy you understand.” Something I could have done better was my annotated bibliography because I fell a little behind on it. There is still a lot to be done on addiction. Hopefully there will be more people to help addicts, and some thing to help cure it. I have this feeling of success when I think about this project and hope all my readers enjoy reading and learning about everything I discovered. I also hope it has made an impact on everyone as much as it has on me.

Soy yo
La hija de Art y Maggi.
Tengo dos los hermanos.
Mi hermano, Justin y

mi hermana, Lexi.
Producto de Los Estados Unidos.

Mi familia es de Rumania y Rusia.

Buscando el azul del cielo.

Yo saboreo los mariscos del mar azul,

porque Yo huelo la brisa del océano.

Yo oigo la gaviota y

Yo toco la arena.

Trabajar es mi destino.

Soy yo cajera.

Tengo buenas notas en la escuela.

Me gusta escuchar música e ir de compras.

Somos productos de Filadelfia.
Somos Americanos.
Hablamos ingles .
La lengua de hamburguesa.
No somos Mexicanos, vivimos en America.
No somos ingles. Ingles está en nosotros.