"I can't even explain with words"

I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally silenced. This has been going on for so long, I am almost immune to it. The beatings, the touching, the lies. I am in over my head. I have to let someone know or I will go crazy.  I’m so scared. I do not know how this will change my life. If I tell the police and they both get locked up, who is going to take care of me? I am afraid that it will all backfire, that I will suffer worse than them. Because although they have put me through so much, I need them more than they know. This is tearing me apart, and consuming me,  If I don’t tell something soon, I am going to explode. I’ve

} been thinking about telling my best friend Aidan. Aidan’s been my best friend since we’ve both learned how to walk. lol bus rides, he has been there for me more than anyone else. I cannot imagine life without him, his kind smile, reassuring words, and his warm laugh. They have all but made everything bad in my life more bearable. I’ve trusted him with everything, every single part of me, he pretty much knows me more than anyone else on earth.

I know he’s a good friend but still, i'm frightened to tell anybody because I don't want them sharing out my secret. My mom and Aiden's mom were friends since they were in high school and after going to the same college, because they became so close, they decided that when they both had children, their kid’s would also be best friends.

I just don’t know what to do right now I'm hoping he’s not going to say anything I know he’s going to stick by my side through everything again is the only person who I can trust he’s the only person in the world who means so much to me I don't know what I would do if he broke trust

All I'm thinking is about how my father is sexually abusing me and how my mother is physically I just need help but I don't the help because my parents are going to be in danger and i'm afraid of what they're going to do to me. Why do i have to go through this how come i just can't have a perfect life how come my parents are doing this to me what type of parents would do this to there own child how can you feel so comfortable doing this to me i want to love my parents but i can't because of the things they're doing i don't even know if they love me because if they did they wouldn't be abusing me

All im hearing is the ambulance the cops  the sirens cops banging on to the door to get in.

Why would adian ever let my secret out i thought i would be able to trust my bestfriend the one who i knew since kindergarten the one where we learned how to walk together the one where we stuck together the one and the one where we grew up together that was supposed to be my best friend it's killing me inside that my trust broken i feel so hurt i thought that i can trust that one person but now i can't because i told him i told him not to tell anyone he knows my parents are going to be in danger he knows they might do something to me when the both get out so why would you ever share out that secret that was suppose to stay between me and you.i feel like my life ended