Keystone XL Monologues


In history class we are learning about the Keystone XL pipeline. The pipeline will be from the tar sands in Canada to southern United States.For the project we had to make monologues from different point of views on the Keystone XL project that congress is debating on. My monologues are about the effects of the tar sands on the world, why people are trying to run through with Keystone XL and how stupid we are for even trying to do this.

Fighting the Good Fight

(Character has a hippie californian accent. Occasionally will smoke throughout the show and put intense feelings into certain points)

(sits in chair and puts on radio equipment.)

“Good Morning, all you tar sand blockers. This is John Gatti here on Climate Watch Radio Show giving you the latest news on the (raises fist) fight against Keystone XL! As most of you may know we are in a global crisis. Global warming is getting worse and is affecting our climate. I don’t know about you guys but I think winter decided to come early this year and not on its own account. Mother nature is trying to tell us that what we’re doing is wrong, but the government doesn’t want to listen because they’re corrupted. Corrupted by the green stuff. I’m not talking about the weed here people.”

(Deep breath in)

“That’s some good stuff, I’m talking about the money. 800,000 gallons of oil a day, at $4 a gallon for us, the oil company is making $32,000,000 a day (Slams fist on table) and their not one even on the fields working to get it themselves! Who needs that much money if all you’re going to do is spend it on yourself and ruin the climate for everyone else. These tar sands are dirtier than any other type of oil we’ve dug up and used. Those groovy scientist who study climate change say it will be game over if we go through with this.”

“It would raise the CO2 levels by .06% which is a big dent for one country. I’m talking to you government, I’m talking to you! (deep breath in) Well you groovy tar sands blockers ive run out of time. I hope you learned something new today and I’ll be back tomorrow to give you more news. Gatti Out People!”

Grumpy Tar Sands

(character is grumpy, rude and shows a strong dislike towards humans and their dumb ideas)

“Hey you, you dumb human”

“Yea I’m talking to you, you must think you’re doing something really good for your country huh? Digging up the rest of me and watching the rest of your friends turn me into oil. Either that or you just enjoy that paycheck you’re getting.”

“Hehehe I would too if i got paid to you know shovel humans and burn them for fuel. I wonder what they would give off? (laugh)

“What do i give off? Are you seriously asking me that? I mean I knew you humans were dumb, but I didn’t know you were that dumb jeez. It’s like talking to a plank of wood. Why are you working here if you don’t know what Im going to give off, but if you haven’t heard, I am dirtier than any oil you humans have dug up. I’m guessing tar didn’t stick out to you?”

(mumbles) “dumb ass”

“You got other more important things to worry about than what I said. Like what will happen to you and all your little human friends if this goes through.”

“Don’t ask me. What do I look like a freaking book? You got the internet go home and search it up yourself. Now get out of here I don’t want your scent getting on me.”