Pipeline monologue project
The Key-stone worm infection
*Shake and cough in a bed*
Damn! (coughing)
Marsha!
*Say it in a sarcastic way*
YES I FEEL JUST FINE, THATS WHY I’M SITTING IN THIS HELL HOUSE BURNING UP!
(Takes her pills)
Ah that’s better...
Throw in some more cold rainstorms,rainstorms, snow storms, or something! I don’t feel so good.
I know something is wrong with me, I’m not stupid.
*Say it in a sarcastic way and begin to look up “Ways to shut up a nurse on google”*
OH WOW I HAVE GLOBAL WARMING? YA DON’T SAY? WHO KNEW?
And a Key-stone worm?...What the heck is that? No no I don’t wanna hear the whole story. Just give me basics. kay..hm...okay its a worm...3 months old..mhm okay...Made of metal...mhm... speed the dying process. Speed the dying process? What do you mean? The infection can’t be stopped! Well, I shouldn’t be surprised... I am dying.
I’ll never get better will I?
No? Well, I guess that’s why I’m in the intergalactic hospice. I was hoping to die in happiness. But uh, I came to realize that your pamhlet is pretty full of it “Best comfort in the galaxy” my ass.
How can I not be depressed?
Happy? What the heck is there to be happy about?
*Say it in a sarcastic way*
Because I’m living? Okay so... I’m living, I’m in a hospice, I can’t see my husband and kids and you want me to be HAPPY? Well I might as well just dance on my own grave marsha!
No, I’m not getting mad at you. I’m just dying ya know?.
Hand me my galaxy phone please. Oh, its in the drawer? oh okay.
*Picks up the phone and sound sickly*
Hello? Mars! Hey babe.
No, They said I had a worm. Called a Key-stone.
Yeah, It’s some sort of pipline. It’s a baby, only half grown about 3 months.
The doctor said once it matures it’ll be pumping 900,000 of oil a day. Yes honey, I know I know, hopefully it won’t be soon okay?
My immune system is getting worse honey, some of my cells are trying to stop it but they’re too weak. Not even the moon nurse can help me.
The Doctor said, if the pipline is fully mature and that I would die for sure.
I miss you too! I can’t wait to see you during visiting hours. Also, stay away from jupiter. I know she’s been eying you ever since they put me in here. Put Venus on the phone for me please.
Honey don’t cry okay? Baby, listen to me okay? My ice is melting, I’m getting hotter, my carbon levels are up. It was inevitable. In the case that I should go, take care of little baby mercury for me okay?
Don’t blame God either. My cells aren’t aware of the harm they’re causing me.
Meanwhile in the tarsands...
*sounds all cheery and excited (sound like a beverly hills blonde *Sounds stereotypical*)
OH MY GAWD ROSEY GUESS WHAT I JUST HEARD!
Jenny, told jenna, that told rodrick, that told john, that told gabriella, who told mark, who told me that we’re like TOTALLY taking a trip down to America.
We are cruisin in a shiny pipeline in 900,000 thousand barrels a day! Oh I can like, see it now! We’ll be used in the best cars! Feraris, mercedes, and a Lexus!
I know right? Who do these space ship losers think they are? Trying to steal the spotlight away from mel. Trying to stop us from coming over! Ugh! It’s just SOOO annoying!
OMG I know right? Like, now its my time. Forget the earth, I’m WAY too important. I’ll be the main reason why all of those humans have jobs and I’ll help America back on its feet!
OMG YEEEEES! Can’t you just imagine it Rosey? Hot dudes digging us up and travel down the brand new pipeline like VIP!
What ever.
Adolescense
Kurosaki?
*tugs on his pant leg*
Whats a pipeline?
Because everytime Daddy talks about it he gets happy cuz’ he owns the oils
REALLY? How much does it bring?
900,000 barrels! THAT’S alot of barrels!
No mommy, I’m not hungry, I’m talking with my friend
Kurosaki, from next door.
Sorry *cuddle onto his leg and look up* isn’t this good though? Because now momma can stop cryin everytime she sees the pwices!
What do you mean?
Just because mommy cries doesn’t mean it’s bad. Daddy just smacks her and tells her to suck it up because it’ll bring in more money for us.
Because he says women oughta be taught their place.
Momma said she wants a dee-vorce but I don’t know what that is.
She says if Daddy builds it then she’s gettin a dee-vorce
She says because Daddy is a bad man. Because they’re teawing down twees in Amewica. Mommy even showed me a website dat shows me ower time how much land has been torn!
*stands back and backs away*
What do you mean MY daddy is a bad man! He’s not! He even bought me a Gyoza maker, it may be the only thing he bought me but he’s not bad!
NO HE WON’T KILL ALL OF US! Global warming is a myth!
*Whine very VERY loudly*
Fine! DADDDDDYYYYY!!!!! DADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!
Pwease tell Kurosaki that the pipeline does not boost Cawbin levelz and oil
spills. And that we’ll be fine!
Thanks Daddy! Now can we go to the park?
But DADDY! What do you mean they tore it down? FOR THE PIPELINE?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Appendix (quotes above sources)
"Global warming? Wow Rosey, don’t be such a LOSER! Everyone knows that the science dudes just make that stuff up to get all famous."
1. http://ostseis.anl.gov/guide/tarsands/index.cfm
"Take care of little baby mercury for me okay?"
"I’m getting hotter, my carbon levels are up. It was inevitable."
"Pwease tell Kurosaki that the pipeline does not boost Cawbin levelz and oil spills. And that we’ll be fine!"3. http://www.foe.org/projects/climate-and-energy/tar-sands/keystone-xl-pipeline
"I’ll be the main reason why all of those humans have jobs and I’ll help America back on its feet!"
4. http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/k/keystone_pipeline/index.html
"900,000 barrels! THAT’S alot of barrels!"
"We’ll be used in the best cars! Feraris, mercedes, and a Lexus!"
Bibliography:
"About Tar Sands." N.p., n.d. Web.
"Google Images." Google Images. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Oct. 2012. <http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1>.
"Friends of the Earth." Friends of the Earth. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Oct. 2012. <http://www.foe.org/projects/climate-and-energy/tar-sands/keystone-xl-pipeline>.
"Keystone XL Pipeline." Keystone XL. N.p., 16 Oct. 2012. Web. 16 Oct. 2012. <http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/k/keystone_pipeline/index.html>.
"Global Warming." National Wildlife Federation. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Oct. 2012. <http://www.nwf.org/Global-Warming/Policy-Solutions/Drilling-and-Mining/Tar-Sands/Keystone-XL-Pipeline.aspx>.
Mufson, Steven. "Keystone XL Pipeline Would Add Link in U.S.-Canada Trade Relations." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 08 July 2012. Web. 16 Oct. 2012. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/keystone-xl-pipeline-creates-sticking-point-in-us-canada-trade-relations/2012/07/06/gJQAxcrtRW_story.html>.
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