Pain by Brielle Thompson

I know you may be wondering why I am standing in front of you guys. You all most likely know me, but for the ones who do not, my name is Angela Williams. We have been going to school together since 9th grade. To get a better understand of who I am, I’m the girl who was shoved into a locker and made fun of for the whole 10th grade of high school. I bet yall know who I am now. (chuckle)

Well I need to tell you about what has happened since then.

You might have noticed that I left school for a while. I was going through so much and trying to hide it was starting to become harder and harder for me. After getting bullied in school everyday I couldn’t take it anymore so I planned on dropping out and running away. I felt like I wasn’t worth anything. I attempted suicide a couple times, I just felt like I didn’t deserve life.  And I damn sure ain’t sign up for this.

Not only was I going through problems in school, I was having family problems. My family was neglecting me and it was like I was nobody to them. My mother treated me so bad. ( pause, take deep breath) I’m sorry this is my first time really telling anyone this. But my mother got pregnant with me by an accident. She only wanted my brother and that is the way she treated us. He was her world and I was just there. If it wasn’t for my grandma I wouldn’t be. She always would tell me that she don’t want me, she don’t understand why I am still in her life and things like that. There was a time when she told me we were going to the movies and that I could go, I thought that was the first step of her improving and starting to become the actually mother I wanted her to be. Believe it or not but once we got to the theater she told me I had to pay for myself knowing I didn’t have any money. I was 12 years old where did she think i was going to get money from. I had to sit outside of the theater in the cold while they went in to see the movie. That was the type of mother I had. I got tired of it and gave her her wish, I finally ran away.

When I ran away from home, I attempted to slit my wrists in a parking lot. Lucky for me,   there was a lady that walked by me and stopped. She talked me out if doing this to myself and called the police for help.

I tell you all of this today to inform you guys that you will get up out of your struggles no matter what.  As a young adult you have to know the value of yourself and understand that you are worth the world, even in your worst situations. You have to learn to love yourself because no one else can love you if you can’t love yourself first. I have learned that everything has happened for a reason and if it doesn’t  go as plan you just don’t take that L. Look at it in a positive way, think of taking a L as a LESSON and NOT a LOSS. You will have a lot of people that is going to install different things into your head some being negative but you have to learn to be strong and get yourself up out that struggle . For those struggling with insecurities, low self esteem, and depression I just want you to know that you are beautiful, you can do anything you put your mind to, you are strong and you are worth the world. When you think about these things your mind automatically think its a girl going through these struggles but that is not true guys go through this also and I want y'all to know that this speech is for the guys out there too. And yes it comes off as if my focus is for the ones struggling with problems within themselves but it’s for everyone. Everyone is worth something and you may not be sure what that something is but believe me god will come thru keep ya head up and be blessed