It Takes Two to Tango

Nate, what are you doing with my phone? Come on just -sighs- ok yes, I’m cheating on you. Baby, please, I’m sorry. Please just let me explain, alright. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, it just kind of did, ok. I know you’re upset, more than upset, but just hear me out. How long? 2 months, his name is- you’re right, he doesn’t matter right now. What matters is me explaining myself.

When it first started you were working crazy hours, I was proud of you for getting that promotion, but Nate, you changed. Haven’t you noticed what it’s done to you, to our relationship. You’re distant, and you’re always too exhausted to have a conversation. You became monosyllabic and when you did talk in full sentences it was only ever about work. Did you really just say that to me, Nate? You were selfish, you didn’t care about what was happening in my life. And I tried to keep this relationship going, but you gave me nothing. If you had been complaining about your boss or some co-workers the day before, I would make that dish you like, chicken cordon bleu, to cheer you up. Maybe I’d get a quick thank you, maybe, but that was it. I even went to that stupid networking event with you and you know how much I hate wearing cocktail dresses and heels. I spent the whole night hanging out with someone’s grandmother while you were busy kissing up to your boss. I tried to save this, but it takes two to tango right? I don’t know why you’re so surprised. I mean, did you think I was just going to sit around and wait for you to remember how to be a good boyfriend? If that were the case I’d be waiting an eternity.

I’m sorry that this was so abrupt, but I was worried. I was worried that if you didn’t have anyone in your life things would get bad, or at least worse than they already were. (pause)I know that this isn’t a good time, but do you realize that this is the longest conversation we’ve had in what seems like forever. Laughs What’s he like? Are you sure you want to hear about him? Ok, um well he’s really sweet and smart, he works in marketing. Um, we met at that networking party, oddly enough, and he was actually someone else’s date. He came over and he asked me to dance. When I said sure, he joked and said that he was actually talking to the old lady next to me. He made me laugh so much that night, I hadn’t had fun like that in awhile. Listen, he’s a good guy, I’m the one at fault here. I cheated on you, I lied and I’m sorry. Look at me, what I did was wrong, I’ll admit to that, but don’t act like you’re so innocent. Nate, you’re not the same person that I met a year ago, you let your job change you. You lost your compassion and your heart, and I deserved better than what you gave me.

Do I still love you? Honestly, I think I stopped a while ago, but I did at one point. Sometimes I thought that things would get better, I prayed that they would. There was one night when you came home and you were hammered, but you gave me a hug that lasted longer than 2 seconds. You apologized about letting your job change you, and for a split second I saw a nice future together. Then you woke up, got sober and went to work. Things didn’t change and I found myself wondering how I could still love someone that I didn’t even recognize? Nate, we can’t do this anymore.