Dreaming Through A Lense

Posted by Kaitlyn Petroski-Rimmer in English 2 · Pahomov · C Band on Monday, November 21, 2016 at 11:58 pm

Why does Dad always ask me that? Everyday, “When are you gonna get a real job?” Digital media is a real job. It takes a lot of work to write, record, and edit a film. What a surprise, right? Then he has the nerve to tell me to settle down and do something useful with my life. I have settled down and I am doing something, but he doesn’t care because it’s not what he wants.

Dad just wants me to do something that pays well so he can feel validated. He says he’s only looking out for me, but forcing me to do something that I don’t want to do won’t make me happy. I want to spend my time creating. Watching an idea blossom from just a storyboard to a full blown film is the best thing in the world. Then seeing it go on to be successful, it makes me feel like a proud parent. I wish I knew what that felt like, having a parent that supports you no matter what you decide to do.

My entire family has been hounding me about getting a good job for as long as I can remember. They never care about what I want, they just want me to make money. I know that it’s because they want me to be better off than they are, but I don’t know what to do. Maybe they’re right, I mean, it is really hard to find work in this field, but it’s worth it, right? I love photography and cinematography, but maybe it’s not the best choice.

Wait, what am I saying?! Of course it’s the right choice, it makes me happy. Plus I don’t want to be stuck in some office job doing the same things everyday. I want to have adventures, I want to travel and capture all the places I see. I went to college for this for christ sake. It’s been my dream to be a filmmaker since I was a little kid. I’ve been watching and analysing movies and videos since my childhood.

Does that mean I wasted my whole life? Did I spend all those hours, working on a skill that won’t lead me anywhere? Doing the same thing everyday is safer, filing papers, going to meetings all the time. There’s no way I could mess up, get lost, or get hurt. Is it worth it to be safe, but unhappy? I wanna make my family proud. I want to be the kid that grows up and makes tons of money, to be the one that can buy everybody expensive gifts for Christmas, that’s not really easy in a place like this where creativity doesn’t pay off. I guess I should do what my dad wants me to do.

That’s the thing though, it’s what Dad wants me to do, it’s not what I want to do. The only way to live life to the fullest is to actually live. I don’t want to be some robot sitting behind a desk all the time, I’ll go crazy! I don’t want to live in a world of black and white, I need to do something original. Do I want to make myself happy, or my family? Do I want to enjoy working, or do I want a guaranteed salary? I don’t know what to do.

Comments (2)

Benjamin Seing

I find it very highly that the speaker came to life to me. I relate to the opinion from a parent and the same interest in digital media. I keep telling my parents that I want to do photography and filming but they assume that I will change my mind and go for something else and waste my time. The change of thought when the speaker suggested to do what the father recommended but goes stuck in between the choices of her future. I for one have made up my mind but is still facing the fact that my parents still are concerned.

Kamil Kielar

I really did love this story because it targets the situation where someone has to choose between making money and doing what you enjoy. Sometimes it is not worth doing what you enjoy but it is always nice to hear about someone who does something people they are passionate about it and they want to, not because thy will get paid. I wish you had focused a bit more on how the character is doing at the moment having chosen to do film instead of a money making job. The emotional rollercoaster we had been told to accomplish had really been shown here thought the character's indecisiveness. Great story.