loveme.net

Posted by Lily Palmer in English 2 - Pahomov - A on

I won’t let you love me, you can’t, you don’t even know me. I know me pretty well and I fucking hate myself. I don’t have the capacity to love someone, ok I sound like a robot, but you get it. You know that thing where people say you can’t love someone until you love yourself? That’s me with you. I know you say I deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy too. I can’t let you waste your time on someone who doesn’t find a deeper meaning in a word. This is better for you and me. We’ve never met and I can’t love someone I’ve never met. Your baggage is my baggage and mine is yours. I don’t want you to have to deal with mine.

Belle shuts her laptop

That four letter word means nothing. I don’t understand how words can mean so much to people especially such a simple saying. I get that words like onomatopoeia or auspicious or idiosyncratic could have meaning because they’re so big. But love, l-o-v-e. According to Merriam Webster; To love: is to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone). But the top definition for love on Urban Dictionary is nature's way of tricking people into reproducing. That’s funny because it’s kind of true. Love is all chemical. And because of that, it’s too fucking complex. I don’t even think I have the capacity to love.

Opens laptop

Sorry I needed a breather. You’re perfect, you really are. You deserve someone that can provide far more for you than I can. You don’t even know my last name. All you know is Bellebeauty94. No, My last name is not beauty. It’s not like I don’t want to be with you. That isn’t the case at all. I’ve been trying for so long and so hard to bring myself to say that I love you.

Shuts laptop

I made a tumblr when I was like 13 and now I’m about to graduate high school. I don’t remember a time without the internet. Physical contact isn’t even necessary anymore. And I can’t really tell if that terrifies me or amazes me.

I guess if love is only a word…

It won’t kill me to tell me I love him. Fake it till you make it right? I can’t help how he feels.

Opens laptop

Hey. I love you.


loveme.net

Comments (7)

Jevon Price (Student 2018)
Jevon Price

I like the concept but I couldn't really connect with it because there didn't seem to be as much passion behind the recording. My favorite part is when she said all he knows is her username. This stood out because it summed up everything by basically saying that they really don't know each other.

Ethan Halprin (Student 2018)
Ethan Halprin

I can connect to this character because they are confused about love, and does not understand it's meaning and importance. They still have a lot of learning to do, and it makes me think about what I could teach them, as well was what I still have to learn. The part that I will remember is when they said, "fake it till you make it." This was surprising and powerful because love is important and pretending can be dangerous.

Zoe Chernowski (Student 2018)
Zoe Chernowski
  1. I couldn't really connect personally with the character with them being online, but I do connect with the message and the emotions the character is going through.
  2. Something that will stick with me is that the character does a comparison for definitions of a word. I do that as well sometimes, so I found it interesting. I also like how the piece ended.
Anthony McDonnell (Student 2018)
Anthony McDonnell
  1. I can connect to this character well. I like how she is simultaneously confused, cynical, and over-the-moon about the concept of love. It's so much more realistic than some sappy poem or a bland, flirty text message.
  2. The part at the end where the speaker realizes just how much this generation is attached to technology. When everything (including love) is now done digitally, we have truly entered a brave new world.
Christopher Irwin-Diehl (Student 2018)
Christopher Irwin-Diehl

The part where the character contrasts the Urban Dictionary and Marion Webster definitions of "love" stands out to me, because those are two very different sources of information, but the character found the less trustworthy source (ud) more believable than the professional dictionary definition.

Aidan Williams (Student 2018)
Aidan Williams

This was really dark, but really good. I can definitely relate to the nihilism behind the character, and as simple as this story is, and over the short amount of time it takes place in, so much happens inside this character's head. The pessimistic contrast between the official, aloof dictionary definition, and the realistic Urban Dictionary definition will definitely stick with me.

Arielle Moore (Student 2018)
Arielle Moore

I love how simple yet complex this is. I connected with this character because this society has a very slight idea of what love is, especially people my age so it's really understandable to be stuck in a place of having no idea of what to do. A moment that I will remember is when you labeled the definition of love and how it affected you.