Personal Essay Paxton Wentzell

Paxton Wentzell

Ms. Pahomov

English 11

January 3rd, 2018

Personal Essay BM 2

The world around us is always changing. On a cosmic level, comets are flying and planets are being formed. On a societal level, high-up government positions alternate parties and citizens are angered about the political climate. On a more personal level, I’m making bad decisions and I’m growing up. Or maybe it should be the other way around. It’s not like I can control the decisions that I make. I’m a teenager, I’m a growing boy, and my world is always shifting.

Last year, my world changed. I switched to a new world. Hopping through that portal to another dimension. I decided to make new relationships, completely flipping the dynamics I had with others. My dynamics would continue to switch. In this dimension, things are changing constantly. In this changing world I come across hardship after hardship. No matter how hard I try, I can’t go back to my old world. I’m stuck in this changing world and it’s only given me problems. I’m the victim here. The world started changing causing me troubles that I couldn’t control.

That doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. It’s not like I came to a new world that’s changing all the time. All I did was change my relationships. I always lived in an ever-shifting world. I feel like there’s something that’s missing. If my changing world is giving me hardships even after I changed relationships, then it always has given me hardships from change.

Last year, my world changed. The rust covered gears just beneath the Earth’s crust started to rotate. Spinning me with them. All my friends abandoned me, isolating me and outcasting me from just about everything I did. As the gears began to crush my entire life, It took all I had not to give up. But I didn’t get crushed. I persevered. I still feel cut off, but, slowly, I’m getting back on my feet. I’m crafting new friendships and forgetting about the past and pushing back on those gears. I’m the hero here. I overcame the hardships thrust on me by the changing world.

What’s this? I’m pushing back on the gears, but I’m still running into hardships. How can that be? My world isn’t changing, so how can it still be creating problems for me? Life didn’t get any easier now that it’s not moving forward. Is there something I’m missing? If I stopped my world from changing and there is still hardship, then the problems must not be coming from the changing world.

Last year, my world changed. Of course it did, my world is always changing, but last year was different because I did something. I took advantage of my relationships with friends and I made mistake after mistake. I tried my best, but it wasn’t something I could recover from. The world did not suddenly shift, crushing me within its gears. And hardship did not follow me around every corner and across worlds. I jumped into the spinning gears on my own and I went looking for problems. I was the villain of the story. And I continue to make excuses for my actions.

What I did is not important. The point is that there is no excuse for the mistakes that I made over and over again. The world did change around me, but I will not keep blaming my problem on such a natural occurrence. With this new mindset I have begun to notice that many and most times peoples’ problems come out of their own faults and mistakes. They do not come because all of a sudden their world changed into something completely out of their control. So, why does that always seem to be the excuse. Why is it so difficult for people to accept that they are at fault and just fix themselves before they cause any more problems? This isn’t something I can answer for everyone. I’m still growing and I can only account for myself. As an individual, you should come to terms with reality and continue to use it to grow.

Animation Script

The world around us is always changing. On a cosmic level, comets are flying and planets are being formed. On a societal level, high-up government positions alternate parties and citizens are angered about the political climate. On a more personal level, I’m making bad decisions and growing up. Or maybe it should be the other way around. It’s not like I can control the decisions that I make. I’m a teenager, a growing boy, and my world is always shifting.

My world changed. All my friends abandoned me, isolating me and outcasting me from just about everything I did. It took all I had not to give up. I persevered. I still felt cut off, but, slowly, I was getting back on my feet. I began crafting new friendships and forgetting about the past. Overcoming the hardship that the changing world thrust upon me, I was the hero of my story.

Although, that isn’t completely true. As I push back on the world, resisting change, I still run into hardship. My world isn’t changing, so how can it still create problems for me? The problems I face must not be coming from the changing world.

My world changed. Of course it did, people’s worlds are always changing, but last year was different because I did something. I took advantage of my relationships with friends and I made mistake after mistake. The world did not suddenly shift, overwhelming and destroying me. I threw myself into trouble. I was the villain of my own story. And even in writing this essay, I continue to make excuses for my actions.

The details of what I did is not important. The point is that there is no excuse for the mistakes that I made over and over again. The world did change around me, but I will not keep blaming my problem on such a natural occurrence. With this new mindset I have begun to notice that many and most times peoples’ problems come out of their own faults and mistakes. They do not come because all of a sudden their world changed into something completely out of their control. I said in the beginning of this “I’m making bad decisions and growing up.” Does growth come because you make bad decisions, or is it the other way around? Does growing up lead to bad decisions that you don’t have control over?