Speaking My Own Language

“Guys what do you want to do this weekend?

“We should like definitely go to the mall.” I exclaimed. “You talk so white,” my friends Naby and Bryan replied.

Whenever my friends tell me I talk white I think to myself, how can someone talk white? Is there a problem with the way I talk?  What am I saying that is different from what others are saying? Why should it matter if I talk white, black, pink or purple? What does it have to do with anything?  Personally, I don’t see how I talk white, I don’t have a problem with the way I talk so why should anyone else? I think I talk proper because that’s how I was brought up.

This talking white thing bothers me because I just want to know what people mean when they say I talk white. When I make new friends I tend to ask them if I talk white to see what they will say. Some say yes and others say no.  “Do I talk white?” I may ask. “Yeah you do” “Do I talk white?” they say, mocking me. They usually laugh and make jokes and continue to mock me. I never knew one’s voice or choice of words could sound so funny, I think to myself. I don’t understand where this talking white thing comes from. What’s the big deal?

I have to believe that perhaps my upbringing contributes to my language development.  I have been raised for the most part in the Greater Northeast section of Philadelphia and live in quite and ethnically diverse neighborhood. I have attended private schools that were predominately African American and transitioned to public schools whose make-up has been predominately White. I have made and maintained friends of all nationalities and religious backgrounds. Due in part to these things I have mentioned, I have to wonder if I’ve picked up a specific way of speaking from attempting to create my own language when interacting with the multitude of friends that I have. I imagine even speech can be influenced because of the people you’ve been around your whole life.

While I do consider upbringing as an influence on how I talk, I cannot believe that this is the only or major factor simply because many of my family members comment on this as well.  “There’s the accent,” they say or “you guys,” they tease.  Often times I find myself limiting conversations to one or two words just so I won’t have to hear whatever remarks they are waiting to give about how I talk.  Although I am no longer bothered when this happens, I recall times that it totally upset me, because I wasn’t speaking any differently than anyone else I knew. I never mentioned any of these feelings to my family; however, as I got older it seemed as if they slowly stopped criticizing me about the way I talk.

Despite the fact that my family has eased up on the speech comments, it is something that I continue to deal with in school among my peers and when I’m hanging out with certain groups of friends.  For instance when I am with my African American friends I may say, “hey guys do yous want to go to the park?” and immediately they reply with;  “Imani, why do you say yous, that’s how white people talk.” While I know I should probably be honest and tell them how I feel, I’ve always felt like they would judge me about taking it to heart.  As such, I decided that it’d be best when with them to speak in a way that they could best identify. Yet, code switching in this way reminds me of Maxine Hong Kingston’s assertion that; “ a ready tongue is evil.”   Trying to speak in a way that is not natural for sometimes results in me saying things that are inappropriate and uncomfortable.

My best friend Tiffany  is White and when I’m with her I tell her how I feel about the “ I talk white comments” and I tell her how I never felt so insecure about something so little before. It was to the point where I didn’t feel comfortable talking or speaking around certain people. She’s has the ability to calm me down and tell me that there’s no problem with the way I talk. She reassures me that I don’t have to change something so unique for people that have no idea what they are talking about. Tiffany always reminds me how proper I talk and how I shouldn’t be insecure about that because I have manners and am a very courteous person.

Having a friend who understands my perspective is really empowering.  It helps me cope with being mocked and criticized.  It also helps because she is a listening ear and that allows me a chance to get it off my chest. Tiffany has helped me realize that I need to take a stand.  Everyone does things differently and we are all individuals with our own unique styles.  Richard Rodriguez  in his text “Hunger of Memory” indicates; “people involve a language in order to describe and thus control their circumstances.” this quote reminds me that we all have a specific way in which we use language and to feel empowered we have to use language to navigate our destiny. No one should be judged or criticized by how they speak.

“It goes without saying, then, that language is also a political instrument, means, and proof of power. It is the most vivid and crucial key to identify,” James Baldwin. I strongly agree with Mr. Baldwin because one's language identifies who they are. Regardless of how I speak, I have a voice which is my instrument and I should be able to speak however I want without my friends, family or whomever criticizing and teasing me. I feel comfortable with my language and how I speak, I shouldn’t be ashamed of something that is mine. How I speak is powerful and unique!