My Personal Essay and Video

Javier Chueca-Bosch

English 3

Mrs. Pahomov

12/22/2017

August 23th: My long term exchange is about to start. It’s six in the morning in Barcelona’s airport. Even Though, is early and the sun is just rising the air is heavy and hot. The airport is already functioning and the busy businessman going up and down, with their small suitcases, showing their professionality in the art of traveling. There are also German and British families who might come for their last week of summer vacation to Spain willing to stay in the beaches as much as possible until they turn red as shrimps. My mind is starting to ask questions that no one can answer. Questions that all seem to have the same answer. Answered by the sentence that my dad has told me just before crossing the security control. “Be yourself Javi, just be yourself”

After every single moment in America I feel how I change. However, there are moments when the change becomes visible. Is like the outside armour gets blown away and for first time the changes materializes into a real feeling emotion or even physical sign.

The english benchmark is due tomorrow and I’m here staring at the wall with a bunch of thoughts that go around my mind. None of them are about this huge project that I have to finish for tomorrow. After the initial thoughts questions start to appear. Do I really like her? If the answer is yes. How can I have done this incredible change in such a short time? No, no way I like her we only kissed once and I was drunk is just a normal one night relationship, something similar to Spain. But what if….?

The night is cold and cloudy. There is no more light and the streets are empty. Shops start closing and my benchmark still in blank. The thoughts keep going while I type in the computer a bunch of words that I hope Mrs. Pahomov will like enough to give me a good grade. I actually see how my mind have changed I see it but I don’t realize it, I don’t want to accepted, I’m not ready for it.  

“1,2,3,4, 1,2,3,4, 1,2,3,4” This numbers that accompanied me during the late afternoon  football practices. Or during this night parties. This numbers that I used to dance with some girl who, with some luck, will be happy to come home with me. I know it was me because I have it in my mind but, I don’t feel identified with this boy anymore. The ambition that he might have ever had of alluring a girl are not with me anymore. I, sometimes, wonder if I flew back to Spain, would I notice the change? Throughout my time in America, I’ve learned about new ideas and met new people. These experiences have caused a complete change in who I am today.  But the question still in my head. Do I love her? The question has evolved as so as me and has gone to another level.

Today is Sunday afternoon the Eagles are playing but in my head nothing's the same anymore. Yesterday, she came to the city to make some papers at USPS. It was snowing and the air was cold and got into my throat as a milion small spikes. I get together with her to help her with the paperwork and then to hang around downtown. Every step required some more effort than the normal ones and the distance seem to be twice longer. We end up on the Rocky steps with the Philly skyline in front of us. The views were amazing, but I'd rather look at her and kiss her than watching the views. In that moment I felt ready to accept the huge change that my brain had been doing during all that time. And there is finally an answer to the question. I do love her, it has been difficult but I do love her.

While the Eagles play. My head keeps going up and down. Thinking on the change I have just made. The whole idea of one night thing has disappeared from my brain. “Yesssss the Eagles have scored” Joe gives me a hug and I go back to my mind world. It seems that America has changed me every second I spend here brings me to a new state of mind. To make it clear.

As an example of this change, you wouldn’t have the same idea of having a relationship after watching a romantic movie right? I would say there is always a first mind changer like the first kiss in a romantic movie. Then the movie tries to prepares you to realize the change by giving an story. But when the change is realized when you see the break up and you watch the two main characters cry for love. The change was initially made but you don’t realize it until almost the end of the movie. So I would consider my relationship with her as this preparation in the movie. A preparation, long, heavy but necessary to accomplish the mind changes in itś totality

And when I’ll go back to spain it would be six in the morning and  my long term exchange would be about to end. The air would be hot and heavy. The businessmen will be going up and down, with their small suitcases, showing their professionalism in the art of traveling. And a bunch of tourist will be coming out of the finger, to get fed up with all the information that they are gonna receive in the Philadelphian Museums. I will remember the day of my departure in Barcelona, my head was full of thoughts and questions. I would remember just having one answer. ¨Just be yourself Javi, just be yourself”. This words were, for me, profund and sentimental but what I didn't realize was that the self that my dad was talking about was going to change in such an spectacular way. And what is for sure is that the kid who once left Barcelona as an adventure, has now come back as a total new grown up.