I really enjoyed the direction you took this idea, which was very different to the story I worked on. The plants physically fighting back is a very cool concept in my opinion. One small suggestion I have is to re format the story as a whole. I found the reading to be very dense, only being a single paragraph for each story. I think if you break it up a bit, it will make the story a whole lot more engaging for the reader. Some techniques I noticed were the use of dialogue in the second and third part, and a little bit in the first. I found the message on human behavior to be that if humans show a lack of care for the earth, the earth will fight back.
There was a lot of really good descriptive language. Third person perspective really made sense for this story as well as the switch to first person. Really awesome use of onomatopoeia. The message I got from this was that humans disregard for the planet is a dangerous thing.
I love the use of onomatopoeia! That and the very descriptive language made me feel like I was in the story. It was a great read, the descriptive language got me hooked especially in the second part where she's hiding from the plants and she's terrified. The message I got from this story is that humans will do anything to survive.
I wanted to read this story because I really like the theme of it. Once I finished reading it I was pretty satisfied with what I read. I really like that you used the first person point of view for some of your parts. It was something unexpected but made me feel closer to the character. Good Job!
Comments (5)
Log in to post a comment.