Best Personal Essay Ever-What's Going To Happen Tomorrow?

December 20th, 2016 was a great day. I remember being in my English class talking to my friends in the back of the classroom sitting on a red sofa. It was at 10:26 am, I went onto Snapchat and took a picture of one of my friend he was wearing blue Adidas pants with a grey hoodie while my other friend ended up being in the picture because she had her head on his lap playing games on her phone. She was wearing black leggings and a pink Adidas hoodie. I showed them the pictured and we all laughed. I continued my day like any other, going to lunch then going to three other classes then school was finished. After school, I would do the usual and walk with my boyfriend to 15th street City Hall.

We would part ways and I would meet up with my mom, we would ask each other how our days went as we walked to 13th and market to her car. That day my mom had asked me if she should go see mom-mom and my mom had been doing so much with the house and the bills and working, and on top of this still taking care of me and my dad making sure we had dinner every night. So I told her that we just saw her on Thursday and she was doing good and that the doctor had just called today and said she was ready to move out because she was improving a lot.  So me and my mom made some pizza and ate it on the couch while we watched tv. The night was normal, I went to bed a little early and was in a really deep sleep, a sleep I hadn't had in awhile.

Then in the middle of the night of December 21st, 2016 I was woken up by screeching cries and shouts of “No, this isn't real!” I sat up trying to get myself out of sleep mode and focus on what was happening. I then realized something bad- really bad had happened and I had the idea of what I thought it was. I went to my mom and dad's room as the screaming and crying was still happening and getting louder as I got closer. I saw my dad trying to hold my mom up from falling on the floor because she couldn't stand. She was the one crying and screaming because what she heard couldn't be true it didn't make any sense. We all immediately went to the hospital to see her. We walked in and told the nurse at the front desk who we were coming to see and everyone got so quiet then they took us back to the room. Pulled back the curtain and there she was. It looked like she was sleeping but she wasn't and even when seeing her I myself thought that this wasn't real. The days that followed I felt like I was in someone else's body just looking out their eyes.

The start of it all. She was supposed to go in to get stents put in her legs and it was supposed to be a day in day out surgery. Then there was something else that was wrong, and then very rapidly there were all of these problems popping up. The hospital became her life. I went to see her in the beginning but over the time it got harder and harder to see her like that and not being able to talk to anyone due to her having a tube. I tried to blur it out and not think about the pain she was going through and not trying to have that image stuck in my head. I knew that she would have never wanted that. It was December 15th, 2016 my mom told me that I should come with her to visit. So that's what I did I got dressed got her Christmas present in a bag and we headed out to the car. While we were in the car I was so nervous, and I was never nervous to go and see her. I was always excited and she was someone I could be myself around. But I was nervous that she would look at me differently because I hadn't come to see her, and I could understand why she would have felt that way. So we got there I sat there for about 5 minutes and then we finally entered the hospital. We got to the front desk and told them what our names were and who we were coming to see they gave us visitor stickers with our names on them so that the workers would know that we weren't just some random people.

My mom had known where her room was because she had been there to see her before and the times before when she went to see her she said that she hasn't really been doing that well, she would have her good and bad days. When she was going to see her she was telling my mom how she missed her daughter Julie and would talk about her granddaughter Alex and how she missed her.The problem wasn't that she was talking about her feelings and what had happened between all of these people. But my mom is Julie and that's what the problem was. So I thought that when we were going to enter the room that she wasn't going to know who I was. But as soon as we walked into the room she knew who we were and she was excited to see us. I went over gave her a hug and kiss and so did my mom. We started talking about what she would do in the hospital and she said she would watch tv and color in the coloring books my mom bought for her. Both me and my mom were standing up talking to her and she kept telling me “Oh sweetheart, sit down right here.” She was moving the sheets and her feet so that I could have a place to sit and that I would be comfortable. My mom said to her “Alex has a Christmas present she wants to give to you.” So I handed her the bag with her present in it. I took it out for her. It was a beanie baby snowman with big eyes and a Santa hat on its head. She said she loved it, but she didn't want to keep it there because she didn't want someone to take it or for it to get lost when she moved out of the place. So we spent a little more time there and then it was time to leave. I kissed her and hugged her. She kept saying she loved me and kept blowing me kisses and I said I loved her and did it back. Then my mom kissed her and hugged her and they said I love you to each other and me and my mom headed to the car to go home.

      Six days after we saw my mom-mom that's when it happened. December 21st,2016 at 2:18 am is when my mom-mom passed away. This was a day that I didn't even think about, that I didn't think would happen for a long time. I thought I had years and years left with her. So much time that she would be able to go to my wedding to be able to see my first child and so many years that I could travel with her and take her to places shed dreamt to go. These are things that I think about all of the time. I miss her so much. The pain in your heart and missing someone you were so close to doesn't ever go away. But you can try to distract your heart and mind with good memories and laughs you remember.

Comments (5)

Mindy Saw (Student 2019)
Mindy Saw

I learned how you felt for your mom-mom and how much of a big connection and relationship you had with her. The techniques you used with repetition and illustrative scenes worked because the repetition and illustrative scenes made it sound more real and like I was a ghost actually there when you were describing the scene.

Zahira Tucker (Student 2019)
Zahira Tucker

I learned about how close you were with your mom mom and how fond of her you were. I can feel and see just how much you loved her and that's admirable. I believe that both of your techniques worked really well. First your repetition stood out to me and that's good. You're illustrative scene was well written so good job overall.

Alexandrea Rivera (Student 2019)
Alexandrea Rivera

My two techniques:

Repetition: "This isn't real"

Illustrative scenes: Explaining in the beginning about how my day was going and everything I did that day. I also described how I first got the news and what I saw and heard.