Why did you do this to me? What have I ever done to you? All I have done is help you! All I have done is try my best to bring this family together ever since mum left. I was the one who had looked for a job and tried my best to pay for the bills. You thought I didn’t notice that you sneaked money out of the safe for alcohol? How could you even do this to me? To yourself? All the work I have done to achieve that money and you were just throwing it out.

You're were using up our savings that we need. You can’t do this anymore. I won’t allow you to Dad. I’m eighteen and If I wanted to I could leave. I don’t have to stay here and watch us drown ourselves in debt. I don’t know why this whole time I decided to stay. I shouldn’t be sacrificing my time from school work to do work. I want to go to college, but I guess I won’t be doing that any time soon. If I do leave right now, we will fall even more apart and I’m sure that none of us want that.

The moment I walked into the house I knew something was wrong. I felt the tension in the atmosphere. You stalked towards me like I was your prey. It then got to the point where the alcohol was getting into your head and you were not thinking clearly. You saw red. You saw mum in me. Is that why you grabbed my arms, thinking it was her? You held me tightly and hugged me and whispered into my ear asking why she left, why would she break apart us apart, why she did this to us...

Then suddenly out of thin air, something must have gotten into your head. You violently started shaking me. Then unwrapped your arms from around me and shoved me, and I abruptly hit the wall, and I banged my head against it, causing a searing pain in my head. Then I felt something hit my cheek. I felt the blood rushing to my face. You slapped me, Dad. I was too stunned to move. How could you do that to your own daughter? Your own flesh and blood. I should’ve known you would do this even before you laid a hand on me. You were out of your mind! Then you started shouting. You started accusing me saying how I ruined everything, that I was behind the reason why we were in the position we were in now. How if she didn’t leave for another man that we wouldn't be in this position. How she broke your heart. Dad, you thought I was mum. You really thought that low of me?

I composed myself and then suddenly something clicked in me. I was fed up with what you were saying. It had already been six months since she left and we needed to get past that. We were stronger than this.

I bursted. I started shouting and shouting back at you trying to snap you out of it. I came face to face with you and said that I wasn’t mum. Then I saw the realization in your eyes. You finally saw me as, Stephanie, your daughter and not that monster. You were saying sorry over and over again. You were in tears. I said I was glad that she left. So what if she betrayed us? Sure, she broke both us but that doesn’t mean that we weren’t going to get up and put the pieces back together. She was the coward. She was the one who lost the most amazing husband and daughter. I promise you Dad, we would get through this. We would both have to try our best and get through these hardships, together. We would do anything in our power and stay positive to get back on top. But you have to promise me that you will never drink to solve your problems. Don’t worry Dad, I know what you are going through because I feel the same way too.
Podcast E2

Comments (1)

Kimberly Barnes (Student 2018)
Kimberly Barnes

Omg Taj! I really like your monologue. I can hear the emotion of the context in your voice. I like how you made the dialogue so real, I could visually picture this and you did a great job! One point in this monologue that sticks with me is the part when her dad hit her, it made me sad to think that some children are actually growing up in homes where they don't feel loved. This stuck with me. Overall, it was beautiful.