Best Personal Essay Ever- The Strength of Values at its Strongest

The Strength of Values at its Strongest

I follow the scent of turmeric, garlic, tahini, red chilli powder to the kitchen, I spot my dad on the right side of the stove making  roasted tomatoes and kous- kous.  My brother, on the other side of the kitchen counter, mashing the potatoes. My mother and aunts busy themselves on the stove top mixing curry until they get the perfect texture. My uncles preparing the turkey along with my cousins. Soon enough, they all spot me and say, “Are you ready for the ‘Barabsgiving?’ This is my dad's  take on Thanksgiving; the combination of Bengali and  Arabic cuisine.

My mother is from Bangladesh, a place many people don’t even know exists. While my dad is from the land of architecture, the capital of all cars known to mankind. They both come from two very different worlds yet they balance each other out perfectly. Then there's myself, I am a physical and cultural mix ; I am the compromise of both cultures . One with a president and as well as very different political system and as well as culture than the other. Another with Sheikh who has say and control overall, alone.  It all surprisingly works, I am still here in one piece and sane. There differences are what balance me out. The understanding that I have amongst it all is that they aren’t actually that different, their environment and circumstances might have been, but the way they grew up as a family is the one thing that makes them separate but yet so close. My parents are both muslim and find that nothing else is more valuable than family.

I walked through the streets of Abu Dhabi there was freedom, you could dress in any fashion,  but then there is respect, respect towards others, respect towards the culture and respect towards religion. Although there were many others who dressed the way they pleased, which was Americanized, as they call it. I remember their shorts and tank tops . The majority of the people are Muslim, they wear Abayas and or Niqabs, black gown- like clothing that drape their whole body. The niqab which is common amongst females for covering most parts of their faces except for exposing the eyes. Even through the normal 100  degree weather they stay consistent with their traditional and religious values. This is what I see with my mother, no matter what the environment  or circumstance is, she never abandons her religious values.

September 11, a date that will be carved in all of history’s books and works this is also the very same date that will carve into my mothers brain and heart until the day she dies. It was the decision of whether to be safe or abandon her religion. The terrorists who attacked the twin towers were stated to be Muslim “those who wear turbans and hijabs” my mother had to make the decision to walk away from her religion, bow her head and remove her scarf or continue wearing her abaya and hijab and hold her head up high as she did everyday. She wrote in her journal that same night as she did every day the words went as followed.

“This date whether I record it or not will be engraved in my brain forever, many are telling me to loose the hijab and abaya for the sake of my own and my child’s safety, they say I can not walk in  the streets and be looked at the same, life has changed. How can I lose it when losing my hijab and abaya mean losing me, my humanity and who I am? Without these things I will no longer be Romona, wife of Mohammed Ali Siddiquee and Mother of Aysha. If I don’t show respect and hold on to my religion during these times then how will I guide my own daughter and family and set any example, I will be a failure to not only my religion but to my family. Letting go of the hijab and abaya is letting go of me and who I am. So no I will continue wearing my scarf and walking out these same doors holding my head  high, those who committed this horrendous attack are not Muslim, if they were true muslims they could never bring harm to others, they will be punished for their doings they will face tremendous consequences. Putting this scarf down means surrendering and feeding into a false “truth”.

So my mother continued wearing her hijab and never once has she walked out the house without it or feels any remorse, she knows what she is doing she is doing for her religion and herself. Her hijab is what makes her who she is and is a crucial part of her how she was raised and her values.

“Mohammed Ali” Not the world renown boxer but my father. His full name is Mohammed Ali Siddiquee. After 9/11 many people with the name Mohammed were harassed and interrogated since it is a very common Muslim name this however did not impact my father as it did to many others. He was pressured by others a numerous amount of times to change his name to something else since it wasn’t safe and it would make him an easy target. But my father knew a name is one of the most important things that makes a person who they are. It gives them identification and ideas and things to signify them. People hold family titles and as well as accomplishments with their name. To remove a person’s name is to remove their accomplishments and a personality. Making someone who they are. My father's name means more than everything to him, my grandfather name all of his children very carefully each holding a special meaning to him, and my grandfather had recently died only 5 months before 9/11 making the name even more meaningful and special to my father. One of the few things he had left to hold on to from my grandfather. Replacing his name would mean replacing all memories and accomplishments associated with the name and the importance or presence of my grandfather in his life, basically removing a part of him and who he is. His whole life attached to one name.

Changing his name would be stripping him of his identity and what he strived to become his entire life so he stuck to his name and what would come with it.

Both of my parents and their encounters and decisions make me who I am today everything I do, I do for them not out of obligation that they both came to America to provide a life for us, each of their countries individually provided great opportunities but they both knew that in order to live a life with both freedom and opportunity America was the right place. They both sacrificed what was comfortable for them to provide a more opportunistic life. In that kitchen, that day, I realized how we were all from different backgrounds and cultures, but yet, we all shared the same values of family and religion.