Descriptive Essay; The Matter of Truth

I thought about this for many times about what I can improve on my problems but, it had swollen me instantly. I tried to act like nothing has happened to me so no one can bug me. Day after day, there has to be a misfortune of moments when there’s a lot of tossing and fussing. I never thought I could be so disturbed with so many things going on. I should have known better than this;  it builds up more and more where I became outraged. Being the oldest child can be difficult because I have to work my ways up as being a brother to support my family.  So here it begins.

The long afternoon had finally dragged on, it was a sticky humid summer day blazing above the sky. I was in the van, while my mom was driving, my cousin in the passenger seat with my siblings in the back. I was also in the back of the car next to my youngest sister while spacing out through the windows. I didn’t know where we were going so I looked through the blind shades. Then I turned and looked away trying to listen the soft radio music. My cousin and my mom was talking and my siblings were playing.

I was in the car for eight minutes, still wondering about moving. I remember months ago, when my  father bragged to my mom’s friends, about how he treated his family well. He said “I came here to search for a house for my family.” We’ve been  keeping his words for couple months by now. Time continued to jump forward and still there were no answers.  The disappointment on my face grew darker. I still had hope in him because he is my father and we forgive him eventually. Then the memories cut into the reality.
The air in the car was cold, where the air conditioner blasted on high. I felt squished because boxes and groceries were cramming on my foot. I wasn’t really bothered by it so I put my right arm on the seat rester and supported my head so I can close my eyes. We had a long day after working. Everything became blank when I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted to go home, getting some rest.
In the matter of seconds, my phone vibrated inside my front pocket, on the left. I took my phone, shaking. I told them it was my father and everyone was quiet while the music was turned off. My dad said, “I couldn’t buy the house because we don’t have that much money.” It was an outrage, I yelled at my dad about not keeping his words. My eyes were red and it was watering, where it felt like it was going to explode. I was yelling at him, while tears was dripping down my face. I raised my arms hitting the passenger seats, kicking the chair when my voice was furious. He kept on giving excuses so I hung up on him.
That moment I went out of control. I didn’t know what was happening because it physically just happen and I was in depression mode. Everyone in the car was just in shock because it was a long time since I did something like that. I couldn’t believe I did this horrible things in front of everyone, but at the same time I felt delighted when I yelled at my dad because he deserves it. I didn’t really bother my dad when he always talk so convincing, which he sometimes does and I need to step up on pressuring his guilt.

All this time I kept my hopes up for nothing where he brags about the wonderful things for my siblings and I. Inside of me, I was hurt. It was pain. My chest turned upside down. I thought I could believe him, but I couldn’t trust him again. The car became dull as the night sky. No one talked nor make a creek sound. I just stared through the windows, when my mind was completely emptied, trying to keep my temper low.

The relationship between my family members became worst because no one kept their words. I was acting foolish earlier but, I couldn’t keep the pain inside me.  It changed me after what just happened. Sometimes people convince me with their words and I would easily fall for them. I don’t know who I can trust. There are times when I needed someone to talk to. I would just talk to my cousins and sometimes I feel better.  Why can’t I have a better life? I can’t have a perfect life because there are ups and downs when there are full of lies happening. I just needed to be  wiser so no one can hurt my feelings again.  Since I am becoming more older, I learned to be more wiser. I will continue on the path in listening to their words and think about how I can trust their words . I will never fall into the traps again when I learned my lessons.