Msanders English essay.
A-Band.
When I’m chilling with my friends, there comes sup. When I’m with parents sup becomes Hello. When I’m with Nana it becomes Hey. When I’m with my Spanish teachers it becomes hola. There are many different ways of saying this one word. Depending on who I’m with I say different words with the same meaning. I don’t know who I am or what my real identity is. It changes from person to person.
I’m was walking to the 30th street train station and I saw a Hobo.
“Hey little fella got some food today?”
“Hey no. Uhm no I don’t have any.” Then I ran. I was freaked out.
It might be 2 words but that’s all it takes to tell me who I am. I usually say hey or hey you, to people I don’t know or people who I’m not comfortable with.
On my first day of SLA I was sitting at a table. Then some kid, I still don’t remember now from summer institute, came and sat next me.
“Yo Mike whats up?” Asked the Kid
“Hey you. It’s... It’s you.” I replied.
“How you doing? “
“Good, Good. I’m doing, umm I’m doing good.”
I tend to stutter in uncomfortable situations. I am never comfortable with people I don’t know very well. To them I talk like a nervous cow.
According to James Baldwin “ Language … reveals the private identity and connects one with … the larger, public, or communal identity them” This quote would connect perfectly with people, Especially with me. The meaning behind the quote is that language of a person can tell others who or how that person is. The quote means that people hide their true selves until they are comfortable or friends with a person. Until they are able to talk or communicate with language no one will know his or hers true identity. Like in an episode of “Ned’s Declassified” there was a new student. The student’s dad was in the military so she would move all the time. So every time she moved she would change her identity based on the situation. But Ned would eventually find the truth about her. I believe it is the same thing that happened to me when I got my first friend of SLA.
“ Mike, when did you become so funny?” Asked the friend
“I don’t know why. I just say what comes to my mind.” Said I.
“ But you are always so quiet”
“I don’t know why I just do what I do”
From that moment my “Heys” turn into “Hellos” or “sups”. At least to
my friend it changed. I never at the time figure out the reasons on why I do the things I do. For some reason my whole identity changes from place to place, and Person to person. After school for the first couple of weeks I would go and hang out with neighborhood friends. Hey turns into “what’s up my Nigga.” but the next day at school I would never even think about saying that. First of all I don’t know how they would they react to the word. The comfort level is not there.
When I am with teachers or other grown up’s I try not to embarrass myself. My Heys are Hello’s to be polite. I don’t think they would accept a sup or MN. The hello changes every time.
“ Hey Mike ,you are really struggling right now in Spanish. Is there any thing you want to talk about ?” Said a teacher
“ No No it’s ok” Said me.
I would just walk away. I never usually talk to people. I don’t want them to judge me for who I am. I am very sensitive so I try to avoid controversy.
After my day my parents would usually ask about my day.
“How was your day ?“asked my mom.
Usually if it was
my friends I would respond with something cool. I don’t think my parents would find the humor with the cool way of talking. Most of the times my cool stuff would
turn into a punishment. So I just say “Yo. It’s been good. “My “Hey” turns into
yo’s when I have the comfort but I don’t want to say what is in my mind. This causes me to not know what my
identity is. My parents think they know who I am. Not even I know who I am.
“
Michael how was your day”
“It was good.”
I would always say it is good but really not. I don’t want my parents to over react. So I hide stuff from them. Maybe even my identity. These things not only happen to me but they secretly happen to other people. People of the world today do not know what their true identity is. Like me they change their identity based on the people or the situation they are in. It is hard because in every situation it changes. My situations would change base on my comfort level.
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