My Changing Life: From the Worst to the Best

In life, there will be many changes ahead. Sometimes, you have to change for the better, but many people takes the path that leads them in the wrong direction. There are times where you don’t want to make the change because you feel uncomfortable about it or scared of people making judgements. For a better change, one must accept the consequences of it and live with it. Sometimes, developing a change can be the best decision you’ll ever make in your life. In addition, you’ll need to learn how to sacrifice the things you love to make this change. In this essay, I will be writing about my close relationship with my brother and how he has affected my life before and after he moved out from Philly to California in 2009.

When I was little, I remember my brother would come home from high school and he would buy me meatball subs like twice a week. They were delicious. We were very close and we would tell each other everything. On the contrary, I am a shy person and I didn’t like expressing my feelings or thoughts to whomever I’m around. However, with my brother, it’s different. I remember the time when I accused my brother for the bad things that I had done around the house. I blamed everything on my brother. But now, I feel guilty in doing so. Ever since the day he left to California, my life changed completely. That is because my brother was the only person that I was close with. He was always there whenever I needed him. When my brother left, I thought my life would change negatively because he was the one who has been guiding me towards my goals and I relied everything on him. When he left, I felt horrible, thinking of what my life would be like living without my brother.

Loneliness tried to overcome me day by day. But the memories of my brother was haunting me. I tried not to think of him, but the voices that I hear everyday from my family saying how much they miss him didn’t help my self-confidence in overcoming the memories of my brother at all. I always wanted to change for the better when my brother left. It was hard overcoming the change, especially if you live with people that always recall back details about the missing person. The only person that I could talk to overcome my loneliness was my brother. Back then, I wasn’t close with anyone, not even my friends or my parents. I rely mostly on my brother to be there and to help me out with things. This time, there wasn’t anyone to help me. I had to learn to be an independent person and it was definitely hard trying to be one.

I tried to see my brother’s departure as a good thing. Maybe he will live a better life there in California than in Philly. I try not to think of all the negative things when my brother is gone, which was my accomplishment as days goes by after his departure in 2009. I seldom look back at the times of our brotherhood. Instead, I attempted to learn to do things myself. I came up with a mindset that I want to become an independent person.  I believe this is the best decision that I have ever made. Although, I made some serious mistakes before, but I learn from them. We all learn by the mistakes we make in life. That’s how we gain experiences for the actions we do everyday.

In sustaining this change of becoming an independant person, I had to sacrifice and give in to a lot of new things. The first thing that I had to do was to ask more of my parents of the necessities that I may encounter. Usually, it’s my brother that I go to for the things I need. Although, I do ask my parents for stuff that is more significant. Other than that, I just simply go to my brother. But during the course of myself coming to a change, I had to learn to become more independent such as making my own choices. This is where everyone has to go through in one way or another when becoming a teenager. This is my way.

I started realizing that I was making my own radical choices as life progresses. Some were bad and some were good. I made a choice to stay committed to school and maintaining my personal life and social life. Making the choice of being committed to my schoolwork has been rewarding for me. This made me more noticeable in the family. I was a straight A student in middle school and teachers absolutely loved me. Of course there were some rough times during the school years, but I make the best of it. That’s what I was taught to do. It was hard trying to be on top of my game in school, when you didn’t have anyone at home helping you with your homework, unless you call a friend up. My parents didn’t know English. They went to school in Vietnam, their hometown. Therefore, everything was up to me, even the decisions that I decided to make, whether to not do the complex homework or to get help. I was independent.

At home, I was the one who would do all the chores and help around the house. There are times where I have to lead directions in a car to a specific destinations because my parents are bad with directions due to their lack of English. I was playing the role of my brother. Ever since my brother left, I was left in charge of cleaning and helping my parents out. Everything falls on me now. I have to take the role of my brother and myself. At first, I was irritated because of the many things I have to do. But in a way, I find the best of it. By having the role of my brother and myself, I learned to do things more efficiently and collectivity. It was kind of a benefit for me because I get to handle the jobs of what an adult would do. This helped me become a more organized and responsible person in life. I made the worst to become the best advantage for me. Sure, it is hard. But it’s life and I would have to learn these type of skills sooner or later.

A couple years after my brother’s departure, I knew that I was in good shape and I was heading towards the right direction. I started to realize that change is possible. I was able to make significant choices for myself in becoming an independent person. I learned that motivation and determination was the key to accomplish something big in my life.  I changed significantly from when my brother was still in Philly between now and present day.

At first, I didn’t think change was possible because it was such a big change to my life. I know that I would get over the fact that my brother is away, eventually. I just didn’t know when I would get over it. Turns out, it is possible. I became a better person through the hard times that I have been through and I learned from it such as learning about the things and responsibilities that I had to do in my house without my brother. I am glad for this change and for my brother departure’s. Because of my brother’s departure, I was able to learn on how to become independent and relying less on others. This was my way of change of becoming a teenager and a young adult.