A lot of times I sit up in my room at night simply staring at my ceiling fan watching it spin. I’ve always thought that it was pretty weird but I just couldn’t stop myself from doing it. While I’m sitting there my brain is constantly just thinking and thinking about everything and anything: what i’m going to eat the next day, where I put my favorite hoodie, even the fact that the same water now is the same water like 1 million years ago. With these thoughts the same question arises: what is my purpose, my future?
With in the Book The Handmaid’s Tale I believe that I share a similar thought process as Offred within the text. Now I’m not able to understand the feeling of being in a totalitarian society where women are only cared for by their ability to have children but I am able to understand the feeling of not knowing what your true purpose is or feeling like your life isn’t in your own hands. “When I get out of here if I’m ever able to set this down, in any form, even in the form of one voice to another… (134) This quote comes from chapter 23 where Offred refers to her “story” as a reconstruction that not everything she’s saying is 100% her own or 100% the truth. I really was able to see this within myself. Almost everything I tell people or others about me doesn’t feel truly real or authentic. I sit sometimes and think about everything that I’m doing under my own volition, do I really want to do these things? I still can’t fully grasp that feeling as most of the time I feel what I’m doing is right and what I want to do. If I were to try and go to other people they’d probably think I’m crazy which I guess is why I stay up at night just talking to myself in an empty audience.
Offred encapsulates this idea when anytime in the book the next section is called night. I paralleled that to myself as she sits in her room talking to the reader or thinking to herself. “ I feel very unreal, talking to You like this. I feel as if I’m talking to a wall. I wish You’d answer. I feel so alone.” (195) I never really could explain these thoughts to other people as it felt like I was talking to someone in another language. The idea that I don’t know my purpose sounds so foreign but is something that I definitely think other people think all the time. Yet like Offred I feel alone when I try to explain it, talking to an empty void with that void also being myself.
“Nothing new under the sun” my dad would say everything that you have thought of has probably been thought by someone else. Whenever he would tell me this I would hate it because to me it really meant nothing I could do would be original or my own thinking. It made me believe that everything I thought of was probably conditioned by someone else. Like when Offred brings up the stories she can and can’t tell. “It isn’t a story I’m telling. It’s also a story I’m telling, in my head, as I go along.” (39) When I first read this I immediately thought to myself how I constantly try to make sense of if everything I see, think, feel is truly me, or is it someone else. While also reading this I made more sense of how I better understand my place in the world which I think both me and Offred relate to.
This idea of a reconstruction or not being able to find your purpose is simply an idea that only puts forth what you put back into it. So constantly thinking about how your story isn’t your own is only putting you in the mindset of exactly that. Everything that we are living through is “Our story” even though it may not 100% feel like it. Almost like a reconstruction. Each person is living and contributing some way to their “story” even with the influences of others. Like Offred I see myself constantly asking these questions trying to uncover why I think this way even though for Offred it’s a bit more self explanatory. We both try to find the truth but also know that it doesn’t come in one nice recipe book but much more of one big jumbled mess with many begrudging questions in between.

In chapter 7, of the Handmaid’s Tale our Handmaid is describing a dream to the readers. About different moments within her past the chapter then ends off with her talking about a story. This chapter was probably the most interesting and confusing to me with the very ambiguous way the latter half of it was written. With the use of meta narrative and 4th wall breaks I took a considerable amount of time trying to break it all down for me to understand.
One line that I thought had a big significance within this chapter and even in the story is when Offred is talking about her story. “I would like to believe that this is a story I’m telling. I need to believe it. I must believe it.” (39) It feels like Offred knows that she’s in a story and in my head I saw it as her talking to the readers that she doesn’t even feel like she’s a part of her story more that she has to make herself believe she’s not a cog in a grand machine. I even related this to how Offred constantly dehumanizes herself and reduces herself to something less than like an inanimate object. Offred is almost like a side character within the story. I feel as though she thinks that the world she’s in isn’t right and she shouldn’t conform to the way things work in gilead. Hence the “I need to believe it. I Must believe it.” I also saw it as her somewhat understanding her role within the story. As the one who will eventually make it out of gilead and tell her story.

I thought that the use of the meta narrative style was interesting but also confusing all at the same time, because it really felt like Offred was going back and forth on whether it’s a story she’s telling or one she isn’t. “If it’s a story I’m telling, then I have control over the ending…If it isn’t a story I’m telling. It’s also a story I’m telling, in my head as I go along.” (39) When I first read this I was so confused because all I would read was story this, and story that. Then I started looking into this part more and I thought it made a bit more sense. Offred believes that if she really is the one making the choices for herself and telling her story then she’d be able to have her own ending. If it’s a story she isn’t creating and her choices are not of her own volition then she still has a story in which she can create in her own mind as it’s happening. I had written down that it seems like Offred is conflicted on if the choices that she makes are even her own or how this new society is conditioning her to think. I see it as a bit of both. She has her own actions and thoughts which would be the story she is telling, then it’s the actions and thoughts she has which were conditioned into her, the story she isn’t telling.
At the end of the chapter is probably the most important little section where Offred connects a story to a letter. “A story is like a letter. Dear You, I’ll say. Just you without a name. Attaching a name attaches you to the world of fact… I will say you you, like an old love song. You can mean more than one. You can mean thousands.” (40) Reading this part immediately made me think about the italicized “You” I read as Offred referring to the reader breaking through that fourth wall. Almost trying to find a connection with someone who doesn’t have to live in the world she does. That use of you makes the reader almost feel like they are within the story having to witness the struggle and suffering the handmaids of Gilead have to go through. With this use of the word you, you also have this giant ambiguity to who Offred is even referring to. Could it actually be the reader? Or even the handmaids? As she talks about a story as a letter and the word you is almost calling out to someone to read her letter, listen to her story.
The end of chapter 7 to me is one of the more interesting parts throughout The Handmaid’s Tale. Simply because of how ambiguous it is, there isn’t anything that is said flat out or explained in more detail. It’s just very open ended and up to how the reader wants to interpret it. Which I even think relates to how Offred feels within this story and most likely has to battle with throughout the rest. Which is what she makes of her story whether it be the choices she makes or the ones she is conditioned to follow. The story she’s telling versus the story she isn’t. Neither being set in stone just like the “you” that she’s referring to having the reader decide it’s fate is the same decision Offred must make when telling her story.

This talk show is takes place after the story of Macbeth where Noah Tickle Tipson Georgina Chavez takes some of the characters from Macbeth to have a giant intervention with Lady Macbeth and Macbeth himself.

By: Noah, Eliza, Rohan, and Maddie