That Eye Brow Trimmer
Azaria Burton
Monologue
Guess what Shanique!?(Sits on bedroom floor) Shay had the nerve to buy this expensive behind eye brow trimmer. She is so dumb she spent 100 dollars on it! Like really, a eyebrow trimmer? I could’ve bought her one of them things from the corner store for 1 dollar. I swear we are from different parents. One of us is adopted because there is no way we are related. I’ll admit it works well, (pauses) as well as eyebrow trimmer can, but there are too many other things in the world better than an eyebrow trimmer. Two more weeks to the last day of school, that money could of went to summer clothes. Maybe even some accessories, so she can stop wearing mine! Jeez, she gets on my nerves. You know what? Maybe, I’m more angry about this morning when she had the audacity to wake me up to try and trim my eyebrows. Can you believe that? 7 o’clock in the morning. Yeah, she’s lucky I don’t smack the skin off her face because I be ready to fight.She know I like my sleep. I just want to send her away somewhere far away. Oh, and as if waking me up wasn’t enough she teased me about my eyebrows. She swear they’re bushy, that female dog even called me Chewbacca. Then when I get mad she throws the, I’m your older sister line. She actually thinks that because she is older than me I actually have to listen to her. She is terribly mistaken and got a another thing coming, I mean she ruins everyday of my life. Why was she born? I hate her, I hate her so much. I just want to snap her neck. Why can’t she just die? Oh! Did I tell you? She had the nerve to(close eyes and shakes head) curse me out a few days ago because I told her she was stupid. But, let me tell you why she stupid. She got this "new" boyfriend. When I say he look like trash I mean complete and utter trash, bottom of the barrel couldn't go any lower so I told her; Even you could've done better, but you're stupid so why would you? She started flipping out calling the B word and stuff.Talking bout she gonna get me back.How she gonna get me back. Please, she lucky I value my freedom because we was in the kitchen and kitchens have knives. I wish she was more like Mirah. Mirah is the best big sister in the world(smiles bog), she loves me and I love her. Mirah is like my twin,I wouldn't care if Shay died today, but Mirah, my heart would be broken. Shay ain't nothing but a thing. (flips hair and rolls eyes) “Chalee! Hurry there's been an accident!” An accident,Lets me find out what’s going on. Give me a second Niq Niq (Runs down stairs). Oh, my gosh!! Shay!(Runs to Shay and grabs her) NO, please don’t go. I love you more than anyone in the world. I’m so sorry for all the things I said. I don’t want you dead you’re so important to me.I love you more than you'll ever know. Please don't(Sobs) Please! (Shay opens eyes ) “April Fools!” What!? It’s June and you got hit by a car and you were dead and.... (Jumps up) What the hell you asshole! This is not funny. I give you an inch you take a freakin mile. Oh my GOD! Thats it! Its official, I hate you!
Monologue
That Eye Brow Trimmer!
Guess what Shanique!?(Sits on bedroom floor) Shay had the nerve to buy this expensive behind eye brow trimmer. She is so dumb she spent 100 dollars on it! Like really, a eyebrow trimmer? I could’ve bought her one of them things from the corner store for 1 dollar. I swear we are from different parents. One of us is adopted because there is no way we are related. I’ll admit it works well, (pauses) as well as eyebrow trimmer can, but there are too many other things in the world better than an eyebrow trimmer. Two more weeks to the last day of school, that money could of went to summer clothes. Maybe even some accessories, so she can stop wearing mine! Jeez, she gets on my nerves. You know what? Maybe, I’m more angry about this morning when she had the audacity to wake me up to try and trim my eyebrows. Can you believe that? 7 o’clock in the morning. Yeah, she’s lucky I don’t smack the skin off her face because I be ready to fight.She know I like my sleep. I just want to send her away somewhere far away. Oh, and as if waking me up wasn’t enough she teased me about my eyebrows. She swear they’re bushy, that female dog even called me Chewbacca. Then when I get mad she throws the, I’m your older sister line. She actually thinks that because she is older than me I actually have to listen to her. She is terribly mistaken and got a another thing coming, I mean she ruins everyday of my life. Why was she born? I hate her, I hate her so much. I just want to snap her neck. Why can’t she just die? Oh! Did I tell you? She had the nerve to(close eyes and shakes head) curse me out a few days ago because I told her she was stupid. But, let me tell you why she stupid. She got this "new" boyfriend. When I say he look like trash I mean complete and utter trash, bottom of the barrel couldn't go any lower so I told her; Even you could've done better, but you're stupid so why would you? She started flipping out calling the B word and stuff.Talking bout she gonna get me back.How she gonna get me back. Please, she lucky I value my freedom because we was in the kitchen and kitchens have knives. I wish she was more like Mirah. Mirah is the best big sister in the world(smiles bog), she loves me and I love her. Mirah is like my twin,I wouldn't care if Shay died today, but Mirah, my heart would be broken. Shay ain't nothing but a thing. (flips hair and rolls eyes) “Chalee! Hurry there's been an accident!” An accident,Lets me find out what’s going on. Give me a second Niq Niq (Runs down stairs). Oh, my gosh!! Shay!(Runs to Shay and grabs her) NO, please don’t go. I love you more than anyone in the world. I’m so sorry for all the things I said. I don’t want you dead you’re so important to me.I love you more than you'll ever know. Please don't(Sobs) Please! (Shay opens eyes ) “April Fools!” What!? It’s June and you got hit by a car and you were dead and.... (Jumps up) What the hell you asshole! This is not funny. I give you an inch you take a freakin mile. Oh my GOD! Thats it! Its official, I hate you!
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